Getting the hang off dating

In order for the human race to carry on as a species, our young adults must start to learn how to date sooner or later, otherwise they’ll be hanging around until the Grim Reaper is finally made unemployed.

So, it’s time to scrap the app, waste your wi-fi and get down to some serious one-on-one, back-to-basics good old fashioned lovin’!

For all of you guys and girls who don’t remember Sergio Tachinni from the first time around, this is how we used to do it, when Frankie was saying Relax, and chillax was twenty years away (too soon).

The female half of the prospective partnership would never ask the guy out. It was just not the accepted thing to do. At the risk of sounding desperate, a young lady may ask one of her closest friends to do it, if they were sick of waiting and had a big enough crush, but many a love’s young dream died in a pair of patiently clasped hands sitting in the lap of a puff-ball skirt, because asking out was a ‘man-thing’.

And on the subject of asking, the only thought of ‘poking’ a potential date was way, way down the line, certainly not something you would consider in advance. A guy and a girl were considered ‘an item’ when the man took the bull by the horns and strode up to the target and asked her our, direct. The tactic either worked, or it didn’t; no waiting around for the object of your desire to log onto their dating site or social media platform. You had your answer there and then. Or, the man sent the answer back with the go-between friend, who, in this analogy would be the e-mail or private message facility you would have in the dashboard of your online dating profile.

Some things have not changed. And this one, whatever social media or ways of matchmaking dating websites throw at us next, will always remain the same: don’t expect too much from your first date and you won’t be disappointed.

First dates should be all about getting to know your new partner. In our day, it was pretty much a blank canvas. For the Generation Y of today, it will getting to know what is not on their dating site profile or social media wall.

If you raise the bar too high first time around, you will not only make a fool of yourself if you don’t make the jump, but even if you do, to carry on in the same way is simply leading your partner down the path. Above all be yourself and keep it real.

So, here’s hoping for the title of grandparent, soon, when the kids of today can taking dating, as Michael would have said, ‘Off The Wall’.

Dating in the noose as hanging is in

As reported earlier in the week, my nineteen year old step son has an aversion to dating. Not hat he has anything against women, and neither is he into men, but uncovering a romantic interest from his circle of friends, which is split more or less fifty-fifty male and female, is simply not on the cards.

There is plenty of documentary evidence on the internet to tell me that he is not on his own and this phenomenon is all too commonplace with ‘Generation Y’.

Online dating, once the provenance of the young and chic, has seen its most prominent increase in usage by those aged fifty-five plus in recent times, swiftly followed by the forty-five to fifty-four age group. Other than a true ‘matchmaking’ site, which takes ones characteristics, runs psychometric tests and analyses all other types of conundrums to pair couples, there is little to be gleaned from other types of online dating sites that you cannot get from other avenues of free social media.

The conclusion from this is, whereas in the past it would take weeks of seeing someone to get to know them by arranging dates with just the two of you outside your circle of friends, you can log onto their home page and discover everything instantly. The intrigue and mystique has all but gone, as you already have an opinion of a new friend before you have ever clapped eyes on them.

commitment is still a four-letter word

With such an array of talent available at the click of a mouse, flicking from one dating profile to the next, dropping PM’s or ‘crushing’ as many people who you think you may like on a dating site, the options are countless. What one dating site member has that a media socialite hasn’t can tempt you to leave as many doors of opportunity ajar as possible. Thus, the ‘C’ word, in this case ‘commitment’, never, ever gets a look in.

Even if two consenting young adults from the same group of friends do date, there is no longer the ‘taking sides’ when it all goes pear-shaped and the gang just returns to how it was before the ill-fated encounter. How times have changed! The retribution for letting ‘one of our down’ back in the day could last for weeks, if not permanently.

Industry, too, has backed this sentiment of lack of commitment from the younger generation up. However, it is job agencies and not online dating agencies who have taken the wrap in this instance.

Under recent financial constraints, the growth of the job agency has been unprecedented, with firms taking on staff on an ‘as needed’ basis. This has created something of a monster, as youngsters, now, are getting used to short-term stints with any one employer. With an emphasis returning to three and four year apprenticeships for school-leavers, we wish them luck, there.

What this will accomplish for the institute of marriage in years to come? Well, with fewer ‘Generation Y’ adults going on to get married, at least the divorce rate may eventually see a reversal in trend.