Facial make up to blame for beer goggle bed-partners

Who is the biggest minger you’ve ever woken up next to? C’mon, there has to be a few skeletons in that old cupboard of yours, eh? No? I am surprised. Many a time whilst dating in Wolverhampton women have perched a pair of beer goggles on the end of my nose, put me to sleep, robbed my memory and set their badger on me to crap in my mouth whilst I’ve been asleep in their bed for the very first (and absolute last) time. And the money they’ve taken!

The least they could do is let me leave still wearing the beer goggles so I didn’t have to visualise the travesty of my actions. But oh no, they take them back and hide them in the morning, too, so that the full spectacle has unravelled behind heavy carbon ball-bearing eyeballs whilst Mr Brain, craving coffee, reminds me to find out which dating site this particular woman uses so that I can cancel my membership.

However, new research suggests that this habit of becoming extremely friendly whilst wearing Stella-specs is perhaps not all of my fault. And neither can it be said of the young ladies who have had the misfortune of meeting me when I’ve been ‘in beer’ that the terrible first date fumble has been entirely their fault – they ought to at least put a true photo on the dating site profile or not bring a less-than-pretty mate along with them to make them look good!

Sorry, yes – symmetry, my friends. Being Libran, I can identify with the results in the latest research carried out at Roehampton Uni – everything must be balanced in equal parts before it looks right. But there has been an association with a person’s ability to detect perfect symmetry and how they are drawn to love by la visage parfait.

Why do I never get invited to this sort of research panel: Dr Lewis Halsey was given charge of a study to determine how people react when judging another’s lines of symmetry and then adding alcohol to see where that got the students?

The result is that, when you’re sober, you can judge the aspects of a face and make a reasonable stab at assessing whether a partner is pretty or not. But by adding alcohol, those lines get bleary and the ability to make reasoned judgement disappears faster than your credibility once the lads find out. People cannot appraise symmetry when under the influence and, being mostly affable pups we assume (though on what grounds I’m unsure) that we like this person in a reciprocal way if they’re coming on to you or, as an older sexual deviant that ought to know better, if they’re not.

So, next time you wake up next to someone and your immediate thought is ‘WTF?’, you can always blame being pi-eyed on Pythagoras and look for the right angle to get out of there sharpish if she’s not acute little thing.

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Blue Monday let down on UK Dating sites

You’d think that, with so many millions now populating UK dating sites, finding your perfect partner would be an absolute piece of cake, and it should be. Then why, whilst browsing the multitudes of smiling faces of my target audience, is it proving to be such a hardship?

A for instance: the other night, got in from work, logged on to the old lappy, checked out the correspondence (to be fair, most of my GMail I’d either responded to at work, not that there was anything groundbreaking worth getting copped for by my boss, but you’ve just gotta check if you’ve had any dating site e-mails or PMs, innit?) and decided I wasn’t going to shift until I’d made contact with at least three new possibilities, which is not many, considering the dating site in question boasted in excess of a 7-figure membership.

I don’t know what you’re like when you first log on to your dating sites, but do you always start at the ‘new members’ bit, first? Then filter by age, sex (obviously – why else would we be on there?!?) and locality. And then, if there’s nothing in that ‘saved search’, expand it to the next one, with slightly wider parameters, no?

Brilliant feature, the ‘saved search’, which I must admit I’ve only found on paid dating sites, thus far, but it does save a hell of a lot of time, time that could be spent checking out the results, not creating the search itself. It’s a bit like going to a new town and not having to check out all of the bars before you decide which one to go into; if you know where your target audience is going to congregate, you waste less time (and money, especially in Birmingham, or other big cities) roaming the January streets date-less and can get straight to the action!

Anyway, back to the dating site dilemma of Monday evening – I don’t know whether it was just a slack night due to any potential new members saving the last of their cash for the last weekend before payday (Gosh, how long does it feel since we’ve been paid?) or whether Blue Monday just dashed the spirits of hopeful romantics nationwide, but it was slow.

Six hours later, with two empty bottles of Shiraz at my side, nothing. You can tell how bad it was: normally after one bottle, I’m sending invites to literally all new dating site members, but Monday, zip! Ah, well; let’s hope tonight brings a few more newbies, and this time, see if they spend a little more time over their dating site profiles to entice me to get in touch with them, without having to submit my liver to any more 13.5%ABV plonk! Happy dating!

Leading dating site targeting long term singles

Match.com are looking to revolutionise the way hopeful singles view their site by launching groundbreaking marketing to advertise its MatchAffinity.com long-term relationship aspect.

In a recent article here on dating.org.uk, we revealed how Match.com’s current dating site membership didn’t view ‘marriage‘ as part of the success story as much as that of its fiercest competitor in the dating market place, eharmony. This is a timely move by Match as its rival has just launched its own TV campaign, only last week, featuring British couples. It’s about time these corporations realised that UK dating represents a different target market than other global dating site communities.

From the start of next month, their ‘Going the distance’ campaign will bring real-life documentary clips filmed this month to our TV screens as part of the dating sites long-term relationship drive.

This will incorporate Mike and Alanna out on the road, complete with TV crew, as they seek the answers from genuine couples into their beliefs into the secrets that have kept them together for so long.

Get involved on your facebook app

In another move that sees the dating site world getting ever closer to social media, anyone who downloads the facebook app dedicated to this campaign can prompt the couple. Singles, more than ever, are drawing upon their constant use of social media platforms to get closer to other lonely hearts; Match.com have been exceptionally smart in leveraging this obsession to help promote this series of real-life ads.

UK online dating predicted to grow to £150M in just two years

Katie Sheppard, head of relationships in the UK and Eire, believes that singles who the company are trying to attract through this campaign would rather see real-life people than hand-picked actors. There is a very real association from the prospective audience, for which the creators of this revolutionary dating site campaign should receive the due plaudits.

This particular brand within the company’s portfolio really does drill down into hopeful singles details when they are completing their dating site profile. In an attempt to grow their UK dating market share, which they believe stands at between 50-60%, Katie believes the best way to do that is by letting the people who contribute to the “hundreds of success stories…every day” tell the story themselves.

And that’s a share of a pretty big pie; market analysts Mintel predict that, by 2014, the gross income of UK dating will represent a cool £150M. If you want to be a part of the online dating success story, search our top dating sites for compatibility in minutes.

Dating tips by the people for the people

There are very few diamonds in the rough in the world of online dating news. As alluded to in previous posts, there is too much black-hat ‘keyword stuffing‘ from poor-quality dating websites looking to fill their pages with ‘news’ illegible to anyone but the Google spiders; and then there are the global dating sites whose content is specific to their own product and does little to represent the online dating community outside of their own domain.

Lovestruck.com, however, is neither, providing quality, readable content that, as well as being insightful leaves you feeling better informed when you leave the site than before you first logged on.

In a recent post, they produced a guide for both sexes to literally hold your hand through the dating process, including tips for the build-up, the during and the after (to a point). So as not to totally plagiarise the writer’s content, the next few articles will compile a his, a hers, and a mutual ‘how-to-date-guide’ to ensure that, when you do meet that special someone on your dating site, you won’t let yourself down when your wooing hits the tarmac of reality.

So, without further ado, let’s take a look at what the guys and girls recommend in light of their own extensive (by their own admission) experience from the world of UK dating.

why should there be two sets of rules?

It is harder for gents to get dates, it has to be said. Yes, they have a reputation of actually being less fussy, but the flip side is that women are, by their very nature, more choosy. There are plenty of arguments as to why this should be, but the favourite answer seems to be one akin to the theory of natural selection. The female of the species, as well as being more deadly than the male, has to carry the offspring produced by any physical liaison.

According to those who know about such things, there exists a switch that dates back to Neanderthal times buried deep within the female psyche, nearly as hard to find as that infamous place first defined by Regnier de Graaf way back in 1672.  This mystical node maintains a standard below which women will not drop when appraising any potential father to their future children. Much like the G-Spot, this switch can, and often is, flipped on or off by the application of Vodka and/or Stella Artois.

However, that is not a subject for the first date – that will come much, much later (no, don’t say it, don’t even think it!). First, we’ll see how we can guide the ‘him’ through that first date, flicking all the right switches to warrant a second encounter…