Asking right questions will prompt a dating e-mail response

Well, the weekend’s here, you’ve got your first dating site membership under your belt, spent an elaborate amount of time getting your dating profile looking just so and have probably browsed some of the other singles profiles to see if any of them catch your eye. Heck, you may even have a shortlist, already.

How you approach the other members on your chosen dating site(s) is key to you getting the best experience from online dating. There are a lot of people who have been using the Internet to find partners for an inordinate amount of time. They love it, may not want to commit to anything serious and enjoy the flirtatious nature of being in a public chat room where everyone has got the same aim. But to take your online relationship to the next level, you’re going to have to show a little more interest than commenting on a comment they have made in a thread of conversation in view of the masses.

Private e-mail is the key to success in online dating. Having ‘listened’ in or chatted in the forums you may have got an idea of a potential victim’s partner’s personality and want to risk giving it a shot.

Dating advice is only a guide – the final ingredient is your personality

 

We are all unique – many of those questions in the chat-rooms will have resonated with you at some level. But there will be more you want to know; different dating profiles will throw up dissimilar sets of questions you need to ask to get to know the wide-ranging personalities on your dating site – some questions you will have thought of, the majority will never have crossed your mind until you start filtering down the many thousands of men and women all concentrated in one area looking for some action.

You have to decide what level of action you’re looking for.  Be prepared to have your ideas change once you’ve been using a dating platform for a while.  Dating sites are great places to let your hair down and exercise the extrovert in you, who you usually keep under lock and key. By letting yourself go, you’ll discover what you really want. The only way you’re going to find what a perfect match wants is by asking them directly.

Unless you’re on an out and out casual dating site, you need to be a bit more subtle than ask other singles if they want to meet up and start a no-strings, (new) FWB relationship. No doubt mainstream dating does have members not averse to a little casual fun but, especially on matchmaking sites where there a 1,001 compatibility questions, members do try to build up a relationship online first before going out on a date and even then there is etiquette to follow – like definitely not sleeping with someone you’ve met online on a first date. They’re big communities, everyone talks, reputations can spread very quickly. Make sure the word gets out about your reputation, for sure – it will attract more potential dates – but make sure its for the reasons you signed up in the first place.

The other reason for asking lots of questions, other than to ensure the single is not all flannel and had someone write their dating site profile for them (you wouldn’t believe!), is that talking about yourself too much in your opening communiqué will give your potential partner the impression you’re conceited or boastful – that your whole world revolves around you and you’ve done everything that everyone else has with a yak on your back. Nothing will distance you from others more than being so far up your own xxxx self that you show no interest in others, rather, give the impression that it’s all about you.

So there endeth lesson one – asking the right questions will give you a better view of other singles and make them more willing to respond, if it seems someone else is showing genuine interest in them.

Dating site communication etiquette to follow for newbies

So, you’ve finally took the plunge and decided to give online dating a shot – why not? According to the latest figures, ten percent of all US citizens who regularly browse the wonder that is the world wide web have at least one dating site account!

Now all you’ve got to do is decide what comes next. How about opening up a line of communication with someone? That’s a great place to start. But, as with everything to do with looking for love online, there is protocol to follow and dating etiquette to consider.

If you’re either extremely opinionated like yours truly (you should read some of my other stuff on finance and insurance – I’ll never be a Tory-boy, that’s for sure) or don’t have the greatest command of the written language and struggle to express what you’re really thinking or feeling through the written word, piggybacking on conversations in the chat rooms where no one has got to know you yet may be considered bad form.

On casual dating sites, that probably is the way to go, but if you’re going mainstream, you want to break yourself into the crowd gently and let them get to know you before you start raining on anyone else’s parade. We do have another saying in The Black Country for that – it involves urination and deep fried potatoes, so is perhaps a tad uncouth in its literal translation for an upstanding blog like this, so we’ll leave it as raining and parade, to spare too many blushes.

Any-hoo, back to the point in question. Introduce yourself slowly and graciously by sending out polite, courteous e-mails. Make each one individual – can’t stress that enough – don’t just bulk-send the same e-mail to everyone! You’ll get a much better click-through and response rate if you mention something specific about the single’s dating site profile in your introductory message rather than carte blanche e-mail the same template to everyone who has a nice pair. Of eyes.

Over the next two days, we’ll look at a few ways you can make that first communiqué count, in order for you to get the best out of your dating site experience, have a bit of fun, and, by the time the first week’s out of the way, you’ll be wondering what all of the fuss was all about in the first place.

Watch this space for the rest of this week and into the weekend and we’ll have your little black book (if you’ve not got one, go fetch) so full of dates, you’ll be looking on Amazon for 2013 diary. How’s that for a promise? Until tomorrow, keep in touch with yourself. xxx