Savvy single or hapless hopeful

Wherever there’s a gang of mixed friends, there’s always the one who states categorically that they prefer the single life when, in truth, you all know that they’re just hopeless with the opposite sex. Very often they’re named Steve or Dave if they’re blokes, Ange or Debbie if they’re of the fairer sex.  If you sent them into a room full of desperate singles, they’d only come out pulling their…

…okay, face, but you know what I mean?

There are genuinely people who prefer the single life; the field is there to be played, whether it’s bars or dating sites it doesn’t matter; they work hard all week building a nest egg for the future and they go out and have a bit of fun of the weekend. If, for whatever reason, they don’t pull, it’s water of a duck’s back – they’ll be here or there again next week, giving it another bash.

Then there are those gagging for a relationship, but that desperation reeks more than the half a bottle of smelly-nice they put on as they leave the house, nip back in to apply a bit more just to be sure, and that overpowering combination sees them skulking off before the end of the night because they’ve been rejected, yet again.

It’s difficult to put your finger on exactly what it is they’re doing wrong but, like a virgin on a first date with Quagmire, their fate is sealed before they even leave the house, ponging of Kouros and desperation.

There’s an interesting article just been published in The States about what hapless singles may be doing wrong in their approach to the opposite sex; over the next two articles, I’ll translate that post for a UK dating audience so that, even if you’re not Dave or Debbie, you can perhaps pass on a few pointers for them next time they log on to their dating site or you can arm yourself with the information to really rub it in next time you’re pulling, there knot.

1. Being picky
Is your friend looking for too much in a date, therefore narrowing their options to such a point that the likelihood of them finding an exact match is still awaiting the copy-editors red pen in a Disney studio, somewhere?

Let’s face it, for a guy, the next Kate Moss or Claudia Schiffer is not going to be the next person to walk through the door of your local spit and sawdust bar. For the girls, the Nick Camen’s of this world do not drop by and strip in the launderette to a Marvin Gaye soundtrack.

If that’s where your friend’s hanging out, he gets what he gets; girls dreaming whilst watching the washing machine go around, likewise. The same can be said about dating sites. If Ange is only flitting between the free dating site services, just scrolling down profiles that don’t match the list of 20 ‘must-have’s in a potential partner, she’s hardly going to find someone who’s a) all of the above and, b) unwilling to invest the requisite time, effort and hard earned cash in finding the perfect match online to make a go of a relationship of any description. Again, you get what you pay for.

More in the next two articles (click the tag ‘Debbie and Dave’ on Friday to bring up the entire dating site thread for this mini series), starting with positivity and integrity, two key factors to making your dating site work for you.