Abba, gold tracksuits and the treadmill dancing queen

cont’d from “Stop trudging the treadmill of dating…

This is not just a flight of fancy, but this one girl at a gym I used to attend became, in her blissful ignorance, something of a figure of ridicule and goes to prove all the more why you shouldn’t wear earphones on the treadmill at the gym if you’re going there to possibly attract a date as well as tighten up those glutes and abs.

And, no, this not a boring lecture about health and safety and how she went careering off the end of the treadmill because she couldn’t hear us warning her to stop. Although, that would have been a lot less embarrasing for the young lady and would certainly have attracted a lot more male attention if that had happened, instead. No, it is more to do with the fact that a certain type of person can get lost in their music. I mean lost as in wrapped up in it completely.

If you’re only using the text facilities, i.e. e-mailing other singles or private messaging potential partners on your dating site whilst you’re at home, you can have your music on as loud as you want and no one will care a fig. Those to whom you’re chatting will never be any the wiser, although Axl Rose at maximum volume could fall outside of dating site ettiquette if you’re having a one-to-one web-cam date.

But having your music on loud on the treadmill is an awful idea because you can’t hear yourself, or you become totally unaware of the fact that, you’re singing your head off to Abba’s greatest hits. That gold tracksuit you’re wearing takes on a whole new meaning; any chance of a date from anyone other than that guy who looks like a seventies German porn star has gone completely out of the window along with your credibility.

Oh, the faces that girl used to pull as she was singing along; she was, I suppose, quite pretty, but used to get so into Benny, Bjorn and the girls that it did actually become quite scary. And, yes, after those little Monday night performances, faces were all she ever did pull, too.

So, by all means, take your music along with you if you plan on heavy sessions on one machine, but remember two things. Firstly, if you want to be in the least bit approachable by someone who could be a potential partner, only ever have one earpiece in at any given time. And secondly, make sure the volume is up only high enough so that it can be a slight distraction from the tediousness of the exercise, and not so that it drowns out all else as if you were having your own private concert in the bathroom at home – you are not Agnetha or Anni-Frid.

More dating tips on gym can and gym carna, up tomorrow.

Stop trudging the treadmill of dating and go work it out

Happy February, everyone! Now that the first month of the year’s well and truly embedded and out of the way, how is 2012 going for you? Keeping up with all those resolutions you made at the end of 2011 – getting fitter and sorting your love life out? No, thought not.

Well, if trying to hold down both commitments is biting off more than you can chew, have you thought about combining them? Okay, the atmosphere’s a bit more hyped up at the gym than when you’re sitting at home with your pyjamas on browsing through the new dating site profiles, but this is like the real thing. You know, actually getting out there and meeting folk in a real environment – more like gym-jams, than PJ’s, eh?

Okay, it’s not for everyone, but if you do decide to give your dating site a miss for a while, here’s a quick rundown of things to keep you on track at your local sweatshop.

The treadmill, where most gym newbies are guided to in their introductory appraisal at the start of a new fitness regime, is, not to put too fine a point on it, boring as hell. Just trudging along, thirty-seven minutes and you finally see some activity on the LCD monitor as it flashes up under the calories lost marker: 002. Okay, that’s an exagerration, but because it is so laborious an exercise, most ‘athletes’ invest in a walkman set of earphones for their iPhone 4S to ease the tedium. Great to help pass the time – an absolute killer if you’re using your gym as a temporary alternative to your active dating platform.

Imagine, if your dating site profile had a great big palm facing outwards from it, saying: “Do not approach! Metallica playing!” How many people would wink you, then, eh?  Well that’s the message you’re sending out to any prospective partners by plugging both ears into your iPod.

And there’s an even more rock-solid reason why wearing earphones on a treadmill is a really bad idea if you’re into your corny, nostalgic disco and you do not want to put off finding a real life date at your gym coming up in the next article []