New study says you can fake your way to love

Act like you find someone attractive for long enough and you may just develop feelings for the person, according to a new research study, indicating that you might just be able to fake your way to love.

Researchers recently invited people to participate in an an experimental speed dating session to play specific psychological games in order to determine if doing so would enkindle amourous thoughts that weren’t originally present. Speed dating participants were asked to engage in the kinds of behaviour that was suspected of building emotional bonds, such as giving small gifts, sharing secrets, and maintaining eye contact during the event, and the results turned out to be startling.

The normal percentage of people who, after finishing a round of speed dating, wish to see one another once more, was found to be around 1 out of every five. However, the group of speed daters asked to employ the psychological tactics reported a success rate of more than double at 45 per cent.

Richard Wiseman, a psychology professor from the University of Hertfordshire, found the findings ‘remarkable’ in that two people who behaved as if there was an attraction between them developed an emotional attachment. Prof Wiseman compared it to the phenomenon of feeling happier from forcing a smile onto your face. The psychology professor said that while research in a similar vein has been carried out in a laboratory environment with students, this new ‘real world’ test is the first of its kind – and the first time where people actually looking for a love connection were used.

Prof Wiseman says that similar techniques could be employed to great effect, up to and including making two people who have never met before fall completely and maddeningly in love with one another.

Even people with disabilities deserve a chance at love

Life can be hard with someone with a disability, even more so because it can sometimes be hard to meet a potential romantic partner – but now there’s a new dating service exclusively for those Brits with disabilities.

Founded by mother and daughter team Angela Walford and Carly Mulholland, the new speed dating service is designed for people with physical disabilities such as blidness, deafness, or other physical ailments to meet people that have something in common. Angela, 44 years old and deaf herself, met her own partner at a local club for the deaf and blind in 2011, and the experience has prompted her daughter to aid others to find their own happiness as well.

The 20 year old Carly said that her mother’s career involves working with other people with disabilities as a carer. Having spent a lot of time with her mum going to and fro in order to help these disabled individuals, Carly found that one of their chief complaints was that they felt they would be forever alone; having grown up in such an environment with her own mother, the young woman had empathy and understanding for this particular dilemma facing people with disabilities, which drove her to organise the speed-dating event alongside her mother.

The special occasion will take place on 11 July, from 6.30pm until 8.30pm, at Monkey Bizzness Adventure Play, a play centre located in Eldon Way, Hockley, which is also Carly’s place of employment.  The young woman says it will be fitted to be wheelchair-friendly for the event and that the enquiries have been strong.

Best dating blog 2012 – shortlist has been published

The reason that there are so many dating sites, both existing and ones being created almost every week, is because of the diversity of human nature. It therefore stands to reason that those who spend time online dating, in order to get the best results, read about it whilst they’re between browsing dating site profiles. That’s where us writers come in, hopefully providing tasty tidbits to keep you amused whilst delivering invaluable advice gleaned from dating websites from around the globe.

There is even a competition for the best dating blog. It’s true. And the 2012 short list has been drawn up and you, avid single dater, can vote for which of these five you think is the best of the best.

In true Schofield-esque manner (minus the silver do), we announce this years finalists, in no particular order.

Checkmate magazine is a blog for the educated online dater (or perhaps that should be data, if we’re talking geek-speak); who else but the self-proclaimed intellectual would name their online presence after a game of chess? Relationships here have as much to do with two inanimate objects gravitational pull on each other as they do with finding your perfect partner online, but the science behind dating is lived out in all its glory by those who prefer figures in black and white, on paper or the chess board, perhaps to those behind the dating site’s galleria of beautiful boffins.

Next up is 31 dates in 31 days. No, not authored by ‘Loose Women’ as the title may suggest, but by Tamara Duricka Johnson, authoress of the book of the same title. Unique content traipses over ground the writer covered when she was still occupying the world of hopeful singles. The blog remains true to the core of the thirty-one day challenge. It makes you wonder what her now-husband thinks of this tawdry affair, now that she has indeed tied the knot. Still, the information contained therein remains extremely popular due to its relevance for the ever-hopeful single who hopes that, by getting through speed dating in this manner, it will help them reach their ‘Mr Right’ in as short a time as possible.

We’ll run through the other three finalists tomorrow. Voting for the candidate you see fit to carry off the best dating blog crown commenced on the 22nd of February and carries on until March 21st. Sadly, you won’t find our blog in the short list, this year, as we have only been live for such a short period; perhaps next year, we’ll be amongst the pick of the best dating literature on the Internet.

Aussie rules speed dating

Perth, Australia, not Scotland, has seen an unprecedented rise in speed dating gatherings, for all ages and backgrounds. To give the UK dating membership an insight into their protocol, here’s an overview of the down under view of speed dating, following on from our article, ‘Speed dating down under – well, to catch a kangaroo…’

Firstly, for many of these type of super speed dating gatherings, you have to register. It’s become that popular in Perth, that they hold sessions for different ages and varying experience, either gained or wanted. So, if you’re looking to date a farmhand in his early thirties, don’t turn up to a post-graduates event for the early twenties! Most speed dating centres do have an online dating presence, so book in advance for the event you want to attend.

Secondly, most speed dating hosts welcome you with a drop of the old amber nectar or Jacob’s Creek, just to settle you down – some even advertise the night as with ‘free-flowing champagne’, but not all serve alcohol. So if it’s essential, this Dutch courage, do have one before hand, but you do not want to approach anyone whilst you’re totally under the influence; here’s why:-

Once you get started, keep your objective in mind. Try to rehearse the questions in your head before you arrive and any possible answers to their questions that may be thrown your way by your target audience (a lot of the better speed dating organisations have a decent enough FAQ section to help you stand out from the crowd – well worth a peep to get the upper hand on the competition!). You may only have seven or ten minutes to make an impression and get the relevant information from the potential partner sitting opposite you – make every second count.

Once you have been through the field – not in the Biblical sense, mind, just the speed dating bit – do step back and think about it before you plunge in, but not too long! If there is only one beefcake or princess there, everyone will be gathering like flies around bees around honey. Try and pick out those who you may want to hone in on whilst you’re at the beverage stage, so that you can anticipate who’s left, enabling you to cut down the field as you approach the final one or two candidates.

This is why you must leave the beer goggles at home – everyone will seem fanciable after one too many and you’ll just go bounding from one to the next at the end, becoming more desperate after each rejection, putting off anyone who may be genuinely interested in dating you.

If your dating site doesn’t do it for you, or if you genuinely do not have the inclination to go speed dating, choose from our hand picked dating sites, to find your perfect partner in minutes.

Speed dating down under – well, to catch a kangaroo…

It’s great having an online dating relationship but, let’s face it, that’s getting you no actual action, whatsoever. There comes a time when you have to take that leap of faith and actually go and meet someone, especially if you’re paying a monthly subscription, otherwise, well, you may as well just donate that money to chastity charity.

In Australia, namely Perth, they seem to have this concept of dating sussed – the offline type, not the online. The city has seen an unprecedented rise in the number of speed dating events, recently, and they’re becoming ever more popular.

Typically of Australians, there’s no beating about the bush (the size of the Australian bush [hey, careful!], it’s no wonder]). If you’re sitting there looking at your online dating site but worried that you wouldn’t be able to support a conversation for a whole evening with any one of a whole number of singles who look as if they’re in your target bracket, based on age, income, background, education, etc., then why not try a speed dating event local to you?

You’re not expected to talk very long and if the person you’re interested in is just not into you, there’s no hanging about for days wondering if they’re ever going to get in touch via a private message or e-mail from your dating site. If they are, however, keen and you meet no one better and neither do they (than you, obviously, not themselves), then bingo, dingo! – you can be on your way before the clock strikes one and, at last, you can get that bit of dating action, which has been sorely missing from your life.

To give you an insight a little more about what an event like this entails, bearing in mind this is Australian rules – if you’ve ever watched Aussie rules football compared to the Premier League poseurs, you’ll know how vast a difference there is between us and our Antipodean cousins – we’ll give you an overview in our next article, ‘Aussie rules speed dating’.  So, keeping an open mind being very much the order of the day, we’ll see you there.

Light-speed dating

It’s Saturday night, your contacts have all been dialled, sent texts or e-mailed, and you’ve still not got a date for the evening. You’re about to get the metro home, when your mobile rings…
…not from one of your known contacts, but it’s your speed dating app buzzing you.

Instead of hitting the hay, within hours, you’re hitting the town with a brand new beau on your arm!

Okay, dating on a wing and a prayer will not be everyone’s cup of tea, for sure. Certainly, the more mature dating age groups, ot those looking for a more substantial relationship, may wish to analyse potential partners over a PC screen rather than over an iPhone or Android display. And, presumably, with a little more notice than ‘meet you in an hour’.

But that’s what the new app HowAboutWe can do for you. If you’re in the right place, at the right time, you could be meeting up with a brand new date in minutes, rather than having to wait for weeks, or even months, as is the norm with your standard internet-based dating service.

There are variations on the theme. You can download this app as a stand-alone dating service or, if you are an existing dating website member, you may find that the service to which you subscribe has started to integrate this service through their portal.

The app was originally designed to be a facility whereby people looking for love online could look to meet likeminded within the local vicinity, but using traditional dating site methods, such as filling in your profile, meeting people in chat rooms or forums, then posting private e-mails and waiting patiently for a response.

However, since the conversion of the app into an instant online date facility, its popularity has exploded, opening up a possible new niche for those looking to find love online sooner rather than later.  Theoretically, this type of service would appeal to those who have few commitments and can drop everything to get to a date literally as if ‘on call’. And those assumptions are reflected in the figures posted by the app hosts; those using the application most frequently tend to be in the 20-30 year old age group.

This has lead to some questionable press about the app being used by people who are perhaps only looking for one thing. And that’s not to discuss the amount of money spent in the Premiership or the latest offers in Selfridges.

However, as online security develops and apps are becoming available whereby you can check a potential date’s credentials against government records, or even criminal records, meeting via this app, whether as a stand alone download or through your registered dating site membership, it may, in the long run, prove to be a safer way to meet people than going out and trying to find a date off-the-cuff in your local town or city.