Don’t hang about on your dating site

There are many types of dating site offering to match you with your perfect partner. Some would like to charge you for their services, whereas others offer to pair you with prospective partners for free.

When you set out on the road to find a match online, how can you tell whether a dating site is going to fulfil your requirements? With limited time for busy professionals, who only just about have time to date online, let alone find a mate in the real world, time wasting is not an option. Likewise any consideration of wasting funds is also out of the question in this prolonged global economic turmoil, so how do you cut through the swathes to streamline your efforts?

According to one online relationship expert one of the most essential tests you can carry out before going through the entire process of fully completing your online dating profile is examine the profiles of your possible matches.

Many dating sites often entice you to ‘search your matches for free’, even if they charge a nominal fee for actually contacting anyone who catches your eye. In order for dating sites to attain respectability, it is important that they perform; they can have the coolest gadgets, most user-friendly interfaces and largest membership but that all counts for nothing if they cannot deliver its membership matches with whom they are likely to connect.

if at first you don’t succeed, quit

Assuming those criteria are adhered, it makes sense that the initial batches of prospective dates you’re exposed to are your closest matches, based on the scant information you have entered thus far. If there is no one in those first few visits to your new dating site, even after applying a few tweaks, with whom you envisage developing a relationship, then it is unlikely that the matchmaking facility and its membership database will suit you long term. Obviously, the more information you choose to enter, the more refined and appropriate your search results will be, improving the likelihood of suitable matches available.

The hypnotherapist come dating site aficionado adds a little further advice. Women should not instinctively reach for their credit card when joining a new dating site community; even though the site may state clearly that it has a paid membership, many sites offer their facilities to the fairer sex for free. Although this seems sexist, without this option, many adult dating sites especially would be over-subscribed with men and would soon cease to provide a viable service.

The imbalance would see numbers dwindle and, in a catch 22 situation, would soon spiral until new members stopped signing up altogether.

Online dating – the after work quickie

As we recently reported, the days of the official ‘first date’ being a long, drawn out affair are in decline. The quick lunchtime date is growing in popularity as online dating members already know much about their prospective partner from their profile.

However, with no set times for lunch in the business world, a midday meeting can be impractical. There is a happy medium, however – somewhere between an all-out date and the lightning liaison of a lunchtime quickie – the after-work date.

The absolute best thing about a date after work, no matter what you have planned afterwards, you have the perfect opportunity to chill and have a beer or wine before you move on. You have to meet somewhere and it is worth researching a bar beforehand (oh, the hardship) that will set the tone for the evening. Stay away from dowdy ‘old men’s’ bars or those that, although cheaper, may attract characters who have wiled away the day there – you want to start out on a positive note.

The one good thing about meeting in a bar – if you are absolutely convinced the date is going to be a washout – there is no better place to make an absolute spectacle of yourself to put your date off forever!

if the drinks have gone splendidly, what next?

Both sports fans? Why not take in a game? Either go to one locally or head off to the sports bar to watch it, live. If conversation is short, as can be the first time you hook up with someone from your dating site, the game itself will throw up plenty to talk about.

If you’re nearby a city or large town, galleries and art museums often stay open until the early evening; use this to judge how culturally alike you are.

Shopping malls also stay open until late. An insight to fashion sense, shopping tolerance and how interested your partner is in your tastes will come to the fore. Most malls often have bars attached or are on commercial centres with restaurants to hand if you fancy extending the date into a meal.

A wonder around the park at twilight, with woods as a backdrop to the suns last hurrahs, can be a memory-making end to a first date.

And, as we approach Christmas, the many Bavarian and winter markets that descend from Europe can provide plenty to aid the conversation, and provide a snack and a drink as you’re huddled together with your hat and scarf as the chill bites as day turns to night with the seasonal setting bringing romance to within touching distance, if the mulled wine takes effect.

So, there we have plenty of options for your first brief encounter, bringing your online dating partner into your world, for just a glimpse of what’s to come.

Better make it a quickie

Tradition states that the first date is something a bit special, out of the ordinary and an event for which hours of planning and deliberation must be attributed to create that all-important first impression. But, then again, history dictates that meeting someone from an online dating community is a perilous notion (I can just see the Cholmondey-Warner documentary playing out now), but how that has changed in recent times.

The en vogue way to meet up with a prospective partner, especially if utilising a location-friendly application, is by fitting the first date into your lunchtime break.

The ideology of a bouquet of flowers, extravagant setting and pricey meal have all been trashed in favour of a mocha-latte, a sizzler or a friendly little tapas bar, depending upon the amenities close to your work-place. How as this transition happened?

Social media and online dating sites, whereby your profile is visible to those whom you permit to access it, help with a lot of the initial groundwork. Whereas, in the past, that first date was all about getting to know your fellow single, you already have an insight into what makes them tick.

Some dating site profile questionnaires, especially those dedicated to ‘matchmaking’ based on the criteria you enter, that  which forms your personality and what you are looking for in a possible mate, long- or short-term, ascertain more information about you than anyone from those bygone days would ever dream of asking on the initial meeting, wherever it was held.

Theoretically, you are already a comparable match and time-consuming fillers, such as asking about occupations, interests and hobbies, have already been gleaned from the dating website. Any prospective partner worth their salt should already have read, understood and digested this information about you to allow focus on the date itself.

The added bonus, of course, about dating in your lunchtime, is that there is a the reduced opportunity to lead to embarrassing situations at the end. Okay, if you feel a peck on the cheek appropriate or exchanging of contact details other than those to get you together initially, you may feel put on the spot before you head off back to the office.

But if your date has not gone as well as expected, you do not have to make any excuses whatsoever about moving on to somewhere else or coming in for a coffee or getting home if you’re abandoned in the middle of nowhere late at night. Your date knows you have to head back to work and that’s the end of it.

Lunchtime dates may not offer the glitz of The Ritz, but you can see why this slightly one better than speed-dating option is growing in popularity amongst the online dating crowd.