The tell-tale signs of dating scammers – in practise

The second blog I read that made me angry, (if you missed the first, click [here]) even though it was designed for amusement, and described a scenario that those new to dating sites may get embroiled in before they even know it, was from a MrLE to another female dating site user and blogger. Admittedly, she was bored so played along, but the gist of the story, in very broken English from said MrLE, was this…

He opened the conversation (all through private e-mail on the dating site) with “Hello Pretty Lady” – a dead giveaway to someone who is not who they purport to be; read our  Not the language of love article as to why – and it all sort of went downhill from thereon in. MrLE followed that up by describing our blogger, or rather a ‘ladyfriend’ who he supposedly had sitting next to him remarked that, our blogger was “smoking sexy” – I mean, c’mon.

The ‘ladyfriend’, with no voice of her own, strangely enough, wanted to know if our female blogger correspondent was into ladies. Having told MrLE a straight “No!”, it did no good whatsoever; he persisted by questioning the truth of her response, going on to explain that he had placed a bet with his ladyfriend, which he had now lost because he’d wagered that our blogger was not averse to a bit of same-sex female bonding.

This is another skill of the practised scammer, playing on sympathy, trying to get the unsuspecting single to show an Achilles Heel, which they will exploit if you show too much ankle.  Some, like this guy, are pretty obvious, but others can be a lot more subtle.

Despite our blogger’s shorter and shorter answers, MrLE kept on badgering her, even after she had stopped responding completely, using well practised lines to make his scenario seem plausible. In truth, 99.9% was probably fallacy, just a hopeful approach to get another dating site single engaged before entrusting himself to her further, which could have opened the door to heartstrings, purse strings and G strings, over a prolonged period.

MrLE even had the gall to follow up the day after to ask our blogger what sort of day she’d had; although, in all likelihood, he had very little memory of the exact conversation as he would have been on to pastures new the moment she stopped responding.

Needless to say, our seasoned dater was having none of it and gave MrLE short shrift, but I don’t think she realised that this was a genuine attempt by a scammer to engage – I bet he couldn’t believe his luck, at first. You can see from this illustration how someone new to dating would have felt pressured or obliged into keeping the conversation going, maybe even costing the newbie their membership as they abandoned the site in the urgent desire to rid themselves of this persistent nuisance, the likes of whom give the genuine world of online dating such bad press.

I obviously commented on the blog to let her know how lucky she had been and urged her to contact site admin immediately. She was savvy enough to sidestep this attack, but newbies perhaps wouldn’t have been so aware, or at the very least, got totally the wrong impression of online dating.

If you’ve not read the series The Money Pit of Online Fraud, please do so, especially if you’re new to this wonderful world of online dating, which is fun and can open up exhilarating friendships and, as the success stories will tell you, so much more.  Don’t let idiots like MrLE or Santa put you off, just learn the signs and, in the interest of others who may be newer to dating than you are, get site admin to at least check out their credentials and furthermore warn them that their conduct is unacceptable, if you feel you’ve been subjected to unreasonable behaviour.

Is mixing booze with your free dating site a good idea?

In today’s super-fast Autobahn that is life, it’s a wonder we have pleasure for anything. As the organisations we work for threaten us with redundancies and that we ought to be grateful for having a job that hasn’t rewarded us with a pay rise for three years, where does “fun” come in to it all?

This is causing a whole generation of young workers to be over-cautious, squirreling what little they can away just in case the worst were to happen and, instead of stumping up £4.00 a pint and little change out of a tenner if you offer to buy a potential partner a drink when you’re at the bar buying your own, is it any wonder youngsters are turning to free dating sites as a virtual way of getting to know the opposite sex? And where are the middle-upper classes getting the idea that alcohol is cheap? Yeah, if you’re on £100k/year.

With wages low and breweries commanding so much for a beer over the counter, a whole generation is growing up drinking off-license beer at home before they even step out of the house, arranging to meet anyone they can from their free dating site later that evening after they’ve already drank enough to drown a seasoned seaman.

Are free dating sites as secure as paid matchmaking services?

The issue with free dating sites – and this is just a generalisation, there are some excellent free dating facilities on the Internet – is that many of them only raise income from the advertising of other dating sites that they post alongside their own ‘membership’.

If the world of online dating was a 100% secure environment, there would be no issue with this, whatsoever. The problem lies in the fact that, especially on free dating platforms, scammers lie in wait hoping to tempt vulnerable individuals within the dating site community to part with their cash for any number of sob stories that unsuspecting singles can fall for due to a whole host of their own emotional reasons. And the scammers know it.

Whereas paid membership dating sites can invest a sizeable amount of their income to protect its membership, free online dating agencies do not have this luxury, exposing its membership to a whole host of criminal activity awaiting behind dubiously gorgeous profile photos for a free dating site platform.

The point is, that once you start drinking, your guard lowers. If, when using free dating sites, your usual level of caution is abandoned, you are even more liable to entertain advances from scammers or any manner of person who has not been vetted.

If you are using your free dating site facility, great, but do so responsibly. Likewise, if you are drinking, do so responsibly. If you are drinking and using your dating site, hide your credit card and bank details somewhere safe and, if you do arrange to meet someone, take one of your friends with you!