The tell-tale signs of dating scammers – in practise

The second blog I read that made me angry, (if you missed the first, click [here]) even though it was designed for amusement, and described a scenario that those new to dating sites may get embroiled in before they even know it, was from a MrLE to another female dating site user and blogger. Admittedly, she was bored so played along, but the gist of the story, in very broken English from said MrLE, was this…

He opened the conversation (all through private e-mail on the dating site) with “Hello Pretty Lady” – a dead giveaway to someone who is not who they purport to be; read our  Not the language of love article as to why – and it all sort of went downhill from thereon in. MrLE followed that up by describing our blogger, or rather a ‘ladyfriend’ who he supposedly had sitting next to him remarked that, our blogger was “smoking sexy” – I mean, c’mon.

The ‘ladyfriend’, with no voice of her own, strangely enough, wanted to know if our female blogger correspondent was into ladies. Having told MrLE a straight “No!”, it did no good whatsoever; he persisted by questioning the truth of her response, going on to explain that he had placed a bet with his ladyfriend, which he had now lost because he’d wagered that our blogger was not averse to a bit of same-sex female bonding.

This is another skill of the practised scammer, playing on sympathy, trying to get the unsuspecting single to show an Achilles Heel, which they will exploit if you show too much ankle.  Some, like this guy, are pretty obvious, but others can be a lot more subtle.

Despite our blogger’s shorter and shorter answers, MrLE kept on badgering her, even after she had stopped responding completely, using well practised lines to make his scenario seem plausible. In truth, 99.9% was probably fallacy, just a hopeful approach to get another dating site single engaged before entrusting himself to her further, which could have opened the door to heartstrings, purse strings and G strings, over a prolonged period.

MrLE even had the gall to follow up the day after to ask our blogger what sort of day she’d had; although, in all likelihood, he had very little memory of the exact conversation as he would have been on to pastures new the moment she stopped responding.

Needless to say, our seasoned dater was having none of it and gave MrLE short shrift, but I don’t think she realised that this was a genuine attempt by a scammer to engage – I bet he couldn’t believe his luck, at first. You can see from this illustration how someone new to dating would have felt pressured or obliged into keeping the conversation going, maybe even costing the newbie their membership as they abandoned the site in the urgent desire to rid themselves of this persistent nuisance, the likes of whom give the genuine world of online dating such bad press.

I obviously commented on the blog to let her know how lucky she had been and urged her to contact site admin immediately. She was savvy enough to sidestep this attack, but newbies perhaps wouldn’t have been so aware, or at the very least, got totally the wrong impression of online dating.

If you’ve not read the series The Money Pit of Online Fraud, please do so, especially if you’re new to this wonderful world of online dating, which is fun and can open up exhilarating friendships and, as the success stories will tell you, so much more.  Don’t let idiots like MrLE or Santa put you off, just learn the signs and, in the interest of others who may be newer to dating than you are, get site admin to at least check out their credentials and furthermore warn them that their conduct is unacceptable, if you feel you’ve been subjected to unreasonable behaviour.

Why dating sites can leave a sour taste in your mouth

Online dating can be quite disturbing if you’re new to it and you really aren’t sure what to expect after the initial sign-up process. It doesn’t matter how savvy you are at dating in the real world, regular dating site users can spot a chat-room virgin and country mile off.

Take two blogs I’ve read this week, whereupon two seasoned online daters had their eyes opened by two quite separate unexpected requests that had both bloggers bog-eyed at the outrageousness of the content in the questions asked by two people who were, if I may politely put it, chancers. However, read on and I’m sure you’ll think of a whole host of other names for these insidious dating site pests whose interference really does no good whatsoever for the image of online dating.

Sadly, this typifies the actions of irresponsible dating site users who, if their sexual persuasions are of an overtly lewd nature, they really ought to stick to sites that cater for their preferences and not interfere with mainstream singles who may occasionally stray from the straight and narrow with the help of a few chardonnays too many but would certainly keep that level of activity out of the public domain.

The first case in question was on a blog entitled ‘Confessions of a preacher’s daughter’. So, yes, you could guesstimate from the blog name that the young lady blogger was perhaps a little more worldly-wise than some. However, what ended up in her inbox certainly made her eyes water.

There was obviously some previous post history about a bloke that goes by the name of, ooh, let’s just call him Santa for the sake of this post. And because that’s his online dating persona, too.  It appears that he’d been off the radar for a while since our blogger had last blogged about him, but out of the blue she received an invite through her free dating site portal e-mail from said ‘Santa’, asking if she wanted to go to a party.

Knowing him of old, it transpires that she turned him down; however, she did receive a text from him later as he himself was reconsidering attending because of the distance of the party. The fact that it was a double gang-bang party – a point he’d not mentioned when asking said Preacher’s Daughter out on the date earlier – hardly seemed to phase him. Needless to say, being cut from a different cloth, she turned that one down, unreservedly.  You can perhaps see why dating site members of this ilk put serious daters off the online scene and, for the case in question, why Santa only comes once a year and when he does, never fails to empty his sack…

…join me tomorrow when the second tale of woe is much more disturbing – not graphically, as this mini-online dating saga turned out, but something a lot more deceitful, even more of a pestilence on Internet dating than sexual harassment. Yeah, bet you can’t wait; some good lessons in it and well worth the read. Keep in touch with yourself. xxx

Dating site content held in question. Pish!

I know I may be jumping in at the deep end or guilty of a knee jerk reaction but there’s a comment in the press – specific to dating sites – that says that we don’t blog enough content. Pish!

Alright, the guy who’s posted the article freely admits that, in his role checking out what dating sites actually offer their membership he doesn’t spend all of his working hours trawling their blogs to see what they’re writing. But for us dating sites that put a helluva lot of work into crafting our posts and trying to develop a theme and a purpose, you can see why we’d perhaps take offence at such a comment.

It is our strong conviction that words are the very essence of the Internet and healthy, enjoyable content serves two very distinct purposes. One is to satisfy the search engines in order to make our online dating facility visible to you, the singles public, to put the very best dating facilities firmly within your grasp.

And secondly, more importantly, the online dating industry is now a $2bn global industry – innovations, new technology, dating events such as iDate Miami – if it wasn’t for us bloggers writing about them here on our dating sites, how would you, avid reader, ever get to hear of the advances that are taking place?  And I’m not even going to start about the dating site security issues we’ve regularly covered in the interests of keeping the millions of singles safe from fraudsters who are only after one thing, and it’s not your modesty!

Matchmaking sites, for instance, are always tweaking their coupling algorithms and using new methods to bring singles together – hundreds of men and women with letters after their names scratching their heads in underground laboratories in order to help you meet Mr or Mrs Right. Their work would go unnoticed if we didn’t bring their amazing feats to your attention.

Would you, for example, be even aware that a relationship could be started by a dating site that matches you with a potential partner based upon your DNA? Okay, it’s not been scientifically proven that this method works any better than other scientific formulae applied to parship but it does have its own success stories, like any of the other mainstream dating sites.

See – you probably didn’t even know that a sample of your spit could do so much for you, did you? And this gentleman has the gall to say we don’t big up the content enough on our blogs! The very nerve of the man.

Please, show your appreciation – drop us a comment about our dating site content, or if there’s something you would like to see us write about that we’ve not covered already (use the search box, below – there’s not much we haven’t covered over the last six months, to be fair). Other than that, join me again tomorrow, where we’ll have some more riveting content to share with you, dear reader. Until then, adieu. And you won’t have come across that word anywhere else today, I’ll bet. x