Well, the weekend’s here, you’ve got your first dating site membership under your belt, spent an elaborate amount of time getting your dating profile looking just so and have probably browsed some of the other singles profiles to see if any of them catch your eye. Heck, you may even have a shortlist, already.
How you approach the other members on your chosen dating site(s) is key to you getting the best experience from online dating. There are a lot of people who have been using the Internet to find partners for an inordinate amount of time. They love it, may not want to commit to anything serious and enjoy the flirtatious nature of being in a public chat room where everyone has got the same aim. But to take your online relationship to the next level, you’re going to have to show a little more interest than commenting on a comment they have made in a thread of conversation in view of the masses.
Private e-mail is the key to success in online dating. Having ‘listened’ in or chatted in the forums you may have got an idea of a potential victim’s partner’s personality and want to risk giving it a shot.
Dating advice is only a guide – the final ingredient is your personality
We are all unique – many of those questions in the chat-rooms will have resonated with you at some level. But there will be more you want to know; different dating profiles will throw up dissimilar sets of questions you need to ask to get to know the wide-ranging personalities on your dating site – some questions you will have thought of, the majority will never have crossed your mind until you start filtering down the many thousands of men and women all concentrated in one area looking for some action.
You have to decide what level of action you’re looking for. Be prepared to have your ideas change once you’ve been using a dating platform for a while. Dating sites are great places to let your hair down and exercise the extrovert in you, who you usually keep under lock and key. By letting yourself go, you’ll discover what you really want. The only way you’re going to find what a perfect match wants is by asking them directly.
Unless you’re on an out and out casual dating site, you need to be a bit more subtle than ask other singles if they want to meet up and start a no-strings, (new) FWB relationship. No doubt mainstream dating does have members not averse to a little casual fun but, especially on matchmaking sites where there a 1,001 compatibility questions, members do try to build up a relationship online first before going out on a date and even then there is etiquette to follow – like definitely not sleeping with someone you’ve met online on a first date. They’re big communities, everyone talks, reputations can spread very quickly. Make sure the word gets out about your reputation, for sure – it will attract more potential dates – but make sure its for the reasons you signed up in the first place.
The other reason for asking lots of questions, other than to ensure the single is not all flannel and had someone write their dating site profile for them (you wouldn’t believe!), is that talking about yourself too much in your opening communiqué will give your potential partner the impression you’re conceited or boastful – that your whole world revolves around you and you’ve done everything that everyone else has with a yak on your back. Nothing will distance you from others more than being so far up your own xxxx self that you show no interest in others, rather, give the impression that it’s all about you.
So there endeth lesson one – asking the right questions will give you a better view of other singles and make them more willing to respond, if it seems someone else is showing genuine interest in them.