Peer pressure determines boyfriend online dating choice

Another new dating site has surfaced and, perhaps rather predictably, it has just released a survey into its customers dating preferences.

Part of the survey carried out by new website datewithamate.com looked at the effect that friends’ approval had on dating behaviour.

Clients were asked if they were concerned if their friends approved of their new boyfriend or not and what they would do if they did not.

Nearly 1200 people were surveyed and one assumes that they were all single females.

Surprisingly, a majority seemed to be very concerned that their friends liked their boyfriend and approved of the relationship. 89% said that they were bothered about their friends’ feelings, while a lot less – 59% were bothered about what their boyfriend’s own friends thought about their relationship.

The survey was carried out by the new dating site because, according to the founder, Luke Pomaro, they wanted to know more about their client base and what made them tick.

More facts and figures revealed in the survey included the fact that 12% said that they would dump a boyfriend if their friends did not approve, which showed that their friends’ opinion counted a little more than their mum’s, because only 7% said that they would end a relationship if mum did not approve!

Datewithamate.com is a “double dating” website, which means that it arranges dates with a friend. Perhaps it is no surprise, Mr Pomaro said, that anybody who signed up to the new site would take their friends’ opinions seriously in terms of choice of who to date.

However, Mr Poimaro was a little shocked at the number of people who took their friendship with their friends more seriously than their friendship with their boyfriend.

He said that while it was fine to take one’s friends thoughts into consideration, it was important not to take them so seriously that it would cause the relationship to end.

He said that any healthy relationship depended on what the two people themselves thought about each other, rather than what other people thought.

Trust the basis of online relationships

Like all relationships, if trust isn’t at the very foundation, you may as well send in the bulldozers to finish the job. Dating online is no different, if not even more subjective to someone being able to believe your profile, as there can be no expectation of eye contact until the barrier of trust is taken off the dating site and into real life.

And not only does your dating site profile have to convey that you are a good stick, forthright pillar of the community and worthy of a prospective partner travelling to fulfil a liaison, but also deliver conviction, and a confidence that initiates contact in the first instance.

Trust is a two-way street – the more carriageways you can add to the initial lane to supercharge your tarmac into a super-highway, the speedier you can expedite a runway to long-term happiness. So where is your navvy to make you this savvy?

There are several rules you need to follow to fast-track your dating profile to the extent where other dating site members will trust you as they would an agony aunt:

•Honesty is the best policy:

o There are accepted parameters whereby you can stretch the truth a little, such as the age of your profile photo (18 months women/6 months man, average) or weight and height – stick within the realms of reality to a) sound credible, as many seasoned online dating site users can spot an out and out lie from the off, and b} remember, your intention is to date off-screen! So many dating site members have been ridiculed after it has been revealed that their dating profile is about as akin to the real them as Arnie Schwarzenegger and Danny De Vito convinced us they were twins.

• Use both highways:

o If you open up to someone and let the real you shine through, it is human nature that they do the same as the two of you reach common, safe ground.

• The truth will out:

o Lies have a funny way of coming back to bite you on the rear. Whether it’s forgetting that one little detail that was poignant to another dating site member but insignificant to you or implying that you are something that you’re not will not only cause embarrassment thee and then but will probably destroy your credibility interminably. Even when you get away with a fib, it is usually at the expense of someone else’s feelings, so keep in mind the passive harm you could be administering with that ‘little white lie’.

Those are the basics for asserting trust and having it reciprocated through your online dating profile; use them wisely to see a whole new road open up ahead of you. Only you can say where that road will lead.

Lake all at sea following online dating disaster

It seems that celebrity guarantees no immunity when it comes to being swept off your feet by an online dating romance. However, star-status does not guarantee success as Dancing with the Stars contestant Ricki Lake reveals how, having been caught up in a whirlwind romance with a British gent she met via a dating website.

The mother of two, from her previous marriage to Rob Sussman, revealed to Newsweek magazine in a recent interview how, in her desperation to be with ‘someone’ for her birthday she almost made the biggest mistake of her life.

Although her friends warned her about the dangers of dating online, given her public status, she ignored her own reservations, too, exposing herself to all sorts of potential ne’er-do-wells who may take advantage.

And this is exactly what transpired.

The Brit, whom Ricki has not named, didn’t take long to weave his magic on the TV star. After only six weeks, her transformation under his spell was so complete she couldn’t even recognise herself in the mirror.

It was a month and a half where she was literally blinded by her new online love; the fact that he would order the most expensive item on the menu and be nice to her children to their faces but whinge to her staff when they were not around all went unnoticed as he built up her confidence.

So infatuated was she that she even had sessions with an immigration lawyer vis a vis obtaining his green card and even flew across the pond to meet his mother here in the UK with a view to getting married.

When it transpired that his online dating profile, in fact his whole demeanour, were only targeted to his attempt to gain a green card, his abuse of her status and the string of lies he’d thread Lake’s house of cards came tumbling down.

As if she needed confirmation, the day after Lake dumped the fraudster, she saw him in an intimate pose on facebook with one of her extended circle of friends.

She has not let the experience be wasted, however, and has learnt much from the lesson, one which all dating website members across the world can all benefit from.

Looking for love on line is not about simply looking for someone, it is looking for the one.
You have invested your time and effort to portray yourself in as true a nature as possible and you owe it to yourself to do that investment justice.

But guys, if you’re thinking you stand a chance, Ricki Lake is well and truly off the market, having found love since in the shape of Christian Evans

Bieber bodyguard in online dating loan claim

Just when Justin Bieber thought things couldn’t get any worse, one of his personal bodyguards, Moshe Benabou, is being accused as the perpertrator of borrowing money from a lady he started dating online and being unable, or unwilling, to pay it back.

This serves as a warning to anyone approached through an online personals service that giving money to someone you do not know, no matter what credentials they purport to hold, is never a good idea.

In Spring this year, the unfortunate victim struck up a relationship after being approached by Bieber’s personal bodyguard on a well-known dating site and subsequently entered into e-mail correspondence.

When the young star came to Los Angeles, the home town of the unnamed lady makingbehind these allegations, she and her new online dating interest finally made the transition from an online romance to an offline, physical encounter.

In an exclusive interview with online news outfit RadarOnline.com the victim of this real-life dating tragedy revealed the lead-up, the transaction and the subsequent attempts to retrieve the money which have left her with a bitter taste in her mouth and a huge hole in her bank balance. All of the claims RadarOnline.com report to have verified with the online dating site member, who wishes to remain anonymous to ensure the privacy of her family and close relations.

Following their initial meeting in May, the couple proceeded to date. The relationship flourished and, at the beginning of this fleeting romance, Moshe Benabou was described as being ‘very charming’.

That all changed in August when the bodyguard asked to borrow $3,000 from her, adding how hard it was for him to have to ask this favour of her. Allegedly to send back to his children whilst he had other business in Florida, he promised that the money would be repaid “For sure in a month but it will be before,” via text.
The day after receiving that text, Moshe visited the victim at home, where the money was begrudgingly handed over.

Following that transaction, after texting each other numerous times a day, there was nothing more from the bodyguard, neither via phone nor on his online dating profile, for almost a week.

Early in September, following stronger demands for the loan to be repaid, the woman received a text which simply stated that he would have the money for her “Sep 30 good bye till then.”

The saga continued into October, when Moshe texted the female dating site member from South America, where he was allegedly supervising the security for the beleaguered pop starlet, stating that the money would be wired from Panama.

When that never happened, the accusee finally got to see her online beau on October 31st, resulting the couple going on a dinner date. She came away with a cheque for just $1,000, which, before depositing, she decided to check his bank account so as not to incur charges if it bounced. It was lucky that she did; she was told, as were RadarOnline.com when they also rang to confirm the availablility of funds, that there was not enough money in the account to honour the cheque.
To this day, this once active member of a vibrant online dating community is resigned to never getting her money back.

If this report rings any bells with experienced internet-based dating members, please be sure to forward it on to people who, from their dating website messages, look like being tempted into similar circumstances!

If that potential online partner starts asking you for money, or to invest in anything that you are in the slightest suspicious about, just don’t do it! They’re only after one thing, and it’s not your body or superior intellect!

Hot to foxtrot

More often used to scoring professional dancers and their ‘star’ partners on screen, Dancing With The Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba has scored off-screen, dating online!

As is the want, this year, of contestants sharing the intimacies of their personal relationships, Carrie Ann has followed suit, giving us the background of her online dating experiece with Jesse Sloan, choosing the platform of ‘Access Hollywood’ to do so.

So, exactly how did Miss Inaba floor her man?

Following a succession of dates with a younger singles base, Carrie Ann decided to chance throwing someone with a more mature dating perspective into the mix. Jesse’s profile picture prepossessed an element of familiarity, as she confessed to ‘Access’ a sense of already knowing him, before they even made contact.

And there’s a lesson about online dating that we can all heed: taking time to choose a picture that does yourself justice on dating sites proves its merit here as in March, on ‘Live! With Regis & Kelly’, Sloan got down on one knee to cement their relationship once and for all.

From Mr Sloan’s viewpoint, being the exception that breaks the above rule, Carrie Ann posted neither profile picture, nor information about her celebrity status, instead relying on solid, honest content. It was not until their online relationship had progressed a deal further than the standard introductions that Jesse was granted a photograph.

Even then, and this was several months down the line, the picture was one of Miss Inaba stripped of all make-up, very much as nature intended. The transition from online dating to actually meeting, albeit a supervised date to one of Carrie Ann’s friends places, occurred not long afterwards.

Following a steady courtship, their relationship appears to be building pace. When questioned about when the engagement will lead to the inevitable wedding, Carrie Ann told ‘Access’ that other needs were more pressing than formalising their current dating status by placing rings on their fingers.

With Jesse approaching the age at which life begins, and Miss Inaba slightly past that milestone, she is very conscious of the speed dating and engagement has taken thus far, and would welcome the patter of tiny feet just as much, if not more than, settling on dates for nuptials.

In her own words, she ‘suck[s]’ at wedding planning, so getting ‘moving on the baby’ front may be the priority.

All of us here at dating.org.uk offer our heartiest congratulations to the happy couple, as a real-life testament that online dating works. And hurry up and get out of that studio and away on that honeymoon, Carrie-Ann – before the wedding, you do not want to see the last of your tan go!

Dating game over down under

If you think your monthly online dating membership may be a little steep, take a time out to consider the current plight of our Antipodean cousins.

Queensland’s Fraud and Corporate Crime Group, headed up by Det. Supt. Brian Hay, believes that $10M Australian Dollars are being fraudulently extracted to Nigeria via internet scams every single month. Much of that ‘investment’ is being willingly handed over in the name of love from members of dating sites, being coerced by African nationals who spend all day, every day wooing vulnerable singles online.

Australian police had hoped the country’s populous had learned its lesson, following an e-mail scam some five years ago involving similar trafficking to African shores; however, it seems that the Nigerian scammers have moved with the times and, through dating websites, continue to fleece money from unsuspecting online dating site members.

Brian and his team have recorded some initial success, but warns that the fraudsters will soon be targeting UK dating agencies and plan to go even further into Europe, where free dating memberships are on the rise.

Following a tip-off from the sibling of a 53-year old mature dating site member, the fraud squad, assisted by a p.i., intercepted a money transfer for thousands of dollars in Kuala Lumpur. In a cunning plan, they created a make-believe personals profile, which the gang fell for and were subsequently arrested.

Det. Supt. Hay believes that this is just the tip of the iceberg; Rosalie, the target whose plight instigated this sting, is just one of 10,000 Australians who, through free dating sites or other internet platforms, contribute to this vast flow of elicited money to Africa. However, it is uncertain how much of the AUS$90,000 that Rosalie endowed upon this fraudulent individual, after falling in love online with him, she will be able to retrieve.

In an interview with 60 minutes, on air Sunday, Julia Robson explains how her career as a Datescreen private investigator involves assessing the backgrounds of singles dating online. She has short shrift with people involved with this scam and has ‘…no sympathy for these people, none whatsoever.’

So how will we catch wind of potential unscrupulous partners if considering entering into a relationship?

Other than a voyeur continually badgering you through the dating site personals messages or forums, professing their undying love, there are other tell-tale signs.

Beware of someone who is gaining your trust suddenly introducing a friend with a life-changing opportunity. Even with ‘pictorial’ evidence, never send money overseas without independent advice.

Invest in Skype. It is free and you can video-link to your online dating partner to ensure the person at least matches their profile through your laptop interface.

And finally, when the tru.ly app comes into force (as it looks like catching on for UK dating sites, as well as the US), make sure they have no objection to sharing that information.

These conmen are only after one thing!