Alternative dating methods, allegedly

I’m not going to say that I’m a traditionalist when it comes to dating, but meeting in a bar and heading off to a reputable restaurant does me fine every time. However, it would appear that for some, that’s just not good enough for a first date.

Reading an article today made me question whether I’ve just become stuck in a rut or whether I do actually need to shake up the hat a bit when plucking out what to do the first time I meet up with a potential partner in the flesh that I’ve met on a dating site.

These were five ideas conceived to achieve just that effect – would love to know whether any of them are your cup of tea, or whether I should concede that it’s time for me to join a senior dating site and just enjoy, well, my cup of tea.

The Picnic. Would I look like a wuss if I turned up with a wicker basket filled with ham sandwiches, tomatoes and sausage rolls? Living in the heart of Urban Central in the West Midlands may also be a drawback to finding a park that wasn’t littered with broken glass and walls sprayed with six-foot-high obscenities and tags. But, according to the article, girls like a simple and special treat, so, am I a sandwich short for not getting this one?

The Beach The second suggestion for taking your dating site partner out for the first time is a drive along the coast to watch the undulating waves flop against golden, sandy beaches. Again, the West Mids being smack-bang in the middle of England, we’re a bit short of Atlantic panoramas. The choice is either a stroll along the cut (that’s a canal, for anyone outside the Black Country) or a trip up the M6 to the turgid waters of The Irish Sea bombarding Blackpool’s Golden Mile.  Not too keen on that, either, I’m afraid.

Biking Okay, we go from the sublime to the bonkers, with a suggestion of picking up a bike trail into the mountains. Mmm, bit short of hillocks until you get to the Welsh border, really, or up to The Pennines. But the thought of dating someone with mud-spattered calves, no matter how shapely, with sweat stains seeping from armpits tightly clad beneath a cycling jersey just doesn’t do it for me, there, either.

Camping The suggestion here goes along the line of, take your woman off into the woods and hitch up a tent to spend the night together. Does this go against every rule of dating site safety you’ve ever read, or what? Couple that with the fact that, on your first date, you want as much access to electricity and clean running water as possible if it is imperative that your date means staying overnight somewhere. Leave camping to the Scouts, methinks.

Skydiving/Paragliding Air sports can be good for an adrenalin rush on your first date, apparently. It can also be good for showing what an absolute coward you are, breaking a leg or your dating partner falling for the more rugged instructor. No, I think I’ll stick to doing a runner from the Indian to get my blood sugar crashing, if that’s what the date called for. Definitely not flinging myself out of a plane from 15,000 feet, thank you. Firmly a terra firma type of guy.

And then the article concludes with a simple statement that suggests many men have no comprehension of what it takes to get women…
…I can only assume that the author was talking from personal experience. Waiter? Cheque, please!