Dating sites insight to true romance

what does your online dating profile say about you?

According to research by scientists at facebook, of all places, dating sites are invaluable resources for gathering ‘true to life’ data, which is otherwise undocumented.

The researchers have used a selection of the larger dating sites to collate information to study aspects of our personalities that relate to the triggers that fire us up for romance. Other than census information, there are few other places such motivators can be assessed, so almost 600 million dating site hits in one month is a huge pool of data from which to draw specimens to examine.

From the answers provided by the analysis of the matchmaking sites involved, the National Science Foundation funded survey are looking to find the answer to the question that has confounded scientists, romantics and philosophers for centuries: why do we fall in love?

There were several key areas examined to determine what makes online daters tick. The categories were chosen specifically to provide insight into what motivators encourage an initial response, positive or negative, and how relationships either blossomed or fizzled out thereafter.

Amongst many of the other results that the number-crunches have uncovered were traits indicating preferences shown by large sectors of the dating site community towards ‘like’ sectors. It seems that, if the same question is asked by one single to another of similar political or race backgrounds, their answer will be much more positive than to others on the dating site from opposing sectors.

One of the more humorous discoveries, although the individual dating site members may not see the funny side, is that a lot of people would rather admit to being fat than admitting their political preference.

It is unlikely that the members will ever know that they have contributed to the research. This is not so much an invasion of privacy as that statement suggests.

Of the 1,000,000 profiles used for dissecting, which is why the grant from the N.S.F. was so necessary, some of them were dating site members who volunteered their information, but many were incognito profiles donated by the matchmaking and singles sites who agreed to take part in the information-gathering part of the program.

In tomorrow’s part two of this report, we will look at truths, lies and deceit and how the scientists learned to decide between the two. Also interesting are the figures relating to sexual preference and the percentages of each category who meet via an online dating facility.

And there is also a lot more bigotry unveiled than you would perhaps expect in these more enlightened times.

So, I’m just off to politically-correct my profile, before Big Brother frog-marches me off to the lab for further diagnosis…

Dating Site Dilemma…part two

Not only is it key, when using an online dating facility, to know what you’re looking for in a partner, it is essential that the ‘matchmaking’ site(s) of your choice actually can do just that: matchmake.

As you set out on the long, arduous journey of finding that special one online you will have to face enough tough decisions, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, without the headache or time-consuming necessity of having to fill in your profile across the myriad sites on the internet purporting to deliver your life-long partner in just a few clicks.

Believe that last statement at your peril, by the way. Yes, you can get your profile up and running by using the method we’re going to look at in …part three, and you probably could get a date on your first visit to your new dating site.

But, as we touched on in yesterday’s article, funnily enough entitled Dating site dilemma…part one (you’d never have guessed, would you?), putting in the groundwork to build a systematic approach to each and every dating site you encounter will not only help you maximise swift access to prospective partners awaiting you on the menu, but also help you recognise, pretty much instantly, whether the site is going to deliver you results.

Take this very site, for instance. At present, we are merely your toe-hold into groundbreaking news and events relative to helping you have as much success, and fun!, whilst looking for love online.

However, as and when this site is officially launched, it will serve a much greater purpose. In the background, the ‘tech-guys’ are performing all manner of research, based on market information, algorithms, trends and new applications (oh, it’s so above my head it’s got snow on it; alas, I am only the writer), will bring you the best dating sites, based on those equations. But in order for those results to be relevant, they have to be measured.

Looking for your soul-mate, your intended, or even just a shoulder to cry on should receive its due care and attention on your part, if you are to achieve whatever target you set yourself.

However, until such time has passed whereby we can absolutely guarantee you that selection of the top online dating pages every time you load our site (which will be soon, promise), here we go with a simple, classic Blue Peter-style How-to-work-your-dating-site guide, in Dating site dilemma…part three

Dating site dilemma…part three

Welcome back to the final piece of the jigsaw, which will hopefuly help you find an online dating partner with the least amount of fuss and greatest amount of efficiency, whenever the fancy takes you to go looking for love online.

One of the avantages of browsing technology that has helped us to navigate more swiftly than in days of yore is the ‘auto-fill’ option. As most dating sites require you to fill in similar information, do take the time before you start searching for love online to fill in this ‘under-the-hood’ tool with up-to-date information; your personals will be dangling before prospects in no time.

Do, however, take note of adult dating sites asking for credit-card details and the related implications, especially when registering for free dating sites.

Done? Okay, back to you browser, your window to a whole array of internet dating sites.

Next, we are going to create a new folder on your ‘bookmarks’ ribbon to keep tabs on your favourite dating sites. If you’re not sure how, here are links to four of the provider’s instructions on how to bookmark using their service:

Do that for this series, first, so you always have your how-to guide to hand, and then you can start ‘bookmarking’ your favourite dating sites, and keep adding them to the same folder.

If you are a little more technically gifted, you can also create a stack in ‘delicious’, where you can group all of your personals sites, write your own tags and comment on each one; even share them with fellow ‘web-site collectors’, if you so desire.

Another good tactic is to have your ‘other information’ typed (and saved!) on a document so you can simply copy and paste that detail once you complete the more specific areas of your online dating profile. If you take the time to do this ‘off-line’, you can hone, polish and tweak it, whether you have access to the internet, or not. Then just upload the details, next time you’re logged on.

Talking of tweaking – if, like me, you’re in between life stages, you may want to change certain snippets of your dating profile to target a particular dating community. If I was registering on a 40+ site (for seniors, allegedly), the fact that I go surfing may not win as many admirers as my penchant for writing; on a 20’s+ site, I may choose to reverse the tactic.

And the final stage is scoring (isn’t that what we set out to do [ooh-er!]?).

This applies to both your potential partner and the dating websites you’re assessing.  For this, create your own scale, using the key aspects that you look for in a dating community or website; this could be:

  • forum/chatroom availability/response
  • web-cam
  • paid upgrades
  • age-sensitive zones
  • feedback, updates and other correspondence

Then, prioritise those aspects and score each website, accordingly.  This will provide you with a very accurate ‘report’ of how good each dating site is.  Match that with your perfect partner profile from …part one and the know-how from …part two and you really are ready to go!

Online dating cite

We take it pretty much as read that, if you’re married, it is perhaps inadvisable to be using a dating site, paid, free or otherwise. Unless of course, it’s a swinger’s site and you’re trying to spice things up a little.

However, if you’re looking online for love and your marital partner is unaware, you are perhaps putting the knot into the noose with which you will eventually hang yourself.

It is becoming an acceptable face of court proceedings to hand over single posts or web-page transcripts from social media platforms or online dating sites in supporting evidence of innocence or guilt, one way or the other. This practise applies particularly for insurance claims or divorces, the latter usually where one half of the couple is accused of contacting singles on dating sites, which obviously has implications.

Especially if the correspondent on an internet-based dating site is later named in divorce the application. At all times, it is key for members of any online dating agency or other type of social media that, unless you are paying for a totally discreet or adult dating service, you are posting into the public domain, where this information is accessible to anyone who has an internet connection and search engine.

The practise of submitting this type of ‘evidence’, however, was taken to a whole new level in the US recently when a judge not only asked for evidence supporting claims of interaction with an online dating community but also requested the user names & passwords of the soon-to-be divorced couple in order to ascertain the depth of usage and how much it reflected on the case as a whole.

It transpires that, once the wife learned of her husbands intentions to use pages submitted to her preferred dating site, she called her friend, asking her to access the account and delete ‘certain’ correspondence.
Having gotten wind of this, the husband’s solicitor had private words with the judge, who placed an injunction on the accounts, summoned the access information, and passed the id’s and passwords on to the opposing solicitors.

The only caveat the judge issued regarding restriction of usage on the respective media and dating sites was that neither party should post whilst under the hood of the other’s account, pretending to be them.

This case does question privacy and terms of usage issued by some sites, forbidding you to share your user information with any third party. But you have to face facts – marriage, or any committed relationship, brings with it responsibility, even legalities.

So if you are hitched, don’t want to get ditched, some insights to sites, may lead to court cites!

Dating site dilemma…part one

It’s official, then – I’m a senior! That’s what I discovered when I entered the phrase ‘dating site’ into ye olde Google search bar, anyway.

I can’t recall what the excerpt said – in my haste, shock, fright, take your pick, it went something along the lines of ‘Senior dating – your source for all 40+ dating’.

Okay, I only just sneak into that bracket by a mere thirteen months, but ready to join the blue rinse brigade? Not while I’ve still got my own teeth!

It did, however, remind me of a key aspect that everyone should consider when choosing a selection of dating sites; well, that was after three cigarettes and a double Jameson helped me get over the shock that members of the mature dating set may be considering me ‘fair game’.

And that question is: what do you want from a dating site?

Okay, back to the search (shivers). If you query ‘find love on line’ or ‘internet dating agency’ you will find hundreds, nay thousands, of agencies claiming to be the best or offering the widest choice of free singles…
…you get the message.

But how do you know that they know what you want? There is no easy answer. Here’s my advice, for what it’s worth, if you’re new to online dating and are looking for a pointer or two where to find your perfect match online of the 5.2 million registered online dating accounts in the UK, alone. Yep – where’s that haystack; we’re going needle-hunting?!

You can go at it head-down into the haystack and you may be lucky enough to get pricked on your first attempt, end of story, never need a dating site again. And well done to you if you do, but that is a 2.6 million to one shot, if you assume a fifty-fifty split male/female, minus a few who are perhaps still undecided (but there will be specialist dating communities for the latter, so you should be safe).

You have to look at finding your perfect partner as a long-term investment. If someone asked you to surrender the rest of your life against a specific profile because of the character’s beautiful blue eyes, would you? Yeah, you’d be surprised; people do.

But, generally speaking, singles using dating sites are looking for more than one positive aspect before throwing themselves onto their knees in supplication. In other words, to come up with a mix that’s attractive, you must filter out potential risks; okay, it might not be a perfect brew, but you have made your investment a safer bet than just going in gung-ho because of a perfect pair of peepers.

Okay – that’s enough theory for today.

When you come back tomorrow, I want you to have made a list of positives and negatives. About the dating site you’re looking for and the potential partner.

For the site, at this stage, just decide whether you’re looking for free or paid and whether you’re looking to target a specific age-range.

For your potential partner, you can be a little more specific. Again, if age is a consideration, put that down. Other things can include distance, income, incumbent family, occupation. Different characteristics rate more highly than others for everyone, so only you can judge which go where in priority.

Apply these filters, and I’ll see you back here tomorrow with my thoughts on how to apply them online to help you narrow your search for the perfect internet date!