Fatherless children select from “daddy” online shop

A widow recently remarried more than ten years after her partner died in a small airplane crash. In an unusual step, it was her two children that sought out her second husband while surfing a dating site.

Charlotte Morgan, aged 41 years, encountered her new husband, who is 44 years old, after her children picked him out from the online dating site called “daddy shop”.

The retired model, who is now a businesswoman, had stopped trying to meet another man when her husband was involved in a fatal plane collision over Essex.

The ex RAF pilot, aged 34 years, was one of a total of three persons who were killed in the collision between a Cessna 172 and a Yak 50 not far from Harlow, in Essex. in April 2000.

After a decade had passed since his death, the woman, who owned a photographic agency, discovered a new found love, a father-of-one, who was divorced and came from North London.

It took nine months before she became engaged after her children, Zoe, and Will chose from myriads of other possible matches profiled on the online site.

The family, which includes Rose, Mr. Bolam’s daughter, are now residing under the same roof in a medieval farmhouse worth nearly 1.4 million pounds near to Ongar in Essex.

She recalled that she had been out on five dating encounters independently of her children the previous year but there was no real glow in the individuals.

Her son said he needed a dad as he was barely a year old when his father was killed and he did not know what it was like to have a daddy.

The kids chose one person and that in the end became their new father as he just fitted the bill. As Charlotte said, at least they could not claim it was a bad choice later on if things did not work out for them all.

Sexual corruption takes over girls on the internet

Lacking in security and vying for male attention, Rebecca was only 15 when she started meeting complete strangers for sex using internet based dating sites.
As a teenager, Rebecca suffered low self-esteem and sadly became obsessed with having sex with unknown men she met online to enhance her self-confidence.

Being on her own in a hotel room with a male she had only spoken to 30 minutes before, Becky knew she could not back away. For six months, the teenager had been chatting regularly online to Stuart after coming into contact with him on an internet dating site.

A part of virtual courting involved sending Stuart, who said he was 24 years old, provocative photos of her self. She didn’t question this and just complied.

Once he had bought Becky’s train ticket to travel 200 miles to meet him, it was obvious he was going to expect her to have sex with him. She didn’t want this to happen, but she couldn’t stop herself.

Rebecca said that they had been chatting for several months and had sent sexual messages to one another. She thought this would have to be the next step.

It was her first real life encounter that shocked her as he looked like nothing in the photo. He was certainly not attractive and was a 40-year-old not a 24 year old as he had originally said. Fortunately, the sexual encounter was over quickly.

He paid up for the room and then they said their goodbyes at the station, never to see each other again.

It appears that more and more children are growing up with an addiction to online pornography sites.

One would assume that the degrading experience that Becky went through would put her off internet dating. However, because she is an insecure, overweight teenager, she sought out any type of compliment that might be favourable in return for sex.

Her first encounter with Stuart was the beginning of a 5-year addiction to engaging in sex with males she had met through online dating sites.

Dating tips by the people for the people

There are very few diamonds in the rough in the world of online dating news. As alluded to in previous posts, there is too much black-hat ‘keyword stuffing‘ from poor-quality dating websites looking to fill their pages with ‘news’ illegible to anyone but the Google spiders; and then there are the global dating sites whose content is specific to their own product and does little to represent the online dating community outside of their own domain.

Lovestruck.com, however, is neither, providing quality, readable content that, as well as being insightful leaves you feeling better informed when you leave the site than before you first logged on.

In a recent post, they produced a guide for both sexes to literally hold your hand through the dating process, including tips for the build-up, the during and the after (to a point). So as not to totally plagiarise the writer’s content, the next few articles will compile a his, a hers, and a mutual ‘how-to-date-guide’ to ensure that, when you do meet that special someone on your dating site, you won’t let yourself down when your wooing hits the tarmac of reality.

So, without further ado, let’s take a look at what the guys and girls recommend in light of their own extensive (by their own admission) experience from the world of UK dating.

why should there be two sets of rules?

It is harder for gents to get dates, it has to be said. Yes, they have a reputation of actually being less fussy, but the flip side is that women are, by their very nature, more choosy. There are plenty of arguments as to why this should be, but the favourite answer seems to be one akin to the theory of natural selection. The female of the species, as well as being more deadly than the male, has to carry the offspring produced by any physical liaison.

According to those who know about such things, there exists a switch that dates back to Neanderthal times buried deep within the female psyche, nearly as hard to find as that infamous place first defined by Regnier de Graaf way back in 1672.  This mystical node maintains a standard below which women will not drop when appraising any potential father to their future children. Much like the G-Spot, this switch can, and often is, flipped on or off by the application of Vodka and/or Stella Artois.

However, that is not a subject for the first date – that will come much, much later (no, don’t say it, don’t even think it!). First, we’ll see how we can guide the ‘him’ through that first date, flicking all the right switches to warrant a second encounter…

Is online dating a real relationship?

If you were to really think about the terminology, ‘online dating’ isn’t. According to the freedictionary.com, the definition of dating is: ‘An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.

I mean, I know times have changed and we now have fantastic touch-screen computers and mobile interfaces, but even they cannot replicate the feeling of holding hands underneath L’Arc de Triomphe on a chill, November midnight.

So, how do we cross that Champs Elysee of a road to get your new online partner to leave the comfort of their home and actually come out on a date with you? And if you have ever been unfortunate enough to have to cross that road between 7am and 10pm, you’ll know that’s no mean feat! Give me the online dating challenge every time.

a quick recap on the basics of online dating

First and foremost, you must start building bridges, and the keystone that binds any relationship has to be trust.

This can be difficult, given that any potential blossoming is still in the virtual zone and needs terra firma to really take root. Honesty is the best policy from the outset. Okay, if you’re a recovering alcoholic or have got twelve children, these are things you may want to introduce at a later stage.

But the basics like age, weight, career, ambition and what you are looking for from the dating website and any future long-term relationship you have to be straight down the line from the outset.

Do not, repeat: not, try and jazz up your profile with some ludicrous tale like you’re 6’2” and 15st, when you’re 5’4” and 9st wringing wet; or that you ‘head up the IT department’ at work, when you’ve only just figured out how to launch the internet on your 7-year old PC that the kids left behind when your partner walked out just before the divorce. Sounds harsh, but desperation leads to all of the wrong decisions.

And, if you are on a bit of a downer, do not let that dullen your profile. By all means mention that you are separated, heck – how many dating site members aren’t?, but try to keep the majority of what you’re saying about yourself upbeat, in order to attract more invitations to date. As in ‘real’ date, off-screen, where the clammy, nervous hand is a real, tangible entity, not a dream across 1,000 miles of cyber-space.

To instil confidence further, ensure that you suggest the first date be in a public place. No matter how convincing or genuinely trustworthy you are, your new online dating friend cannot really start to trust you until after a few liaisons.

And remember, people may look slightly different to their profile pic, if you’ve not had access to a web-cam date prior to your first meeting. In a recent survey, it was discovered that men’s dating site profile photos were 6 months old, on average, whereas women’s were from 18 months ago. However different your partner looks off-screen, be sure to compliment them, to set them at ease.

Okay – that’s you set, and ready to give your partner an Eiffel, when you meet and make the date a date. All of this virtual relationship malarkey – it’s enough to drive you in Seine!

‘Net’s net nett dating effect – part one

how one dating website is dealing with scammers

With the ever growing numbers of dating site members, not to mention the amount of actual matchmaking sites out there in cyber space these days, it is good to know that at least some of the more proficient ones have their singles’ best interests at heart.

With volumes of lonely hearts flooding dating websites across the internet, like the scent of blood to sharks, so the pariahs follow for their pound of flesh. Scamming is the pestilence that is the Achilles heel of the internet dating scene; no matter how genuinely hard some of the more prominent personals sites work to keep out this nuisance, there always seem to be take to take every successful bad apple’s place.

But, realistically, what can the administration of dating websites do to protect its trusting members from being, in a crass term, ripped-off beyond belief, by imposters who play on others low self-esteem and gullibility. Don’t be fooled – they can be difficult to spot; these fraudsters have been trained by the best and can pick out a weakness in even the most fortified of dating profiles.

As we have reported on countless occasions, here on dating.org.uk, there are ways in which the ever-approachable dating site member can arm ourselves without becoming too abrupt. But it’s good to see support from the webmasters of dating sites, platforms upon which we not only open up our hearts but also, seemingly, all too often our purses, too.

Okay, you accept that on a free dating site, where the revenue from sponsorship and advertising is the nett capital income of the company behind the web page, that admin and security are going to be minimal. But we all feel, especially in cash-strapped UK, dating sites that we contribute a monthly or quarterly membership fee to should not just leave it to us to filter out the phishes, but they should get their hands dirty, too.

Thankfully, one such dating website has done just that and perhaps is a yardstick that other such adult contact sites should measure themselves by.

To look further into the measures they are taking to protect you, proceed to part two…

Prolific dating skills

One of the many tactics dating sites use to encourage women to sign up to their services is by offering them a free membership. The theory being that men are more likely to pay for a personals service; however, even they are not so frivolent to splash out if there are no members of the opposite sex to woo once they arrive.

This works well, and keeps the male/female ratio appropriate, especially as you move into Eastern Europe, and beyond.

Therefore, it is perhaps a little unusual when you come across a headline that includes the words ‘men’s’, ‘free’ and ‘dating’ all in one hit. But that is exactly the case with a how-to guide that has been collated by one such website, 100% dedicated to men’s advice on getting the best from their online dating service, whichever one that may be.

However, you will have to be quick – the five-day, online course is only open to the first 150 sign-ups, then it is being taken down forever, according to Alex Hitchens, the Online Dating Consultant who was the brainchild behind the project for the host company, Hitch-Up.

The site itself focuses on the younger end of the market, predominantly targeting the 18-38 age bracket (bugger!). Unlike many other online dating advice services, it not only caters for young singles looking for love online, but also caters for the married man, too.  Though, how many of the latter would be brave enough to tell their other halves that they were enrolling on a five-day course for getting the best out of internet dating sites, free or otherwise, we’ve yet to see.

Whilst explaining a little further about the ‘masterclass’ he has put together, Alex is keen to underline that the market for men for dating websites is still extremely buoyant. With communications, and life in general, so frantic, having a remote relationship is perhaps all that busy, young professionals (why am I seeing Del-Boy with a mac and filofax?) have time for, and bridges the gap between off-line love interests whilst they concentrate on their careers.

But the research has not been done purely targeting the upper-end of the online dating market.  In order to get an all-round perspective, Alex scraped the bottom of the barrel, visiting some extremely dodgy adult dating sites, whilst also incorporating free and paid memberships.

In summary, the course has been designed for men who have little or no success with online dating and will help to identify sites “…that will leave you with a good taste in your mouth.”

Bon appétit, gents! Enjoy the main course.

Online dating industry to hold annual awards

The online dating industry’s largest annual awards ceremony is scheduled to take place in Miami early in the new year. However, the nominations for the twelve categories to be recognosed closes this Friday, 4th November.

This year’s ‘early’ event, there are two others later in the year in the US and Europe, will be a joint venture between The Internet Dating Conference and Online Personals Watch. Attendees at the Miami Beach Convention Centre, hosting the conference between January 24th and 25th, have the additional bonus of sharing the venue with the Social Networking Industry, who will be in the exhibition hall next to the internet dating industry’s hall.

Those registering for the dating and matchmaking event will have their invitations extended to the coincidental convention, too. It is perhaps not so much of a surprise that the two industries should be hosting their conferences under the same roof.

There is no doubt that the recent explosion in social media popularity has played its part in helping dating websites eradicate their once dubious image and enhanced their profile to the status of being the en vogue way to meet people, as it is now perceived.

There are very few secrets on the surface of the online dating industry; everything a company has to offer is up front and in your browser as soon as you enter any individual singles or dating website.

The types of service, paid fees and levels of membership entry can differ considerably, however, but the mechanics and target market place are similar: taking a single person, matching them to another and hoping it is the beginning of another new love story.

What the conference sets out to achieve is to bring the CEOs and the website designers, the affiliates and networkers together.  The combination of this input helps the dating industry’s biggest players bring you, the member, the most professional and enjoyable experience each and every time you log on to your online matchaking service.

The feedback is invaluable right the way down the chain, providing online dating comparison websites insights into the best established and start-up companies to promote and partner, in turn offering their clients genuine and proven tactics in the search for love on line.

The ‘best’ categories, those recognised as the dating industry’s key performance indicators, developed over time with members and internet business professionals alike, are as follows:-

  • Dating Site
  • Matchmaker
  • Software Provider
  • Mobile Dating Site
  • Dating Site Design
  • Dating Coach
  • Most Innovative Company
  • New Technology
  • Payment System
  • Affiliate Program
  • Marketing Campaign
  • Up and Coming Dating Site

So, the next time you visit your preferred site, it’s worth considering all of these steps that have brought you ‘in-off-the-street’, as it were, and helped you get started on your journey to find Mr or Mrs Right, who may be hiding behind a profile, just waiting for you to discover them in deep in cyberspace.

Are you using dating sites on the sly?

Wifi hotspots, iphones, androids – if you want to check who’s responded to your dashingly, devastating dating site messages, you can do it almost anywhere, these days.

Gone are the days when you had to pray to the gods of javascript to close your browser swiftly in order to hide the latest online dating profiles, if, whilst surfing the free online singles sites at home, there turned an unexpected key at the front door.

Thankfully, if perusing prospective relationships on line is your thing (even though you are betrothed to another), you can accommodate this pasttime far and wide.  This is a far cry from being tethered to the dial-up connections of the past, when dating websites were only as remote as the length of your telephone wire.

According to one dating service, browsing the internet for online singles remains a commonplace activity for those who perhaps oughtn’t be doing so.  The results of their survey, put to 25,000 of its members, suggested that juggling blindfold with machetes was perhaps preferable to looking for love online when you already had a partner in situ, ignorant of your daliances.

Okay, we can make allowances; almost two thirds of those surveyed were male. Not that I’m saying men are less intelligent, but are perhaps prone to showing off any ‘sexts’ received from a dating site member to their mates, hence more likely to leave the evidence on the sim or M2 card in their mobile.

Now, one would assume that a level of common sense would prevail and that, upon returning home after receiving a message from someone obviously keen on building a relationship outside of your existing one, you would delete it.  But no.

An amazing 58% of those caught not quite with their pants down, but nonetheless hard pushed to refute the evidence when it’s there in the hand-held, attributed the reason to messages received via a third party personals site.

Pro-rata, the result was similar for both sexes, with admitting being caught by their partners because of a carelessly undeleted dating site cell-message accounting for approximately 3 times the polled answers than that of its closest rival, the good old PC.  So, obviously the gods of Javascript are still gainfully employed but possibly on shorter time, these days, like so many other uk dating site visitors.

Looking forward, however, the integration of GPS on our phones means your partner could quite feasibly track the whereabouts of your mobile if you were to sneak out on a date; therefore, it would advisable to stay in the proximity of where you said you were going to be if you do decide to nip out for a stab at speed dating.

Remember, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and it would be awful to get home one night, only to find that your service provider had been irrevocably been cut off…

If at first you don’t succeed…

For every sector of the online market place that is the World Wide Web, there is always one company that does things differently. Online dating is in no way exempt from that scenario.

Many seasoned singles site users are used to one of only two different types of online dating service: free or premium.  By seasoned, I’m not merely referring to the more mature dating correspondents; there are many younger members, nowadays, who have not only fuelled the momentum behind this ever-growing market, but also, by their demands, have made dating websites take a step back and look at their role, in toto.

Whichever end of the timeline you’re closest to, or to whichever type of online dating you subscribe, one common complaint is the frustration when a member whose reaction you are trying to invoke is just not answering your private messages; this becomes all the more frustrating if your free dating limit or chosen premium only permits a certain volume of direct correspondence over a given timeframe.

It can take an awfully long time to realise that you’re either punching above your weight or that the target of your affection is simply not interested.  So, what to do? Be patient and risk missing other dating opportunities or go to plan b?

There is often very little you can do if the object of your desire is unresponsive. In the ‘real’ world, away from dating sites, however, when every other trick in the book has failed, there is always the last resort: throw cash at your problem. It is perhaps not the most tactful of deployments, but many long-term relationships have required such a kick-start in the past.

One online dating service recently saw the mileage in this tactic.

When alikened to a ‘charity auction’, the company’s CEO conceded that the mechanics were similar, however, the underlying motivator for his site remains solely for the purpose of guaranteeing its singles membership, who may otherwise pass unnoticed, a genuine chance of finding love on line.

If the tactic of selling first dates didn’t cause enough of a furore within the dating community, a process for which they have since applied for patent rights, the company’s more recent announcement has taken their outlandish stance to a whole new level.

To date, the CEO believes that the dating site’s growing ranks have come, in the main, by word of mouth. In an attempt to capitalise on its current popularity, the site has entered into a joint venture with an existing affiliate organisation.

This will give the online dating site a proven route to market, with the affiliate company’s huge network of publishers and webmasters primed and ready to promote the business.

The affiliate program offers each networker $1.00 for each new sign up to the dating agency’s main, free membership and a subsequent 40% chunk of every successful bid their sign-up’s win, if a new member joins within 30 days of clicking through the affiliate’s link.

And the limit? There is none. Each affiliate will get paid for as many sign-ups as they can direct to the site.

No doubt this latest foray into uncharted waters for dating websites will upset a few of the established old-guard…
…but only, perhaps, because they wish that they had conceived the idea, first.