Dating site expectations are often too high

We continue today’s thread looking back at an appraisal that Sarah Harris, CEO of, made of dating sites and their members seven years ago, when the online dating world had a very different, rather desolate and shady landscape opposed to the one we see today.

The figures have grown massively over the short period since the article was posted, but the percentages, for the next two topics at least, are surprisingly similar. So, on we go: advice from a dating site CEO about the errors many dating site members make and why blaming your dating platform is not the right thing to do.

dating site success

When Sarah wrote the article, the figures showed that only 5% of all new members end up as a success story as a result of meeting another single they’ve met via their dating platform.

Today, with one dating site claiming to be responsible for 5% of all US marriages not so long ago, you would think that has changed, but that depends on what you class as a successful experience on your dating site.

A recent survey highlighted the fact that marriage is not the be and all for many, many dating site users. In fact, those results rather indicated that singles will register with a dating site already knowing what they want from their time spent online dating. Marriage was indeed the yardstick members of one matchmaking site measured their success by, whereas another was simply a promise of commitment and the third was purely any type of regular relationship; these were all well known, branded sites who took part in the survey.

Apathetic daters a waste of space

Another of source of Sarah’s chagrin was the amount of users who just could not be bothered to make the effort. In fact, she carries on to state that, the ten percent of dating site members who do get ‘smiles’ or ‘winks’ aside, the other 90% who berate the service after sign up just “don’t deserve any success.”

And it’s true. Much as she likens those ‘success’ stories to real life figures, the same can be said of dating site members who just do not put the effort in to attract their target audience.

Successful online dating is all about personifying your dating site profile to portray an upbeat, honest you that people want to contact and be with.  Look at your profile, now, and ask yourself who’s to blame for not enough traffic responding to your profile.  Go on, now!

If you went to your local bar with your hair a bedraggled mess, without brushing your teeth, applying make up or deodorising, what chances would your stand of pulling? None, other than the drunk in the corner.

Dating site profiles are no different. They represent you – you may be the catch of the decade, but if your profile doesn’t say that, how on earth are the millions of other dating site members outside your little bubble going to know?

The gravity of success your time spent online dating will be comensurate to the time and effort you put in to crafting and maintaining your online profile.

We conclude today’s thread in the next article with an overview of dating sites in general and why going for a paid membership will always beat a free dating site on levels of service hands down, every time.

If at first you don’t succeed…

For every sector of the online market place that is the World Wide Web, there is always one company that does things differently. Online dating is in no way exempt from that scenario.

Many seasoned singles site users are used to one of only two different types of online dating service: free or premium.  By seasoned, I’m not merely referring to the more mature dating correspondents; there are many younger members, nowadays, who have not only fuelled the momentum behind this ever-growing market, but also, by their demands, have made dating websites take a step back and look at their role, in toto.

Whichever end of the timeline you’re closest to, or to whichever type of online dating you subscribe, one common complaint is the frustration when a member whose reaction you are trying to invoke is just not answering your private messages; this becomes all the more frustrating if your free dating limit or chosen premium only permits a certain volume of direct correspondence over a given timeframe.

It can take an awfully long time to realise that you’re either punching above your weight or that the target of your affection is simply not interested.  So, what to do? Be patient and risk missing other dating opportunities or go to plan b?

There is often very little you can do if the object of your desire is unresponsive. In the ‘real’ world, away from dating sites, however, when every other trick in the book has failed, there is always the last resort: throw cash at your problem. It is perhaps not the most tactful of deployments, but many long-term relationships have required such a kick-start in the past.

One online dating service recently saw the mileage in this tactic.

When alikened to a ‘charity auction’, the company’s CEO conceded that the mechanics were similar, however, the underlying motivator for his site remains solely for the purpose of guaranteeing its singles membership, who may otherwise pass unnoticed, a genuine chance of finding love on line.

If the tactic of selling first dates didn’t cause enough of a furore within the dating community, a process for which they have since applied for patent rights, the company’s more recent announcement has taken their outlandish stance to a whole new level.

To date, the CEO believes that the dating site’s growing ranks have come, in the main, by word of mouth. In an attempt to capitalise on its current popularity, the site has entered into a joint venture with an existing affiliate organisation.

This will give the online dating site a proven route to market, with the affiliate company’s huge network of publishers and webmasters primed and ready to promote the business.

The affiliate program offers each networker $1.00 for each new sign up to the dating agency’s main, free membership and a subsequent 40% chunk of every successful bid their sign-up’s win, if a new member joins within 30 days of clicking through the affiliate’s link.

And the limit? There is none. Each affiliate will get paid for as many sign-ups as they can direct to the site.

No doubt this latest foray into uncharted waters for dating websites will upset a few of the established old-guard…
…but only, perhaps, because they wish that they had conceived the idea, first.