Dating site figures get more impressive each time you log on

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been online dating, but a report will come out and the figures will simply astound you. When you see a snippet of a suggestion that one dating site alludes to and then hear another report about the latest influx of new members from another, you can get so used to seeing and hearing about how popular looking for love online has become, that the numbers simply pass you by.

Then one report, or rather article, pops up in your feeds and all of a sudden you have three snippets making up the basis of said article and you suddenly start to realise the volume that goes into creating a $2.1bn industry like online dating has become. As if that’s not a scary enough figure on its own, this recent report suggests an increase of 7% on that figure this year alone!?!? When will it ever stop?

In today’s two articles we’ll analyse those figures, look at how accurate they are and, with reference to claims made by some dating sites, see if there is actually any credibility in their claims that the algorithms they use to pair couples in the first instance do actually count for anything or rather, as one recent scientific research has suggested, are random and that, given so many people being in one boat, the law of averages would couple as many people as the dating sites claim that their algorithms do.

Do dating site questionnaires just pay lip service to the marketing?

And that’s as good a place as any to start. One of the single, biggest online dating sites is eHarmony. They are a matchmaking site and they ask a lot of questions to get to the bottom of a person’s psyche. But are all those questions just paying lip service to the marketing that has a single sold on the idea that they will meet the spouse they’ve been looking for, it’s just that the eHarmony marketing team have positioned themselves to make that lovelorn single one half of the 542 marriages per day the dating site claims to be responsible for in the US?

According to one single who became one of the success statistics, she responded to over 1,000 questions in order to meet the match of her dreams, which she thought acceptable. The man she married dated her for nine months after they met up on the site – my guess is it would have been sooner if he hadn’t had to respond to so many queries. No wonder they won’t reveal their algorithms if they incorporate that many logical yes, no and if gates – you’d need somewhere the size of Wembley to lay the flowchart out…[read more]

Those three little words – i Pad 2

Would you Adam and Eve it, but there’s a dating site app been launched by Cupidtino purely for Apple device owners. That’s right – any other Smartphone users are going to be left out in the wilderness east of Eden this Valentine’s Day as prospective members cannot even sign up unless they have a device that supports the ‘beautiful hardware and software designs‘ associated with the Mac name.

There is something not quite right resounding from the pages of the site as the only real love affair going on (so far as Blackberry or Android users are concerned) is the one the web’s creators have with the legacy left by the late, great Steve Jobs.

Almost anyone who’s reading this will have, at some point, browsed a matchmaking site, heck probably even signed up for one or two of the dating sites that match you and a potential partner on the grounds of career, lifestyle choice, goals, ambitions or what you want from your next relationship.

To qualify as the most sought after single on Cupidtino, however, you are matched and rated on ‘Appleness’. Must be something to do with the dual core on the iPhone 4S, I guess. It’s absolutely true.

In place of the usual questions that would perhaps prompt a new dating sign up for their favourite band, hottest A-list star, football team or career ambition, this dating site asks its membership their favourite iTunes playlist or what’s queuing up in their Netflix. Even the name of the dating site is derived from Cupertino, Apples HQ in CA and that little rogue cupid.

There are fetish dating sites for rubber, feet (should have put ‘sole’, there really, would have fit nicely in with the Apple theme; ne’er mind), sadomasochism and dominatrices – those you can perhaps understand. But for the love of hard- and software? Must be some form of BASIC instinct.

Well, if you’re tempted by the Apple-only dating site, please, give it a go. Let us know if, as the sign up stage states, it is for people who have better taste. On second thoughts, the thought of some sending me a Valentine’s Day card with iLoveU on it? Maybe not.

Truckloads of men learning how to pick up

Online dating can be a daunting place when you have never done it before. It is one of the most competitive marketplaces online, with millions of new users signing up every month, in all the different variants, in many, many countries. How do you make yourself stand out in the crowd, in the face of possibly millions of other men competing for the same woman?

For a start, that is highly unlikely to happen. Especially on matchmaking sites, where you are aligned with other singles looking for love online based on information you have input about yourself in your dating site profile. Many members stretch the truth about themselves, but there is a degree of enhancing your image that is tolerated, expected even, in the world of online dating.

Despite the volumes of potential partners online, many men still struggle to land that first date. It can be a frustrating time, especially if you are paying for the privilege of being turned down and not just trying your luck on a free dating site. There is help at hand, however. As well as a multitude of (hopefully) helpful articles posted here, there is a new breed of dating site springing up online designed to give men the upper hand when setting out on that tortuos, and torturous, road of finding that elusive long-term relationship on your chosen dating site(s).

One of the rising stars in this genre, featured recently as part of a BBC article looking at how diverse the £2bn a year online dating industry has become, is the site Pick Up Artist Training. Although based in the US, it has ‘boot camps’ on both sides of the pond to help us limey’s new to UK dating approach, talk to and secure a date from women both off- and online.

First look at the site and it would appear to be like the title suggests, a pick-up site. But it is a little more subtle, especially when you start reading the blog.

Richard La Ruina, aka The Gambler, explained to the BBC earlier in the year that not everyone who attends the bootcamp is looking to make conquests of every woman they meet. Rather, many men genuinely struggle to find a comfort zone when attempting to approach a desired member of the opposite sex and the intensive course helps men who “…want to just meet the right person”.

The boot camps are run regularly, once or twice a month, in the UK.  If you’ve got £779* spare and would like expert advise on how to pick up women, then perhaps this is the course you’ve been looking for.
*price correct as at time of writing

Dystopian dating sites being analysed – two

To conclude our who’s who of contributors to the studies we’re looking at over the next couple of days to determine how the scientists are collating our dating site information to try and get a fresh handle on love is Helen Fisher PhD. An authority on human nature, specifically regarding the differences between men and women and the cranial rope they use in the tug-of-war of love, she has taken her knowledge further to create one of the most successful matchmaking sites on the web,

One of the most difficult concepts that these voyeurs of human nature failed to get their heads around is why, when the average dating sitee may be paying a substantial monthly subscription fee to attract Mr or Mrs Right, would they then lie about their own personality and risk potentially attracting someone less suited to their true nature?

The whole point of a ‘matchmaking’ site is to take your specific details and match them with an appropriate other using the information they have input to make a couple. If both halves of the same couple stretch their particulars too far, it is likely that the pairing will find no common ground, so why do it?

what gave me away, your honour?

But many, many do, so much so that the Big Brother scientists have determined patterns about both sexes propensities to fib.

Women stretched the truth about their weight by stripping a considerable eight and a half pounds off their online dating self – if they could bottle that formula and bring it into the real world they’d be millionaires overnight! Men were a lot more realistic, only setting the bar two pounds below what they truly weighed in at. They did, however, make up for that by adding on a half inch to their height (yes, height – only adult dating sites may ask for that much detail) to their online dating persona in an attempt to make them appear more burly.

Surprisingly, most singles who took part, either anonymously or having volunteered their information, were straight up about their age. The photos the dating site members used though weren’t so on the mark, with many women choosing to use an image that was approximately eighteen months old and men proffering a six-month’s younger portrayal of themselves.

The conclusion made by the researchers was that many of those looking for love online are not deliberately trying to mislead potential partners with the media they use, but want to coax other dating hopefuls to them who they believe will see them as their target market.

Well, there is some bull involved if that’s your aim, but surely it’s the bull’s-eye you should have in your sights.

UK singles represent different target market for dating site

The tenth most visited dating site in the UK, boasting 120,000 visitors in September alone, has intentions to boost those volumes by taking a different approach to their view of the potential online dating UK audience.

Being only just in the top ten, according to information gathering organisation comScore, perhaps does the matchmaking site an injustice, as the chart ranks both paid and free dating sites together. However, they do still have a way to go to catch up with their nearest ‘paid-for’ membership site rival who, in comparison, attracted 698,000 from their group of dating websites.

But that is not their concern; figures may look good on paper, but they are not judging their own performance on that statistic.

The UK singles market is a different proposition to its US counterpart, where this dating site’s motto has grown from their ‘conversion rate’, whereby they claim to be responsible for “5% of all new marriages,” in Northern America.

But that is not going to be their driver when looking how to best service the UK singles market. The mission is not about simply getting people together to make their advertising look good, although the UK manager does state ‘the faster people leave the site, the happier I am’, but rather the plan is getting people together who are going to stay together in a long-term relationship by focusing on what makes them ‘really tick’.

bringing in the experts to connect on all levels

In order to make the UK dating dream a reality, i.e. getting couples together whose profiles suggest that they possess ‘twice as much likelihood to stay together’, the company have hired a specialist marketing organisation who ‘know how to connect different points of view in a competitive marketplace.’

The PR company, who will be looking after the dating site’s Australian interest, too, also look after the brand recognition of globally recognised icons Nintendo and Costa. If that is not pedigree enough, they recently won Marketing Week Engage Awards’ agency of the year award, to compound their market-leader status.

The drive to enamour itself with the UK dating market will also include monitoring and improving the mechanics and interactive capabilities for ‘who’s and ‘how’s of the dating site membership, specifically how singles use the facilities.

As well as the components that the members are used to, there are already ongoing tests to bring the site from a static web-page into the hands of mobile users, incorporating payment checkouts, web-chat using cam technology and location-based apps to literally date on the go.

So, let’s hope the integration of all of these components is swift, seamless and harmonious, for the long-term relationships of British singles, everywhere.

From Russia, with love?

Whether they want to escape the minus thirty temperatures and below that hit the former Union of Soviet Socialist Republics every year or these stunning Russian singles are genuinely on the lookout for a Westernised gentleman, there’s no escaping the fact thirty online dating beauties intend to flit the country after showcasing themselves in’s Snow Angel beauty pageant. The dating site members who cast a vote get to chat online with their chosen beauty as well as seeing if their nominee wins first prize.

The competition, that began running Mid-November and will go on until Christmas, gives you the opportunity to vote for your favourite, hand-picked dating site stunner as soon as you arrive on the landing page, There are three hopefuls per page and you choose your favourite of the three until you have filtered through all ten pages. Alternatively, the dating website gives you the option to see a thumbnail of all thirty contestants on one page.

In the run up to the yuletide festivities the matchmaking site has duly obliged by having all of the dating site hopefuls dress up in winter finery, with professional make-overs, to boot. If the temperatures do drop as far as some of the necklines, they really do want to be putting more clothes on than they have on in the thumbnails or face catching their death of cold.

are you prepared to go all the way on your dating site?

Due to the fact that, as soon as you click on ‘see full profile’ you are prompted for lots more information about yourself, and a little slide up live chat facility presents itself with the caption, next to a blonde-haired beauty’s photo, ‘never married, fair-haired gray eyed’, I would no sooner enter my credit card details than would I place my naked genitalia into the mouth of a circus lion.

Maybe that’s just me, but the women looked just a bit too perfectly contrived, too similarly bedecked in (lack of) winter casual wear of the same brand and all presented with too professionally-shot dating site profile photos against the backdrop of the same studio set for all of the shots to make the ‘pageant’ believable.

There is, purportedly, the facility to share a live one-to-one web-cam chat and enter into translated e-mail correspondence with any of the women on the dating site; to enjoy this experience, however, you have to enter details that, unless you are serious about using the facility that the ‘Introduction and Romance Tour Company’ adult dating site has to offer (and I have no doubt that those services, should you accept an invite to take the tour, would be extremely adult in nature), you would otherwise keep to yourself.

Nevertheless, if you fancy traversing the Iron Curtain to vote for your favourite and see them sit at the top of the beauty contest Christmas tree next month, please carry on to the site and Putin your details on the forms provided.

philandering fireman falls foul following fat fetish friendship

Talk about giving it large! Matt Kemp, a feisty fireman based in Chelmsford, cannot get enough of the larger ladies and was planning to marry one of the two he met on a dating site – until they found out about each other, that is.
No Battle of the Titans ensued; rather, the two largesse ladies became chubby chums after the wedding was cancelled, both freezing out the unfortunate fire-fighter.

25 year-old Amanda Hart, a mere twenty stone, compared to Matt’s twenty-two stone ‘bit’ on the side, 33 year-old Michelle Flack, truly thought that the fireman was the one, after he picked her out from other dating site profiles on matchmaking site Smooch. Amanda was under the impression that he did not mind the fact that she was so overweight, going on to say that she was even made to feel good about her excess poundage.

That was at the outset of the relationship; now, in hindsight, Amanda can see that Kemp, after making promises that she was the only one for him, can see that he only used her weight to control her. A similar promise was made to Michelle, as he told her he had no interest in slimmer girls and he like girls ‘the bigger, the better.’

It wasn’t like that after Matt and Amanda first met on the matchmaking site, though. Soon after meeting up and dating off-screen, Amanda moved Fleck in and they would cuddle and share pizza and one thing led to another and the wedding was being planned. They even went to visit the venue they had chosen to hold the reception.

However, unbeknown to the hopeful fiancée Amanda, Matt was already seeing Michelle. She is equally as reticent about the whole affair, as she was getting over a divorce when Matt approached her on the online dating pages. Making the excuse that he was working away in Chelmsford, the fireman would see her, but kept his engagement to Amanda secret.

It was only when Amanda turned up at the station to pick up Matt from one of his shifts that he was spotted with the larger of his two alternating dates, Michelle. The inevitable then happened – as Matt got into Amanda’s car, Michelle followed him and the whole plot unravelled; his fiancée said “I saw him with this other woman. A big woman – at least my size. My stomach churned.”

Following this earth-shattering event, the wedding was off and Matt was out and the two ladies have become friends, with the memory of their online dating nightmare merely a ghost from their joint past.

Online daters warned against transmitted infection

Back in the mists of time, when the internet was something you could only access by sacrificing your phone using a dial-up connection, if you visited the dating sites as they were then, you never knew what little infection you’d be picking up and delivering to your hard-drive via the land-line.

How times have changed.

In Nova Scotia, Public Health officials are using online dating facilities as a medium to warn people of sexually transmitted disease, specifically syphilis.

Halifax, the one that is capital and 5,500 km2 of East Coast Nova Scotia, not the one in Calderdale, West Yorkshire, has reported 28 cases of syphilis so far this year. The infection which, if left untreated, can lead to permanent damage of vital organs.

Following investigations, the source of the disease has been traced back to an online dating site, in many of the instances of the outbreak. Hence the urgency in putting together a matchmaking site advertising campaign that will encourage the men to get tested if they show symptoms and to warn women to take extra precautions if meeting for nothing more than a casual, one-off relationship using the dating site membership.

One meeting may be all it takes, as transmittal can occur through oral, anal or straight-forward biblical sex.

a one-off date is sometimes enough

As there are no signs of the cases declining, the Public health department are highlighting the symptoms:-
• unexpected hair loss,
• nasty little rash,
• glandular swelling (throat), or
• rheumatism-like aching of the muscles and/or joints

However, these symptoms, unlike the bug that used to infect your hard-drive, can disappear of their own volition, leaving the victim under the impression that the disease has gone. Your body has only dealt with the external signs, though; the root cause of the problem still lies hidden and will remain beneath to attack the heart and brain, if not treated with antibiotics.

After trying other, more recognised, methods to promote awareness of the condition, the Public Health department no longer ‘believe [their] traditional methods are going to work’ and that using dating sites, where the target market gather by choice, is perhaps the best hope of spreading the word about syphilis.

As a ‘challenging type of outbreak to manage’ and the sexual behaviour that leads up to its transmission, the health department are hoping that dating site members get the message before the disease goes viral.

Dating males produce more than singles

According to a recent dating site survey, being in a settled, happy relationship has a more positive effect on productivity at work for men than it does for women. Almost two thirds of the male dating site members who participated in the poll believed that there bosses got more for the pound when they were seeing someone than when left to their own devices.

Women will, of course, claim that this all down to their positive influence. And there may well be an element of truth in that statement.

When you move from the vibrant, but sometimes lonely, singles world and become one half of a couple, after a while you do start taking on responsibility for your partner, as well as looking out for yourself.

This, for men at least, transfers into the office as they knuckle down to their tasks with more purpose, upping their output. Psychologists point to the fact that once the male of the species takes on a mate, a basic instinct kicks in and they become the hunter/gatherer, as did our ancestors 65,000 years ago.

There is, perhaps, a remnant of this instinct nudging the psyche of those males who took part in the matchmaking site’s survey. True or not, you can bet that their employer’s are not complaining.

There are always the naysayers, and this argument also draws opinion from opponents to that theory, who reflect on the simple differences between the single and coupled male. Compared with a single guy’s lifestyle, the habits of men in relationships become more sedentary as that pairing developments.

Gone are the Saturday afternoons (that would oft stretch into nights) with the other Neanderthals in the local bar. And instead of staying up until 3 or 4am checking out the ‘talent’ on their dating site they’re tucked up in bed, safe and warm with their partner, long before the dawn chorus even starts exercising it vocals.

So, yes; indirectly, the effect of women in a relationship does have a positive effect on the man in as much as that rip-roaring socialite is shelved, making way for the more responsible male.

In contrast, only slightly more than a half of the women who took part in the same online dating poll reflected that their productivity increased when they became embroiled with a member of the opposite sex.

Perhaps finding ways to keep that male monster safely in its jar, out of reach up with the bookends, is far more interesting than any spreadsheet or sales report could ever be. Either way, men or IT, women know how easy they are to fix by turning them off, then turning them back on again.

‘Net’s net nett dating effect – part one

how one dating website is dealing with scammers

With the ever growing numbers of dating site members, not to mention the amount of actual matchmaking sites out there in cyber space these days, it is good to know that at least some of the more proficient ones have their singles’ best interests at heart.

With volumes of lonely hearts flooding dating websites across the internet, like the scent of blood to sharks, so the pariahs follow for their pound of flesh. Scamming is the pestilence that is the Achilles heel of the internet dating scene; no matter how genuinely hard some of the more prominent personals sites work to keep out this nuisance, there always seem to be take to take every successful bad apple’s place.

But, realistically, what can the administration of dating websites do to protect its trusting members from being, in a crass term, ripped-off beyond belief, by imposters who play on others low self-esteem and gullibility. Don’t be fooled – they can be difficult to spot; these fraudsters have been trained by the best and can pick out a weakness in even the most fortified of dating profiles.

As we have reported on countless occasions, here on, there are ways in which the ever-approachable dating site member can arm ourselves without becoming too abrupt. But it’s good to see support from the webmasters of dating sites, platforms upon which we not only open up our hearts but also, seemingly, all too often our purses, too.

Okay, you accept that on a free dating site, where the revenue from sponsorship and advertising is the nett capital income of the company behind the web page, that admin and security are going to be minimal. But we all feel, especially in cash-strapped UK, dating sites that we contribute a monthly or quarterly membership fee to should not just leave it to us to filter out the phishes, but they should get their hands dirty, too.

Thankfully, one such dating website has done just that and perhaps is a yardstick that other such adult contact sites should measure themselves by.

To look further into the measures they are taking to protect you, proceed to part two…

Money no object for online romancers

Dating sites defy economic trends

With cut-backs and the tightening of budgets so prominent, you would expect luxuries to be the first thing to go. Accepting this to be true, it would appear that dating websites are considered a necessity, as membership numbers, even for paid dating sites, continue to rise.

This has been helped by an insurgence of members from mature dating singles, whose numbers have risen by almost 40% in the last two years.  Although, with the positive effect of social media has had on the UK dating scene, many younger individuals are so used to speaking to new friends and contacts over the cyberspace platform, that the step up to a matchmaking site is hardly noticeable.

One of the main reasons for the increase in individuals looking to dating websites for potential love interests is that, although there may be what is considered an expensive monthly subscription, it is ostensibly cheaper to pay that fee once a quarter than going out a few nights a week to bars and clubs where you have no guarantee that there will be any like-minded singles awaiting your arrival.

At least, when you log on to your dating site, you are guaranteed to be in a virtual room where other romantics looking for love on line. You have also skated around the headache of ironing a fresh top, a quick shave or wax and bolting down your tea after a long, hard slog at work to make it to your nearest pulling hotspot.

There is no reason why you can’t turn your dating site night in into a night on the town from within your own room.

After a while, you will have built up a database of several contacts who you know will be gracing the chatrooms and forums with regularity.  On those nights, what is stopping you filling your fridge with a few beers or a bottle of wine, get some snacks in, even get a mate around and make like you’re in a bar as you chat to potential online partners.

At least, with access to the dating site profiles before you initiate contact, hours of diatribe spent chatting up your target can be saved, and possibly several rounds of over-priced drinks, too.

Try not to go overboard with the alcohol, though. You do not want to get inebriated and find that you have proposed to seventeen other members of your dating site with the adrenilin-surge that dutch courage instigates.

Dating this way, if you are sensible and pragmatic about it, you really can narrow down your search for a long-term relationship. Or, if you’re not looking for lasting love, just someone local who you can have a mutual off-screen relationship with, without the headache of having to trapse bar upon bar to find them. The money you save on the hunt can be put towards an extra-special ‘first date’.

Sittin’ in the dock of e-bay

Stretching dating site truths could earn you a stretch

Social media, dating sites, online auctions – all of these internet-based platforms require you to have a ‘user-name’. All also have ‘terms of service’, which you must agree to abide before you can complete your membership.

But does anyone signing up to join online dating communities, in particular, actually read these rules and regulations? Given the bill that The White House is attempting to force through, now may be a good time to print off a copy of your matchmaking guidelines as, by not adhering to them, you could very soon be breaking the law, with the penalty quite possibly culminating in a custodial sentence.

But Obama’s party are pushing to make these lengthy transcripts, which are largely ignored by the majority of singles looking for love online, legally binding. So how is this especially bad for dating websites?

If you care to open your dating site’s terms and conditions, scroll through them as you did when you signed up, but this time stop at the key phrase applicable to this bill, which will read something like: “by accepting the terms of service of [x dating site], you agree not to provide inaccurate, misleading or false information.”

How this is going to be policed, and how any subsequent prosecutions are going to prioritised, we are yet to see. Certainly, the catalyst for this move to increase the scope of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act was the unsuccessful prosecution of evil mom Lori Drew. Her constant diatribe, under an assumed name, against a 13-yr old who went on to kill herself as a result was unable to be brought to trial under a criminal act and also failed to secure a conviction for violating MySpace’s terms of service under restricting impersonation, although they clearly did.

Many people who communicate, do business or provide relevant information for others across these mediums share the same name. There must be thousands of people across the globe who, by not being able to submit their real name as their dating site identity (as it will not be unique) will be breaking this law the moment they sign up under a pseudonym. Whether the name they choose instead of their own duplicates another’s is intentional or not, they may be risking prosecution from the outset.

How disastrous would it be if all of the John Smith’s were instructed to use their real name as their user id on their matchmaking site, with only their password the differentiate, for someone to subsequently arrange a date with the wrong John Smith!?

This passes the burden of responsibility onto the dating site involved and what they authorise as permissible on their platform. If they relax their terms to a degree which allows some deviation, then the gates are re-opened for impersonators, once more.

This surely calls for apps like the app, which draws upon government records for verification, to be part and parcel of the sign up process for dating websites across the globe. Job done.

Dating sites insight to true romance

what does your online dating profile say about you?

According to research by scientists at facebook, of all places, dating sites are invaluable resources for gathering ‘true to life’ data, which is otherwise undocumented.

The researchers have used a selection of the larger dating sites to collate information to study aspects of our personalities that relate to the triggers that fire us up for romance. Other than census information, there are few other places such motivators can be assessed, so almost 600 million dating site hits in one month is a huge pool of data from which to draw specimens to examine.

From the answers provided by the analysis of the matchmaking sites involved, the National Science Foundation funded survey are looking to find the answer to the question that has confounded scientists, romantics and philosophers for centuries: why do we fall in love?

There were several key areas examined to determine what makes online daters tick. The categories were chosen specifically to provide insight into what motivators encourage an initial response, positive or negative, and how relationships either blossomed or fizzled out thereafter.

Amongst many of the other results that the number-crunches have uncovered were traits indicating preferences shown by large sectors of the dating site community towards ‘like’ sectors. It seems that, if the same question is asked by one single to another of similar political or race backgrounds, their answer will be much more positive than to others on the dating site from opposing sectors.

One of the more humorous discoveries, although the individual dating site members may not see the funny side, is that a lot of people would rather admit to being fat than admitting their political preference.

It is unlikely that the members will ever know that they have contributed to the research. This is not so much an invasion of privacy as that statement suggests.

Of the 1,000,000 profiles used for dissecting, which is why the grant from the N.S.F. was so necessary, some of them were dating site members who volunteered their information, but many were incognito profiles donated by the matchmaking and singles sites who agreed to take part in the information-gathering part of the program.

In tomorrow’s part two of this report, we will look at truths, lies and deceit and how the scientists learned to decide between the two. Also interesting are the figures relating to sexual preference and the percentages of each category who meet via an online dating facility.

And there is also a lot more bigotry unveiled than you would perhaps expect in these more enlightened times.

So, I’m just off to politically-correct my profile, before Big Brother frog-marches me off to the lab for further diagnosis…

Dating Site Dilemma…part two

Not only is it key, when using an online dating facility, to know what you’re looking for in a partner, it is essential that the ‘matchmaking’ site(s) of your choice actually can do just that: matchmake.

As you set out on the long, arduous journey of finding that special one online you will have to face enough tough decisions, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, without the headache or time-consuming necessity of having to fill in your profile across the myriad sites on the internet purporting to deliver your life-long partner in just a few clicks.

Believe that last statement at your peril, by the way. Yes, you can get your profile up and running by using the method we’re going to look at in …part three, and you probably could get a date on your first visit to your new dating site.

But, as we touched on in yesterday’s article, funnily enough entitled Dating site dilemma…part one (you’d never have guessed, would you?), putting in the groundwork to build a systematic approach to each and every dating site you encounter will not only help you maximise swift access to prospective partners awaiting you on the menu, but also help you recognise, pretty much instantly, whether the site is going to deliver you results.

Take this very site, for instance. At present, we are merely your toe-hold into groundbreaking news and events relative to helping you have as much success, and fun!, whilst looking for love online.

However, as and when this site is officially launched, it will serve a much greater purpose. In the background, the ‘tech-guys’ are performing all manner of research, based on market information, algorithms, trends and new applications (oh, it’s so above my head it’s got snow on it; alas, I am only the writer), will bring you the best dating sites, based on those equations. But in order for those results to be relevant, they have to be measured.

Looking for your soul-mate, your intended, or even just a shoulder to cry on should receive its due care and attention on your part, if you are to achieve whatever target you set yourself.

However, until such time has passed whereby we can absolutely guarantee you that selection of the top online dating pages every time you load our site (which will be soon, promise), here we go with a simple, classic Blue Peter-style How-to-work-your-dating-site guide, in Dating site dilemma…part three

Dating site dilemma…part three

Welcome back to the final piece of the jigsaw, which will hopefuly help you find an online dating partner with the least amount of fuss and greatest amount of efficiency, whenever the fancy takes you to go looking for love online.

One of the avantages of browsing technology that has helped us to navigate more swiftly than in days of yore is the ‘auto-fill’ option. As most dating sites require you to fill in similar information, do take the time before you start searching for love online to fill in this ‘under-the-hood’ tool with up-to-date information; your personals will be dangling before prospects in no time.

Do, however, take note of adult dating sites asking for credit-card details and the related implications, especially when registering for free dating sites.

Done? Okay, back to you browser, your window to a whole array of internet dating sites.

Next, we are going to create a new folder on your ‘bookmarks’ ribbon to keep tabs on your favourite dating sites. If you’re not sure how, here are links to four of the provider’s instructions on how to bookmark using their service:

Do that for this series, first, so you always have your how-to guide to hand, and then you can start ‘bookmarking’ your favourite dating sites, and keep adding them to the same folder.

If you are a little more technically gifted, you can also create a stack in ‘delicious’, where you can group all of your personals sites, write your own tags and comment on each one; even share them with fellow ‘web-site collectors’, if you so desire.

Another good tactic is to have your ‘other information’ typed (and saved!) on a document so you can simply copy and paste that detail once you complete the more specific areas of your online dating profile. If you take the time to do this ‘off-line’, you can hone, polish and tweak it, whether you have access to the internet, or not. Then just upload the details, next time you’re logged on.

Talking of tweaking – if, like me, you’re in between life stages, you may want to change certain snippets of your dating profile to target a particular dating community. If I was registering on a 40+ site (for seniors, allegedly), the fact that I go surfing may not win as many admirers as my penchant for writing; on a 20’s+ site, I may choose to reverse the tactic.

And the final stage is scoring (isn’t that what we set out to do [ooh-er!]?).

This applies to both your potential partner and the dating websites you’re assessing.  For this, create your own scale, using the key aspects that you look for in a dating community or website; this could be:

  • forum/chatroom availability/response
  • web-cam
  • paid upgrades
  • age-sensitive zones
  • feedback, updates and other correspondence

Then, prioritise those aspects and score each website, accordingly.  This will provide you with a very accurate ‘report’ of how good each dating site is.  Match that with your perfect partner profile from …part one and the know-how from …part two and you really are ready to go!