Dating site turn offs – what not to share

Match.com recently conducted its second Singles in America study which we ran an overview of here on dating.org.uk a little while ago with the promise of embellishment upon these bones of the online dating industry as and when they became available during the course of the month.

Enough time has passed, it seems, for the renowned doctors, therapists and dating sites scientists to have dissected this information, drawn their conclusions and put them together in some type of meaningful format for the US singles market.

With the US economy little better off than our own, it is fair to assume that the results will have some relevance to the UK dating scene – how much you will only be able to judge for yourself as we interpret the statistics and percentages proposed by the giant of global dating with perhaps just a nod of acknowledgment to the 5,000 US singles who took part in the gruelling 135 question survey.

So, now you know from whence the information was gleaned, let’s get stuck into the sub-categories. The scientists chosen each had relevant experience in their niche and in homage to the construction of the survey, those doctors and therapists and relation experts have all stuck to their own field in providing their summaries.

We start with an appraisal by Dr Justin Garcia, scientific advisor to the dating site for the last two years, of the aspects of your dating site profile and offline dating behaviour that is going to kill any relationship stone dead before it’s even inhaled its first romantic breath. In other words, the deal breakers. There are several, and some more relevant to singles in some age ranges of the dating site membership than to others.

Being of US origin, the results contain several percentages relating to the adjudged panel’s answers but I will do my best to refer to them only when necessary; that many figures in an article make the news look like a maths exam and only geeks like those. Apologies to all the geeks, but that’s just not on.

In the following articles, we’ll take on board what US singles will just not put up with in their partners; article 2 will get their views on hygiene, article 3 will be about communication and bedroom Olympics – yeah, like trying to get a man to talk after sex in the UK dating scene’s ever gonna happen. Link to article two, here; article three – if you want forget about the dirty bits and just get straight down to the, well, dirty bits, here on Sunday, along with parenthood and distance relationships. See you over the page.

Darling, dirty sex doesn’t mean you don’t have to wash it

With the global dating industry worth $2bn, according to one recent study, it is safe to assume that whilst chatting to prospective partners you will come across many singles who just don’t do it for you. Sometimes you just can’t put your finger on why you’re not taken with another single, whereas other times it’s just staring you (and everyone else) in the face, except the lovelorn single who’s having no luck with any of his or her dating sites.

These instances, these absolute no-no’s, are called the deal-breakers in America speak. Details in one recent study conducted by Match.com of 5,000 of its membership suggest that there are many, but some deal-breakers are more equal than others.

Hygiene, to you and me, is just one of those things that you do. You may not feel like it sometimes, but you know how devastating it would be not only to your love life but to your career and social standing if you let these standards slip. Especially if you are a very pristine (that’s a nice way of saying vain) person who takes better than average care of the way they look. And smell.

Unsurprisingly, the unkempt person was berated by all age ranges in the Singles in America study, but there was most definitely a pattern. For the youngest bracket in the survey, the twenty-somethings, only 55% of them said that someone who was lax in their appearance would be a definite write-off as a date. Take the same query to the other end of the scale, the baby boomers, and hygiene matters a whole lot more. If you let your cleanliness slip when you reach retirement, you will have isolated yourself from a massive 8 out of 10 seniors in your age range on your dating site. According to those figures, expectations raise considerably with age.

The general feeling toward the scruffy single is that, if they cannot put together a smart appearance to attract someone in the first place, what consideration are they going to show to anyone unfortunate enough to give them a try on their dating site? Okay, it may be a habit that a partner slips into once you’ve been together for a while and they become illness- or unemployment-stricken, but when you’re setting out down the dating path and you encounter this type of offensive filth, you do not want to have to explain the importance to someone who should know better at their age.

To be fair, if they have been poorly or just got back into work, they may not have noticed their standards slip, and you may want to risk having a discreet word with them early doors about the problem. How they react to your suggestion will obviously determine whether you continue dating them, or not. If they are ignorant of their hygiene, you may want to risk it. If they react badly, they are possibly in denial – that’s up to you then to decide whether they possess the maturity to change or whether you let them go figure it out for themselves and leave it to the next member of your dating site community to find out whether they made good on any promises.