Sex and its perceived importance in new relationships

Posted on February 18, 2012 by Dating

You can guarantee that if there’s a survey in the US for singles about the off- and online dating behaviour and it comprises 135 questions, there are going to be a fair few questions about sex thrown. Bless ‘em, the latest Singles in America quiz, posed to 5,000 dating site members by Match.com, didn’t disappoint.

There were the theoretical questions on the subject, such as: would you commit to someone you weren’t chemically attracted to? And there were the practical aspects for the genre, referring to limp libidos or just downright amateurish between the sheet experience transposing itself into the act. We’ll look at the theory side another day, but for this exercise, we’ll concentrate on the latter two physical aspects that could seriously jeopardise the longevity of an intimate association.

Would bad sex kill your relationship?

The jury were surprisingly split on this question with no runaway verdict either, in heterosexual or same sex relationships. However, the scenario of being with a lover who just didn’t do it for you between the sheets was slightly more of an issue for the women in both cases, according to the dating site survey.

Sorry, but here’s a bit of maths-exam stylee statistics to back that claim up.

Exactly half of straight women answered that a man who thought a G-spot may be a helping hand from a gay guy down the gym or similar asexual answer would be out the door before they got their slippers beneath the sofa. And 55% of lesbian women questioned said that if their partner was incapable of delivering the big O they would be out the door. No excuse, really, is there?

Men were slightly less concerned, with only 44% of straight fellas saying they’d terminate proceedings if their partner turned out to be motionless and non experimental whilst they were making the grandest of gestures to satisfy their carnal cravings. And slightly more than half of gay men attested that bad sex was the be-all and end-all, with 52% reckoning they’d be on their way if their man didn’t measure up on that score.

Again, as in Darling, dirty sex doesn’t mean you don’t have to wash it, there is disparity between the age ranges taken to task over the questions.

From the mix of those surveyed, the answers point towards bad sex being more of a deal breaker to the older generation than the young. Whilst less than four in ten people in their twenties said that bad sex meant bye-bye, nearly half of those in the sixties couldn’t live without their regular supply of quality sexual attention.

Is this because, whilst you’re so young, any shortcomings and misdemeanours are overlooked in the hope that there is time to improve? Or could it be that, by the time you reach your sixties, you’ve either learnt all you’re ever going to about the art of making love and/or you know it but can no longer deliver the necessary because of physical or emotional limitations?

Whatever the underlying reason, the first step to not letting poor sex ruin a relationship that can be otherwise quite beautiful is to be able to talk freely about the matter, and not let it become a taboo subject, easier just not to talk about and lock away in a cupboard than face head on. Take the problem at hand in hand, coax it, love it, nurture it and see what grows as a result.

Dating site turn offs – what not to share

Posted on February 18, 2012 by Dating

Match.com recently conducted its second Singles in America study which we ran an overview of here on dating.org.uk a little while ago with the promise of embellishment upon these bones of the online dating industry as and when they became available during the course of the month.

Enough time has passed, it seems, for the renowned doctors, therapists and dating sites scientists to have dissected this information, drawn their conclusions and put them together in some type of meaningful format for the US singles market.

With the US economy little better off than our own, it is fair to assume that the results will have some relevance to the UK dating scene – how much you will only be able to judge for yourself as we interpret the statistics and percentages proposed by the giant of global dating with perhaps just a nod of acknowledgment to the 5,000 US singles who took part in the gruelling 135 question survey.

So, now you know from whence the information was gleaned, let’s get stuck into the sub-categories. The scientists chosen each had relevant experience in their niche and in homage to the construction of the survey, those doctors and therapists and relation experts have all stuck to their own field in providing their summaries.

We start with an appraisal by Dr Justin Garcia, scientific advisor to the dating site for the last two years, of the aspects of your dating site profile and offline dating behaviour that is going to kill any relationship stone dead before it’s even inhaled its first romantic breath. In other words, the deal breakers. There are several, and some more relevant to singles in some age ranges of the dating site membership than to others.

Being of US origin, the results contain several percentages relating to the adjudged panel’s answers but I will do my best to refer to them only when necessary; that many figures in an article make the news look like a maths exam and only geeks like those. Apologies to all the geeks, but that’s just not on.

In the following articles, we’ll take on board what US singles will just not put up with in their partners; article 2 will get their views on hygiene, article 3 will be about communication and bedroom Olympics – yeah, like trying to get a man to talk after sex in the UK dating scene’s ever gonna happen. Link to article two, here; article three – if you want forget about the dirty bits and just get straight down to the, well, dirty bits, here on Sunday, along with parenthood and distance relationships. See you over the page.

Darling, dirty sex doesn’t mean you don’t have to wash it

Posted on February 18, 2012 by Dating

With the global dating industry worth $2bn, according to one recent study, it is safe to assume that whilst chatting to prospective partners you will come across many singles who just don’t do it for you. Sometimes you just can’t put your finger on why you’re not taken with another single, whereas other times it’s just staring you (and everyone else) in the face, except the lovelorn single who’s having no luck with any of his or her dating sites.

These instances, these absolute no-no’s, are called the deal-breakers in America speak. Details in one recent study conducted by Match.com of 5,000 of its membership suggest that there are many, but some deal-breakers are more equal than others.

Hygiene, to you and me, is just one of those things that you do. You may not feel like it sometimes, but you know how devastating it would be not only to your love life but to your career and social standing if you let these standards slip. Especially if you are a very pristine (that’s a nice way of saying vain) person who takes better than average care of the way they look. And smell.

Unsurprisingly, the unkempt person was berated by all age ranges in the Singles in America study, but there was most definitely a pattern. For the youngest bracket in the survey, the twenty-somethings, only 55% of them said that someone who was lax in their appearance would be a definite write-off as a date. Take the same query to the other end of the scale, the baby boomers, and hygiene matters a whole lot more. If you let your cleanliness slip when you reach retirement, you will have isolated yourself from a massive 8 out of 10 seniors in your age range on your dating site. According to those figures, expectations raise considerably with age.

The general feeling toward the scruffy single is that, if they cannot put together a smart appearance to attract someone in the first place, what consideration are they going to show to anyone unfortunate enough to give them a try on their dating site? Okay, it may be a habit that a partner slips into once you’ve been together for a while and they become illness- or unemployment-stricken, but when you’re setting out down the dating path and you encounter this type of offensive filth, you do not want to have to explain the importance to someone who should know better at their age.

To be fair, if they have been poorly or just got back into work, they may not have noticed their standards slip, and you may want to risk having a discreet word with them early doors about the problem. How they react to your suggestion will obviously determine whether you continue dating them, or not. If they are ignorant of their hygiene, you may want to risk it. If they react badly, they are possibly in denial – that’s up to you then to decide whether they possess the maturity to change or whether you let them go figure it out for themselves and leave it to the next member of your dating site community to find out whether they made good on any promises.

Drive wipe facility not available on dating site hard drive

Posted on February 17, 2012 by Dating

Following on from the report of how Grindr was embarrassingly easily hacked last month and the effect that the release of such information, if the hacker chose to download and distribute it, would have on the dating site’s members, our next two articles look at how you may want to delete your information. This sounds like a great idea, but there are two problems with actuating that decision.

The first indirect problem is in itself twofold. If, having been the victim of a bitch campaign or been warned about your dating site activity if you hold a position of responsibility within the community or at work, yet you want to carry on using your site, you can choose to delete your ‘you’ profile and create an alter-ego to continue using the service.

The first issue with this scenario is proving your ‘other self’ as an entity if someone who is attracted to your dating site profile requests you to do so. By creating an imaginary online persona you are inadvertently mirroring the steps taken by scammers worldwide. You may also be in breach of the dating site’s guidelines by doing this, but that’s not the real problem. You are rendering the security facilities being adopted by the world of online dating globally, which allow users to align their dating profiles with an online verification of their identity. The first biggie we reported on was Trusted Faces but there are more coming along as the growth of scammers mirrors the increase in volume of new dating site sign-ups.

Even if you do eventually choose to create a new profile using an adopted name, which, to be successful in any real sense, has to incorporate an image that is at least a little like you, you can still be Geo-tagged. More about that in the following article.

But the second real issue is the deletion of your original account. According to one recent study, facebook retains your photographs for two and a half years on its servers after you have deleted your account. And they’re not alone in doing this. Dating sites the world over are guilty of the exact same practise. Their excuse for doing so has its core in the fact that, should the member’s relationship not work out, they may well want to reactivate the account they cancelled due to their change in circumstances.

As was the case in September last year when a judge ordered the release of Twitter and facebook passwords so that evidence could be presented of infidelity in a divorce court, the dating site’s privacy policies will not protect you by not sharing your information if the law comes knocking. Putting the two together, the longevity dating sites hold your data and their inability to stave off legal access to that information, you are warned here and now that anything you do or say, drunk or sober, on your dating or social networking site may be used against you (or someone else) in a court of law long after you have deleted your account.

The moral is, be careful what you say in the public domain – one day it may just come back and bite you on the ass when you’re least expecting it. Next up – steps to take to avoid this dilemma.

Hoping for more than just connections on LinkedIn

Posted on February 15, 2012 by Dating

Have you ever used LinkedIn? If you have and know how it works, how’s about putting together an easy-to-follow guide e-book and firing a copy over this way? Okay, that may take some time, but have you checked it out this year yet? No, me neither.

Apparently, for the last month, there has been a shoot-off site ‘Hitch.me’ which draws upon your LinkedIn profile information and searches your network to find you a partner. Yep – a dating site for the working professional.

I have to be totally honest, considering it’s a networking site for the organised businessman and -woman, I’ve found it haphazard and the navigation – well, I think Uncle Albert was in charge when they planned that.

But that’s the main site. According to one recent report, members are ‘flocking’ to the dating site version – 2,000 members having signed up already in the month it’s been live.

However, there are already reports of one issue that all of the top dating sites have had to contend with and subsequently figure a way around: Hitch.me is already showing a bias towards the number of male sign-ups, with the men outnumbering the women six to four in these early stages. We may soon see half-priced credits for women to redress this balance.

What the dating site does have in its favour, and this is prevalent in the reported statistics to date, is that the worry of dating someone with a job is more or less negated. Because of the way the ‘connections’ works on LinkedIn, anyone who claims to be working at XXX Plc can soon be verified by someone else on the site working for the same company in the member’s extended network, providing that the a.n.other responds to your invitation to connect, that is.

Hitch.me carries the LinkedIn business metaphor through into dating land with many of its features. Instead of sending a video message, you send your intended partner a ‘presentation’, which is paid for in ‘credits’ – 100 for this service. You can also ‘pitch’ a prospect for 50 credits. So, by my maths, two pitches and one presentation and the 200 credits you get for signing up, that’s your cashflow blown.

But it’s not such a bad system – whereas paid dating sites charge a monthly fee in perpetuity, whether you use their service or not, Hitch.me only deducts credits from your account when you use them. And at $10 for 300 credits or 2,500 credits for $50, that’s not a bad ROI in anyone’s books if you score with some of the more high-flying users who have signed up to the stand-alone site, which has been rubber-stamped by LinkedIn. In the same report, it relates that 51% of the new dating site members are on $100k per annum plus salaries…

…guys, I’ll be back later; just off to see what I’ve done with my LinkedIn password…sure I wrote it down here, somewhere…

Dating sites not necessarily the key to dating down under

Posted on February 13, 2012 by Dating

Last week, we concentrated solely on getting you up and running on your dating site for Valentine’s Day so this week we’re going to move away from the UK dating scene and have a look at what’s going on around the rest of this marble we’re on.

We’ll start off as far away as possible, if that’s okay? No, not Inverness – Australia. Specifically Queensland and how their dating world has changed since online dating lost its cloak of indecency but, more specifically, since 46% of Australians, according to one recent study, have Smartphones with Internet access.

It’s not just dating sites that are being utilised to find a perfect match in minutes, either, and those are very real-time turn-around estimates. As both sexes of the Queensland 18-34 populace turn on a more regular basis to online dating and social media for their technological courtship, Facebook status recognition is being used as a barometer to check out whether your friends are up for a night out or whether they’re officially off the market.

After just three dates, a third of the younger singles are changing their circumstances to ‘in a relationship’ and twenty percent are just as quick to announce their single status as soon as the relationship they’re in has ran its course.

However, there are all the usual warnings of dating online, specifically from residents of Queensland sceptical of the medium. Between the lines, there is a pressing urge for global dating site security to become a legality rather than a recommendation, a view shared the world over. This may be one of the reasons why the same report found that many of the singles are playing hard to get, a wise move until you are assured of the identity of the person you meet (and fall for) on your dating platform.

Yet, there are still many signs that traditional dating is still very much en vogue, down under. Despite more singles opting for the dating sites to make initial contact, a Mills and Boon survey suggests that a whopping 91% of women still prefer their man to actually call them to ask them out on a date rather than rely on a text message to announce their official interest.

And the majority of Australian women still hold their love lives dear, looking for long term commitment rather than a quick fling. According to Michelle LaForest, MD of Harlequin Enterprises Australia, for the many women turning to dating sites, retaining that balance is proving to be a challenge; rather, her comments suggest that after the initial online dating experience, women still prefer the traditional dating methods of a ‘real life’ encounter.

Let your dating profile picture tell its own story

Posted on February 10, 2012 by Dating

In the UK dating arena, unlike many other global dating site platforms, profile pictures are critical to the amount of click-throughs and e-mails you get from your prospective audience. Certainly on the Continent, it is the words that matter, even your name can be the difference between whether you’re a dating site genius or utter online dating disaster.

Filtering this aspect of your dating site profile further, there are profile pics that work and those that don’t.

Before we go into the whys and wherefores, when you’re choosing your photograph, think about why you joined the dating site in the first place. Did you just want a quick fling then drop your partner like a ton of bricks come February 15th? Is a fling not your thing? Is it a long-term partner you’re after, a sugar daddy, a cougar, a toy-boy or sugar baby? Your photograph, like the old adage goes, paints a thousand words and it will determine the type of character that visits your profile.

Needless to say, if you’ve followed this week’s articles and set about finding the perfect dating site, choosing the aspects from other peoples profiles that suit you (and turned them into your own words, of course!) and found a membership package that’s ideal, do not let your picture spoil all of the rest of your hard work.

A couple if tips gleaned from past studies: guys, look smart, comb your hair, shave and brush your teeth – yes, even for your photo. You may well have had sixteen pints the night before you’ve asked your mate to come around to take a decent photo, but that cannot show through in your image. A good quality digital camera image that you can crop and resize, depending upon your dating sites perameters and storage limits, is what you need.

And ladies, a similar message applies. One golden rule – do NOT wear too much make up – guys genuinely like to see the real you, the one that they’ll wake up to every morning. They do not want to see a Beatties make-up assistant whose skin resembles that of the Tango Man and whose eye-lashes and -lids are that thick with mascara and shadow, it could be anyone hiding beneath the war paint.

And, ladies, if you do use a professionally shot photograph, beware that it doesn’t look too contrived. It will convey the message that you and you alone are the most important thing in your life; if a shot looks too polished and you will attract no one if your image is too domineering or ma suggest ‘high maintenance’ from the outset.

Of course, the more up to date the better, but recent studies have shown that women’s photos tended to be from eighteen months ago, whilst men’s are half a year old. But keep them fresh. Remember, non-paying members may only have access to that one single profile picture and not your entire gallery. And singles, to entice them to sign up to dating sites, like an array of different images – your perfect partner may have passed over your image a dozen times but then homes in on a you taken from another angle!

There’s much more on site about dating site profiles if you put that term in the search box. More about profile creation, next.

Choosing the right dating site user name

Posted on February 10, 2012 by Dating

We continue with your quest to get up and dating, at least to get online dating in time for Valentine’s Day, even if getting any physical action this late in the day may be pushing a little. But, there are plenty of free dating sites out there that allow you to sort and browse singles by location, such as the one on our home page at dating.org.uk, so you may well get lucky.

So, just in time for the weekend, we’ll conclude today with three articles in brief that follow on from choosing the right dating site and what type of dating site membership is right for you.

In order to keep this as short and sweet as possible, today’s posts will be introductions, an overview, if you will; there are other articles on here that go into each topic in more detail, whereby there’ll be a hyperlink to relevant content within dating.org.uk for you to expand on these insights.

Choosing the right user id for your dating site

Each and every member on your dating site will have a unique user id or user name, which keeps their sign-in unique and allows you to find them and know who you’re getting mail from. You, likewise, have to choose your matchmaking moniker.

There is nothing inherently wrong with using your own name, but for security’s sake, you are strongly advised not to. If someone hacks the server of the dating site and gets hold of sections of information, you do not want to give them the last piece of the jigsaw by offering your real name on a plate. Also, if you have an abstract real name and you want to keep your dating site usage personal, i.e. not let anyone at work in on your secret, it is best to keep your real name out of the public domain as much as is humanely possible.

Also, there are some names that just do not work on dating sites, proven beyond doubt, in both hemispheres. In Europe, eDarling.de found that Dennis, Kevin, Chantal and Celina’s weren’t having their profiles browsed or e-mails opened as often and in New Zealand, Barry, Jacqueline and Angela came in for the same treatment on findsomeone.

Funny, as in subtle or witty, work quite well if you’re thinking of making up your user name; whereas funny as in corny (Ivor Biggun, for example) just does not, relating a childish sense of humour and that you’re not taking this dating lark altogether seriously. And those that lean towards smut, such as NineInchNigel will be given short shrift, likewise.

Not so much on the UK dating scene, but certainly in Europe, your name carries a lot of weight, as do the words in your profile. In the UK, the emphasis of your picture is relied on heavily and promoted as such on dating sites, whereas elsewhere its the words in your profile that pack the biggest punch.

More about your photo, up next.

Learn to love ‘copy and paste’ for your dating site profiles

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Dating

One of the things that you soon get to learn about paid dating sites is that the information they ask you for at sign up can be a lot more than you’ve been used to filling in on the free dating sites. This is even moreso the case when you join a matchmaking site – those that compare your personal information with its other membership and, based on a scientific algorithm or other compatibility method, will pair you up with whom ever their calculations see fit.

A quick word, here. You may have read about dating sites that employ relationship experts and dating coaches. These are very real and are growing in popularity for the lovelorn single who’s working hard building up their nest-egg and doesn’t necessarily have time to do all the searching themselves for a date, but has the money to pay someone else, namely your dating coach, to do the groundwork on their behalf.

If you have the cash to hand to accommodate this facility, then great, but we’re talking serious wedge for that personal touch where you get a one-on-one session with the site’s resident expert. It does take the algorithmic guesswork out of the equation, as they will have spoken to all of the members on their dating site in the same confidential manner. We’ll discuss those at then end of the week, but if you want to find out a little more in the meantime, just enter ‘relationship experts‘ in the onsite search facility on the home page and it will bring up all the relevant articles on our site out of the 200+ posts, to date.

Going back to the Mental note article, this is where you need your notepad that you wrote down all of the good stuff from the other members’ profiles you browsed, earlier. Only this time, re-write your profile based on the key issues that define you in your word processing software (MS Word, notepad, roughdraft, NoteTab, etc.) and save the file somewhere you can access it easily. Also, you can set your browser to remember your ‘autofill‘ information – this will save a lot of time when filling out the basics of your membership application. But never store your card payment details – most browsers allow you to deselect that information when indicating what you want storing in your cache.

You can then copy and paste this information for every dating site you sign up to. Every site has a theme, so you may just need to tweak the odd word or ten, but it’s better than writing 1,000 words every time you sign up to a new dating site. Okay, that’s it for today. Back tomorrow with more about dating sites and what you need to know to get you that date for Valentine’s Day!

Mental note: what stands out in their dating site profile?

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Dating

As we touched on in yesterday’s articles, one of the very real downsides of free dating is the fraudulent aspect of dating site profiles that are scam artists looking to put a wedge between you and your wallet. Paid dating sites present stumbling blocks that will keep the opportunist scammer at bay. The more hurdles a dating site places in the way, the less inclined any one other than genuine love-seekers are to jump them. The obvious downside to that is, as you’re starting out online dating, do you really want the headache of filling in form after form, profile after profile?

Well, here’s a tip that you can implement before you start filling in any dating site profiles. Take a notepad (the offline kind – real paper and pencil [yeah, I know - shock, horror! - actually write?!?!?]) and, as you’re browsing, start making notes about all of the things that really stand out about other members’ posted information that either makes you step back, smile or shudder. If you’re having that reaction, you can bet so will many others who view your profile.

Online dating is all about selling yourself, one-upmanship over the competition. Don’t try to be someone else – you’ll soon be found out by the older hands – but learn to emphasise your good points. More about that when we look at dating site profiles in more depth.

Besides that, even though you may think you have a better chance of attracting a higher class of dating prospect, if you exaggerate too much, one of two things will happen.

First, your date could be a great success, but the person with whom you’ve connected may be looking for the persona you’ve created, not the real you. Down the line, you both may become disheartened with the relationship and back at square one, all your time and money wasted.

Or secondly, the date could be a disaster. Dating sites have chatrooms and e-mail; any faux pas or outright lies that you tell can be all around your site before you’ve even put the key back in your front door, if your unsatisfied partner has done their duty by the other members and shown you up for what you really are: a charlatan and a fraud!

Paid membership dating sites help screen you from scams

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Dating

Yesterday we looked at the benefits and down sides of choosing a free dating site to get you a date in time for Valentine’s Day. Today, we’ll continue looking at which dating site is right for you by looking at the two main types of paid online dating facilities.

There’s an old adage: there’s no such thing as a free lunch. I’m yet to meet anyone in a business sense that’s proved that theory wrong. Even if you think your dating site is free, someone somewhere will be making a buck out of you down the line, even if it’s just on their PPC (pay per click) advertising that runs alongside the ‘portfolios you can check out for free’ from another, more well-known dating site,your free dating site webmaster will be earning off your presence, even moreso if you buy a product such as an online dating guide that they’re an affiliate for.

With paid dating sites, you get little or no advertising from the more reputable brands. However, some are more equal than others and the only way you’ll ever really find out which paid service definitively suits your needs is by signing up to them. But we hope to outline a few benefits int the following articles that will help you differentiate which ones are worth throwing a few bob at if you’re serious about finding a compatible partner online.

The keyword in paid online dating membership is the word ‘paid’. You have to place a value, per month, on what you feel is worth paying to find your perfect partner online. There tends to be a bit of a jump from zip to around the £15-£30/month mark. You may soon find that, although free sites are good for a giggle, the advertising does get infuriating after a while. More of that than profiles.

Be realistic about what you can afford. If you push the boat out for a £50/month membership, bearing in mind that many dating sites may only offer you a subscription in blocks of three, six or twelve months, are you going to leave yourself short? The last thing you need, come Valentine’s Day, is that you’ve connected with a potential partner online, but you’ve blew all of your dating money on the membership fee to meet them in the first place! By setting a fee that you’re comfortable with, you will already have started to narrow down the search for potential Internet dating sites that you’ll end up signing up to.

Okay – found a dating site. What next?

Posted on February 7, 2012 by Dating

One of the key deciding factors about the dating site you choose is if it’s a facility that allows you to do a local search. Most, even the free dating sites (a word about them later), have give you the option to locate a prospective partner within easy reach. It’s no use falling in love with someone from Adelaide in time for Valentine’s Day. Even if you can stretch to the cost of the flight, getting the time off work and even booking a flight so late in the day may be an issue to get you there in a week.

In all honesty, we would not advise jetting off half way around the world to meet someone you’ve only known for a few days chatting on a dating site anyway, purely because of the risk factor involved and the danger you may be unwittingly putting yourself in. You will soon learn, either by using your dating site directly, from the forums or via the bounteous knowledge we have posted on dating.org.uk under the tag online dating security that not everyone you meet online is in fact who they say they are

How serious are you about dating online?

There are, in essence, three main types of dating site, with regard to cost. There are free dating sites, mainstream paid dating sites and high-end dating sites, whereby as long as you have the money, your dating site will do everything apart from actually go on the date for you.

We’ll conclude today’s articles with a look at free online dating, it’s positives and negatives and then take a peep at the two types that you’d need to shell out for tomorrow: Should I pay to find my love online?

Free dating sites are great for getting to know the ropes, availing yourself of the types of facilities that you’d expect to find to help you find your Valentine’s Day date online for zero cost. If you’re only looking for a partner for a special occasion and you’re not a paid member of any other dating facility (or the one you’re on is not cutting the mustard), then these sites can be your get-out-of-jail-free card.

Many paid dating sites also have a free section, where you can check out the calibre of their membership (you may only get access to one photo at this level, though), perhaps who’s in your area and, quite obviously, they’ll show you just enough of their website to entice you to put your hand in your pocket and pay for the upgraded facility.

The pitfalls of free dating up next: The common downsides of the free online dating service

Keep your target in your dating sites range

Posted on January 27, 2012 by Dating

Online dating has changed the way people perceive dating forever, that goes without saying. But, according to one recent report, many dating site members are connecting as much through the forums or chat-rooms on their dating sites as they are via direct hits on their profile. Today, we look at why this may be the case.

Your dating site profile is there to be shot at, if you like, as a target to draw in the fire that you will either pick up and run with or leave drowning in the trenches, dependent upon who’s doing the shooting. You can control your returning salvo of responses but can do very little about who’s taking the initial pop-shots at this ‘stand-alone’ target. Yes, you can make that dating profile scary as hell, but then is the creation of your online persona a self-defeating exercise by wording it thus, putting people off contacting you, rather than attracting them?

The tables are very much turned in the forums where you choose to jump in to conversations either because you know about the subject or because you have someone else who’s joined in the thread very much in your own sights. This gives you the chance of targeted response, which will put off people from contacting you who have little value to add to the proven existing knowledge exhibited via your comments.

Don’t ask me why, but men get quite squeamish when they think that women are more knowledgeable about a subject than they are. It’s true. Even when it comes to make up or other ‘girly-girl’ subjects, men still have this inherent belief that they have a rite to be right about everything. If you, as a lady within the confines of your chat-room, can show unequivocally that you are a domineering force on la journal du jour, only male members who have what they believe to be a justifiable opposing view or can add further to your own enlightened comments will respond. Hence, eradicating the dweebs and instigating conversation with someone who you can go on to develop a relationship with via the exchange of mind-fodder, in the first instance – you may very well find you have much more in common and start dating as a result. Result!

A word of warning for the ladies on this matter, though. If you are joining a thread purely to scout someone who you have developed a passing fancy to, don’t be tempted to rain on their parade in a topic they’ve commented on, going in all guns blazing, just because you know you can to prove your feminine superiority! Another self-defeating dating tactic, if ever there was one.

Rather, assess their opinion and, providing that they’re not too far off the mark from your own beliefs, support their point with empathy (not sympathy) and win their trust through this proven stealth tactic. If you do have heavy feelings for the thread topic but you had to bite your literary tongue when composing your response, wait a while before there is the strength in the relationship to support the weight of your conviction before you drop it into the mix.

Be yourself to find a true match on your dating site

Posted on January 22, 2012 by Dating

It’s fair to say that online dating has revolutionised the way singles look for love. No longer the perceived retreat of weirdos and men in thick glasses wearing long macs, dating sites offer a convenient way to search online for that significant other who has, up to this point, eluded you along the humdrum path of everyday life.

For many, especially those who work in big cities and ‘enjoy’ the pleasure of the rush hour commute or crammed trains that, although full of potential dates are, like you, not disposed to flirtation when you have the collar of a soggy mackintosh up your left nostril and a sharp-ended umbrella sticking – well, let’s not go there – the thought of getting ready to go out to meet someone during the week is the furthest complication from your mind. That’s where dating sites notch up a result every time. But how does the prospective dater set about finding the perfect dating site when there are so many to choose from?

It’s not such a bad idea to check out a few of the free dating sites to see what sort of information you need to gather about yourself before you start approaching more experienced members of the online dating community who may have been around the block a few times. The last thing that other members want is to be bombarded with messages that break every protocol and etiquette in the unwritten rules of online dating. No, I’ve not got a copy – they’re unwritten; you just have to learn them as you go. And, like local dialects, every dating site has a slightly different variation to the first edition!

In the long term, if you are looking for someone with whom you can build up a genuine off-screen relationship (it’a great chatting online, but remember the ultimate goal is to find a partner), it is worth signing up for a paid dating site. Not only do you have access to a whole range of upgraded features, which really let you filter through prospective partners, but paid services also give you access to members who are, like you, willing to put their money where their mouth is.

This will help you to drop those who are not exactly what you’re looking for in order to find a genuine match to get the best results for an off-screen relationship.

Once you have browsed the dating profiles and got down to two or three who you think will make your online dating experience worthwhile, do not try to be someone you’re not. In order to improve your chances of making any type of courtship blossom, you must attract another single who likes you for who you are, not what you think you should be!

To find your perfect match and start your online dating journey, check out our hand-picked dating sites to give you the best possible start.

From chatrooms to honeymoons via a dial-up connection

Posted on January 16, 2012 by Dating

Online dating has changed, with record numbers of members and many dating sites struggling to cope with the demand after the chaos of Christmas has turned many disheartened married individuals to look online for love in the face of a tough festive break at home.

Would they have availed themselves thus, back in 1994, when e-mail was nothing more than something else to burden you with at work and mobile phones roughly the size of a house brick needed 12 hours a day to charge for ten minutes worth of calls? Well, for one couple from the US, that’s just what happened. Carrying on from ‘Did AOL pave the way for today’s dating sites?, we conclude Arnie and Tricia’s love story, and why you shouldn’t have a problem findiing your perfect partner online with the advances in dating technology now at your disposal.

The image of dating sites has changed beyond all recognition

In the same article about Arnie and Tricia Belfonti it goes on to list just how the perceptions of your standard dating site has changed. As we entered the new millennium, 2001 saw match.com boasting a membership of 220,000. Back then, when you consider how few people were online at all let alone online dating, that was some achievement. But compare that to the figure the article quotes the mainstream dating site has now, 1.9 million as of 2012, they’ve almost increased tenfold in the decade hence. That’s astonishing.

Startstruck lovers met offline

Compare the attitude now to how it was back then, and you’ll get some idea of just how much our appreciation of dating platforms has changed.

Arnie and Tricia stopped chatting on the forum – there were no profile pictures, then, just a bio of your age, what you did for a living and where you did it – when Arnie found out that Tricia was already seeing someone.

By the time they met at a party for AOL members in New Haven, where Tricia was wearing a name tag to identify herself to someone else she’d been talking to on the social platform, Tricia was single, but Arnie instantly recognised her moniker. The rest is now dating folklore. A month and a half after that fateful meeting they were engaged, one year on they tied the knot and are still together now.

They were, perhaps one of the very first online dating successes, in an industry now reportedly worth $2bn a year, globally.

If a couple could meet under those conditions and still be going strong, what’s stopping you, with all the advances in technology dating sites have adopted since then?

See if you can find your potential Arnie or Tricia, using our hand-picked dating site facility to meet your perfect partner in minutes.

Did AOL pave the way for today’s dating sites?

Posted on January 16, 2012 by Dating

Oh happy days – I’ve just read a success story about a couple who met on AOL back in 1994 – the American media giant were at the forefront of Internet technology in the early days, when you couldn’t use the Internet because you were expecting an important phone call and the modem and said phone shared the same dial-up connection to your landline.

Of course, dating sites were very much in their infancy, back then, and were looked upon as dark and seedy places to frequent. Your AOL chat-room information was your dating site profile, back then, the forerunner to the large, branded dating sites we know and love today.

Chatrooms paved the way for today’s dating sites

Much as you log on to your dating site now, upon receiving a notification in your private inbox to check out the dating profile of someone who’s winked you, back then, the equivalent seeing the “You’ve got mail” pop-up was worth popping the cap of a beer in itself.

I was a very late devloper, when it came to learning about the Internet and am still, by no means what you’d call expert. However, I still get, on average, 35 e-mails a day (not all from dating sites - I’d be too knackered to write about them if they were!).

Back then, if you got five e-mails a day, you could consider yourself not just popular but at the height of the social ladder. Not everyone had e-mail – or even a computer – and you were part of an exclusive set if someone from The States had responded to one of your posts in the AOL chatroom.

Just compare that with how many times you tweet, post to your wall our send e-mail after e-mail or a flood of PM’s to your online dating prospect. They’ve not reinvented the wheel, the dating sites of today, but they’ve certainly put a shiny, new hub-cap on it. More about Arnie and Tricia, in the next article.

A night in on the pull

Posted on January 13, 2012 by Dating

So many singles these days are turning to dating sites to find their one true love, rather than hanging out in wine bars and clubs to achieve the same. I can’t say I blame today’s dating hopefuls – so many bad decisions fuelled by Stella Artois and G ‘n’ T’s, it makes me shudder just thinking about it.

That certainly is one advantage online dating has over picking up a potential bedfellow in a bar. It’s the old joke: when you went to bed, your partner was stunning; when you woke up the next morning, you were stunned!

Yes, beer-goggles have a lot to answer for, whereas dating sites give you time and space to step back and reconsider your actions if you have had a few too many when your ‘winking‘ everyone who as a nice pair of eyes as you polish off your second bottle of Pinot Grigio

Thinking about it, of the gang of us that used to go clubbing together, not one of us is with someone we met whilst we were ‘out on the pull’.

And we didn’t have dating sites, then – it’s a wonder we’re not all single and childless. If I analyse our group, I’d have to say the majority of us (there are one or two who still play the field and have escaped the claws of marriage) met our long-term partners either through work, school (yep – we’ve got a couple of childhood sweethearts in our gang, still going strong – stronger than most, probably) or someone ‘fixed us up’.

You just don’t hear that turn of phrase, any more, do you? Ooh, the excitement when someone came rushing over, hardly able to contain themselves, blurting out with major indiscretion: “Sarabeth fancies you…do you want me to fix you up?” Ah, ’twas the deputy head’s daughter, too – that’d gotta hurt when I said yes…
…anyway, I think ‘hook up’ is probably today’s closest equivalent in dating site speak, to getting that special someone out on that first date.

Dating sites the world over welcome new members every day by their thousands; why not, instead of going through all of the hassle of getting ready on the off chance of picking someone up and getting through fifty quid as you traipse, in desperation, from bar to bar and end up getting a taxi home – on your own – treat yourself to a four pack or bottle of your favourite plonk and search safely through our hand-picked dating sites, knowing that whoever you decide to date online for the evening, you’re not going to find a moose in your bed the next morning, when you were expecting to find your dreamboat or princess!

Dating – not like it used to be

Posted on January 13, 2012 by Dating

Online dating – to some a mystery but to the millions of dating site members across the globe, a lifeline to the outside world.

It has proved a perfect platform for those who would be otherwise unsure when it comes to approaching new friends, as well as purely for the purpose of dating.

For those not used to using such a facility, there are many out there to choose from and they all provide something a little different.

Whether you’re a teenager taking the first tentative steps in the world of dating, a seasoned dater looking for your next conquest or one of the baby-boomers looking for the chance to go around again, there will be a whole host of dating sites for you.

Gone is the mystique surrounding these types of platforms. Whether you’re just using online dating for a bit of flirting or practising relationship building on the free dating sites or are willing to commit to 3- or 6-month sign-ups if you’re serious about finding your one true love ‘until death do us part’, you won’t be disappointed with the choices we’ve put together for you here at dating.org.uk.

It’s no wonder dating sites are gathering such huge client bases – there are the mainstream dating sites which match you based on an algorithmic function using personality traits that you enter into your dating site profile about yourself and the type of single you’re looking to start dating – or rather, think you are; many of us don’t know what our true match is until we start building relationships online.

If you’re looking for something out of the ordinary, there are sites for that, too. Many college girls, rather than get a job to see them through the last years in education become Sugar Babies and hook up with older, wealthy gentlemen who furnish them with gifts to see them through, often in return just for going out with them to lunch and functions as a trophy girlfriend, or other times a little bit more is expected in return – I’ll leave that to your imagination!

You can even get dating sites as an app, via which you can utilise your phone’s GPS system to get a date in your local vicinity once you’re out and about.

And for those who have a lot of money to spend and want to ensure they have the right level of service or work long hours and just don’t have the time to date, there are the high-end dating sites which, after a one-to-one assessment, can take all the hassle out of dating for you and organise an initial introduction – after coaching you – before you get to take that special someone out for the first time.

Yes, the way we’re dating is changing, of that make no mistake; check out our dating sites, to see which type is right for you. Happy hunting!

Who’d be a relationship expert?

Posted on January 10, 2012 by Dating

Now here’s a job that can either be a breeze or a right royal pain in the ‘arris: the relationship expert.

Don’t laugh – it’s a real job and you can even take a degree in it. What’s more, people on high-end dating sites are paying top dollar to use their service when they sign up to these exclusive dating sites. Talk about taking the hassle out of dating!

Relationship, or dating experts act like a human algorithm, talking to each and every client to assess their individual needs. This can be everything from arranging a bespoke program or, for the more experienced dater, just the best way to get the most successful experience from their facility.

I mean, we’re talking sizeable fees for the big city boys and girls who work hard, long hours and just don’t have the freedom to put the time and effort into their love lives in the same way that they do their high-profile jobs. So, yes, they can afford the personal touch that this type of all-in dating site offers, which is not cheap and pretty much out of the range of anyone who’s not got a couple of thousand dollars spare at the end of every month.

Entry level fees differ, to suit your needs

There are usually different entry levels; if, after the phone call from your dating expert, you think you’re savvy with the majority of the services they offer, then you go in at the low-cost end.

And this is where it gets testing for the relationship counsellor. If you’re absolutely clueless about dating, got a bit more money than (common) sense, these specialists will walk you through every step of the process.

And there is another very real reason that these dating sites make calls. Just because singles have money, does not mean they are automatically safe. In order to enhance their reputation, not only for delivering value for money but also for being secure, you, prior to being accepted by the high end dating sites, undergo a full vetting service. This could include both your criminal record and your credit history being investigated. I’m buggered, then.

But, if you’re paying that much cash up front, as an exclusive member you expect to be safe, both personally and financially. There’s no ‘Oh, I forgot my wallet’ excuses at these first dates.

In the follow up article, the step-by-step process of walking the newbie through the dating routine, high end style.

Online dating facing up to winkers

Posted on January 8, 2012 by Dating

Social media and online dating are, inevitably, becoming more alike. More often than not, new dating sites are utilising the familiar aspects of social media in an attempt to help new singles site sign-ups get around their online platform in a manner they’re used to.

FaceDating.com has incorporated both aspects with the launch of their new dating site, which offers a free membership only and a whole host of extra services for those who wish to upgrade to ‘subscribers’ level with their dating site membership.

As social media is, for the most, free, you would think that there is little call for upgrading to a paid membership. However, the thousands of dating sites that are online prove that there is, explaining why there seems to be new dating sites springing up every week.

Facebook has its likes and G+ has its +1′s – it would appear that more and more dating sites are opting for winks as a way for one member to indicate to another that they’re interested in what they see in your profile. If, however, you’re not so keen when you receive such a notification, you can block the winkers, whether you have a paid or free membership on this dating site.

The site has a basic, simple to follow structure, allowing you to put in the most basic requirements for your search for your free membership, which you can customise and filter further with a paid package.

The subscriber plan allows you all of the basic benefits plus a whole host of extra services which increment the higher and longer the plan to which you subscribe.

For those serious about dating there is a choice of plans which range from a basic one-month upgrade for $35.99 to test the water up to the Best Value plan which is an all-singing and dancing membership for 6 months at $17.99/month.

The two 6-month packages they offer also include the FaceDating.com guarantee, not available with any other of the services you choose to subscribe to.

Do be careful, whichever plan you choose, if you wish to withdraw your paid membership. FaceDating.com have made it very clear that you will be charged at your existing membership rate automatically at the subscription level to which you have committed until you notify them to the contrary. At least they have made this extremely clear, devoting a whole sidebar to the details which remains static as you flick through the choice of upgrades.

For the top five dating sites based on our market research, we have them at the click of a button to help you find your perfect partner in minutes.

Cash-strapped couples going to the wall

Posted on January 1, 2012 by Dating

The constraints on finances have placed ‘arguments over money’ at top of the list for reasons for divorce this year, according to one dating site.

DivorcedDate.com, who ran a similar survey of 5,000 of its members the same time last year, are not so shocked that this cause has overtaken ‘communication’ as the main reason for couples looking to move on so soon after Christmas

According to Asda, their income tracker suggests that there is 8.4% less disposable income this year than there was last. This lack of ready cash, putting constraints on holidays, presents and quality time out is starting to tell with married couples everywhere.

Relationship expert underlines the need for disposable income

The online dating site, originally founded for singles who have been in relationships for some time and perhaps have got out of the habit of dating someone new, have their own expert in relationship matters.

Amélie Duval knows only too well that if there are cracks in any relationship, this type of pressure only blows these cracks wide open. One small argument over mis-spent cash can soon lead to all sorts of tensions being released, therefore potentially bringing a long-term relationship crashing down in an instant.

New Year, new start

Following such an incident, one half of the disheartened couple will suddenly take a look at their life and not like what they see. Drawing a line under it all, they turn to dating sites like this one, not necessarily to find someone new, but to relate their issues with like-minded people.

Obviously, as soon as lines of communication open, they realise that there is a world of people who have gone through exactly the same emotions. This is backed by the announcement that DivorcedDate.com have welcomed more than 11,000 sign-ups since Christmas – double their usual sign-up rate.

The other reasons mentioned for couples breaking up this year were listed as cheating, lying, a noticeable lack of sex and love, becoming disheartened by addictions to drink and drugs and the fact that the person the new single had married had changed beyond all recognition.

Not only do those in charge of the economy have the business market to consider being ripped to shreds, the effects are now striking at the heart of the UK household. Let’s hope that things change, and soon.

How secure can dating sites be made?

Posted on December 29, 2011 by Dating

How much responsibility can an online dating agency take when a date turns disastrously wrong?

Site admin can only do so much to vet its membership, unless we are talking about high-end dating sites for professionals which charge exorbitant fees from the layman’s point of view, but are the others doing enough?

On both sides of the pond, there is a lack of regulation by the authorities, both when policing sign-ups and, indeed, monitoring people who become dating site start-ups.

Any screening is done at the point of sign-up. With a paid dating site service, one-to-one calls are becoming more and more the norm, where the value is in the monthly fee to make the practise financially viable. Typically, where the facility is a free dating service, there is not enough capital in the business to be so personal; any inquisition into a specific member is left to the dating site community itself.

How far can the authorities get involved?

If dating sites were not so popular, there may be an argument for for authority involvement. However, when social media and personals sites can attract over 100 million members in less than one year, it would mean creating a huge department just to oversee one site.

The US have took a gigantic step in protecting its citizens when interacting with non-US citizens. As the largest target market for scammers, this has grown from necessity rather than choice, but in 2007, the Intl. Marriage Broker Act was introduced, which has put the onus legally for international dating service providers to ensure the safety of its US members.

Who owns the dating sites – are they accountable?

As things stand, anyone with the money can buy a dating-site-in-a-box and have it up and on-line within days. There is little or no vetting process for new owners – cash is all that matters.

There are successful entrepreneurs who actually franchise their site and even share their membership with affiliates until they grow their own rank so that they are self-supporting. Again, it is at this point that extra screening measures could be enforced and make the dating site owners accept some of the responsibility for the new members it allows to sign up for their dating facility.

What warnings should legally be enforced on dating sites?

Sites like ours, dating.org.uk, constantly monitor the dating site headlines and therefore look to highlight possible scams as they break, such as constant updates about 419 Fraud.

However, as we do not own a dating site, only seek to sort the best of those on the net, we cannot control what measures they take to protect its membership.

It would be encouraging to see a standardised warning, or a self-regulated body that recognised dating sites can sign up to as an adjudicating organisation, by which the dating site community can draw some confidence when signing up. Much like the ‘Gas Safe’ register in the UK, whereby consumers look for that assured standard before calling upon their services.

Like it or not, no system will ever totally infallible, even those that call on governmental records. The choice will always be down to the individual to discern whether the individual you are considering dating is trustworthy, or not.

Picture perfect or changing faces?

Posted on December 28, 2011 by Dating

On the back of a rush to the checkout for singles looking to bag a date for New Year’s Eve, plenty of fish have offered their members invaluable advice based on recent studies about their successful membership.

It has recognised that people who present an unmodified photograph, and dedicated dating site users can tell the difference between air-brushed profile photos and the real thing, have the best reaction.

Not just to attracting people to them in the first instance but, because the dating site member has chosen to represent a true image of themselves on their profile, their partner gets what they expect when they first meet and therefore are most successful in securing a second date.

Keep it fresh to keep ‘em kean

The advice from the dating site, to keep any potential partners hot to trot, is to be flexible with your profile photographs. As well as ensuring your dating profile reflects a true-to-life image, rotate the pictures to invite more interest from genuinely interested parties.

Then, when you feel you can procastinate no more, slay the dating site community with your best snap to truly get your date begging to meet with you.

Get online now if your new to dating sites

This is the busiest time of year for dating sites. As soon as Boxing Day rolls around, it is all systems go for the online dating industry until Valentine’s Day rolls around some seven weeks later, according to a source from Match.com.

New Year represents a dating milestone

Whether it’s to bury a terrible year for dating or fire up hopes for a more successful one, singles use New Year as both a full stop and the beginning of a new chapter. A time to draw the line under past failures, learn the lessons from those disasters and prepare yourself for the challenge of dating with a whole new community and with a different attitude.

The report even suggests that, if you just can’t find or choose someone you genuinely would like to date, why not consider blind dating?

If you do do this as an option, the site are wary of the security and recommend that you invite the person to a get together where you have plenty of friends who can keep an eye on proceedings.

A date in a place but just no time

Posted on December 12, 2011 by Dating

In my duties as writer for dating.org.uk, I see a lot of information fizzing through my feeds and alerts relating to the online dating industry. Much of it, no, the majority of it, gets trashed as soon as I open it up . There are two main reasons, namely:

1. it’s indecipherable ‘English’ pumped out by article mills in an attempt by a webmaster to dubiously ‘build [their] rank’, ie issue fresh content stuffed with keywords so that Google thinks it looks good but anyone with a minimum grasp of English will wonder what language the article is supposed to be written in, or,
2. the post is just crammed with figures and statistics that only perhaps accountants or mathematicians would have the faintest interest in.

However, one headline statistic did get me thinking, but only after I’d despatched it to the recycle bin; now I’m using the example, I wished I hadn’t, but the gist of it was that one woman, using her dating site membership, had managed to clock up $120,000 of free meals, all paid for by people she’d approached online on dating sites. Talk about your meal-ticket, or what?!

Whatever the membership fee was, she sure was getting her money’s worth.

What got me thinking was: how come this woman didn’t get a reputation so other members stayed well clear? Then I started considering the other numbers I’d seen flashing up on my screen after opening a ‘UK dating‘ feed or ‘online dating‘ alert. Some of the larger matchmaking sites boast membership numbers, globally and across the group brand, in the millions.

For argument’s sake, the hotbed of discussion being ‘how did one woman stay under the radar by scamming so many men into taking her out for a meal?’ let’s just say we’re talking about one site – the phenomenon of 2011 online dating, Badoo. Recent reports suggest that over 1.4 million new users are joining every day. Yep – that’s right. 1,400,000 new profiles, pics and life stories to crunch every day of the week.

Okay – this site is out of the ordinary, like I say. If it was purely in the social media category, it would already rank number 4 in the world, but there will be an independent review of that site another day. Back to the number crunching I absolutely abhor, but it has its place in this post.

Continue reading →

Is online dating a real relationship?

Posted on November 23, 2011 by Dating

If you were to really think about the terminology, ‘online dating’ isn’t. According to the freedictionary.com, the definition of dating is: ‘An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.’

I mean, I know times have changed and we now have fantastic touch-screen computers and mobile interfaces, but even they cannot replicate the feeling of holding hands underneath L’Arc de Triomphe on a chill, November midnight.

So, how do we cross that Champs Elysee of a road to get your new online partner to leave the comfort of their home and actually come out on a date with you? And if you have ever been unfortunate enough to have to cross that road between 7am and 10pm, you’ll know that’s no mean feat! Give me the online dating challenge every time.

a quick recap on the basics of online dating

First and foremost, you must start building bridges, and the keystone that binds any relationship has to be trust.

This can be difficult, given that any potential blossoming is still in the virtual zone and needs terra firma to really take root. Honesty is the best policy from the outset. Okay, if you’re a recovering alcoholic or have got twelve children, these are things you may want to introduce at a later stage.

But the basics like age, weight, career, ambition and what you are looking for from the dating website and any future long-term relationship you have to be straight down the line from the outset.

Do not, repeat: not, try and jazz up your profile with some ludicrous tale like you’re 6’2” and 15st, when you’re 5’4” and 9st wringing wet; or that you ‘head up the IT department’ at work, when you’ve only just figured out how to launch the internet on your 7-year old PC that the kids left behind when your partner walked out just before the divorce. Sounds harsh, but desperation leads to all of the wrong decisions.

And, if you are on a bit of a downer, do not let that dullen your profile. By all means mention that you are separated, heck – how many dating site members aren’t?, but try to keep the majority of what you’re saying about yourself upbeat, in order to attract more invitations to date. As in ‘real’ date, off-screen, where the clammy, nervous hand is a real, tangible entity, not a dream across 1,000 miles of cyber-space.

To instil confidence further, ensure that you suggest the first date be in a public place. No matter how convincing or genuinely trustworthy you are, your new online dating friend cannot really start to trust you until after a few liaisons.

And remember, people may look slightly different to their profile pic, if you’ve not had access to a web-cam date prior to your first meeting. In a recent survey, it was discovered that men’s dating site profile photos were 6 months old, on average, whereas women’s were from 18 months ago. However different your partner looks off-screen, be sure to compliment them, to set them at ease.

Okay – that’s you set, and ready to give your partner an Eiffel, when you meet and make the date a date. All of this virtual relationship malarkey – it’s enough to drive you in Seine!

Dating sites viewed with trepidation in Southern Asia

Posted on November 19, 2011 by Dating

Survey reveals 60% of United Arab Emirates see internet dating as untrustworthy

An investigation undertaken in UAE of almost 800 people reported that tradition is holding firm over the global rise in dating site numbers.

A professor from UAE University attributed the attitude towards online dating communities as suspicious due to the sanctity of marriage being a life commitment, not just something you can buy on the web and return it if it doesn’t suit.

In other areas, the survey did show the populace as active on the internet, with 7 in 10 respondents trusting the platform to pay bills and 6 out of 10 see it as a viable medium to air their views on society as a whole.

In further reflection, Dr Al Oraimi acknowledged that, although the region was going through a transitional period, given that it is only 40 years old long-standing customs show no signs of changing any time soon; therefore searching for a partner online is, more often than not, ruled out as an option.

Another insight, from a Palestinian living in Dubai, added that family units have become extremely protective of their own, sometimes overly so, since the second world war. Indeed, anyone from outside of that unit is viewed as a stranger; that would include anyone introduced to the family via a dating site platform, regardless if they had been invited by someone within.

Following on in that vein, Dr Al Oraimi reminded us that parental vetting is still very much a part of the courtship process, including knowledge of the background of anyone entering a long-term relationship with their children. However, given the lack of support any offspring would receive should the potential marriage fail, many do not even consider searching online dating profiles as a viable option in the first instance.

Shaadi, which means marriage, is one of South Asia’s more prominent ‘introduction’ sites. Gauruv Rakshit, the contact site’s business brain, is of an opinion that underlines another aspect foreign to the Western World.

He understands that the custom still favours arranged marriages, where families meet to discuss their compatibility and that of the intended life-partners; if the two parties are agreed, the wedding will happen, regardless of any objections by bride or groom.

His attempt at reversing this trend via the personals site has several options for singles wishing to meet outside this tradition, attracting 70,000 members to date, with a further 8,000 new members joining, month on month.

So, although tradition holds firm in most regions, there are signs that individuals are starting to grip their futures by the horns, and step outside the practises held dear for so long.

Remote chance of romance

Posted on November 4, 2011 by Dating

With so many UK dating sites to choose from, and seemingly more springing up every week, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the entire nation was looking for love on line.

Somewhat surprisingly, a recent survey suggests that some online agencies are reporting more members nowadays are quite content to let ‘digital dating’ be the extent of the relationship.

So just what is it enticing the populous to prefer virtual dating over physically meeting other dating site members with whom they’ve invested time building a rapport?

The first and foremost criteria for this type of remote correspondence is a free dating website membership. Many singles serious about finding love on line may be deterred from using free adult internet services, whether an apprehension is justified or not. However, if your intention from the outset is purely for social interaction, this type of medium can be more than adequate.

Whether you are looking for a genuine romance or not, it is still worth looking out for the key facts that are the building blocks of good internet-based contact sites.

A book should never be judged by its cover, they say, although there are a few giveaway signs to help a new member determine more dubious dating sites from the better ones.

If there is an obvious amount of tender, loving care gone into the external, visible user interface, then it is also likely that the mechanics ‘under the hood’ are running smoothly, too.

Another instantly recognisable feature that can help determine the quality of any online dating service is its accessibility. How well plotted is the navigation in the sitemap? Do the links all take you to the pages you expect to land on when you click on them? If they all run smoothly, then that’s a sure sign that an amount of investment has gone into bringing you a dating service that you are going to reccomend.

Word of mouth still plays a huge part in any online dating service’s success, especially those will low-cost membership fees. A lot of their revenue comes from sponsorship and ‘click-through’ advertising, so it is important to have as many people directed to the site through social media platforms, as the budget for other types of advertising may not be as extensive as the larger dating sites who we see advertising on television on a daily basis.

With the speed of communication at the fastest we have ever known it, any slight against a website’s reputation can potentially be around the globe in minutes; the long-term damage to that business can be fatal – a fact that genuine business owners are only too aware of.

The other major to look out for when choosing a new adult dating site is the membership, both the size and if upgrades are offered. Most internet dating services offer a forum or chat-room. If, on the face of a website, an agency is claiming that you are able to ‘chat free to hundreds of other singles online, now’, and you get to an under-populated forum or see an ‘online figure now’ disparate to the membership suggested, then alarm bells should start ringing.

If the chat-rooms do have plenty of live threads, and replies are posted in quick succession, why not get in there and check out if any of the members have upgraded, and whether the cost was relative to the extra services? You may save yourself both time and outlay by taking this precaution, first.

The report suggested that there are over 5 million registered members of UK dating sites. If you are just out to date online, you should have no problem finding someone looking for the exact same relationship. However, do remember that all dating web-sites love a success story, even if you think you stand more chance of winning the lottery that finding love on line.

You never know, the next time, it could be you…!

Are you using dating sites on the sly?

Posted on November 3, 2011 by Dating

Wifi hotspots, iphones, androids – if you want to check who’s responded to your dashingly, devastating dating site messages, you can do it almost anywhere, these days.

Gone are the days when you had to pray to the gods of javascript to close your browser swiftly in order to hide the latest online dating profiles, if, whilst surfing the free online singles sites at home, there turned an unexpected key at the front door.

Thankfully, if perusing prospective relationships on line is your thing (even though you are betrothed to another), you can accommodate this pasttime far and wide. This is a far cry from being tethered to the dial-up connections of the past, when dating websites were only as remote as the length of your telephone wire.

According to one dating service, browsing the internet for online singles remains a commonplace activity for those who perhaps oughtn’t be doing so. The results of their survey, put to 25,000 of its members, suggested that juggling blindfold with machetes was perhaps preferable to looking for love online when you already had a partner in situ, ignorant of your daliances.

Okay, we can make allowances; almost two thirds of those surveyed were male. Not that I’m saying men are less intelligent, but are perhaps prone to showing off any ‘sexts’ received from a dating site member to their mates, hence more likely to leave the evidence on the sim or M2 card in their mobile.

Now, one would assume that a level of common sense would prevail and that, upon returning home after receiving a message from someone obviously keen on building a relationship outside of your existing one, you would delete it. But no.

An amazing 58% of those caught not quite with their pants down, but nonetheless hard pushed to refute the evidence when it’s there in the hand-held, attributed the reason to messages received via a third party personals site.

Pro-rata, the result was similar for both sexes, with admitting being caught by their partners because of a carelessly undeleted dating site cell-message accounting for approximately 3 times the polled answers than that of its closest rival, the good old PC. So, obviously the gods of Javascript are still gainfully employed but possibly on shorter time, these days, like so many other uk dating site visitors.

Looking forward, however, the integration of GPS on our phones means your partner could quite feasibly track the whereabouts of your mobile if you were to sneak out on a date; therefore, it would advisable to stay in the proximity of where you said you were going to be if you do decide to nip out for a stab at speed dating.

Remember, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and it would be awful to get home one night, only to find that your service provider had been irrevocably been cut off…

A free date for your diary?

Posted on November 2, 2011 by Dating

Very rarely, these days, do we get offered a little something for nothing, especially on the internet. So, when we encounter a free dating site, we are guarded before we even begin perusing potential partners, keenly awaiting us behind possibly dubious profiles.

Okay, that’s maybe harsh.

To paraphrase even more cliches in the love-seekers handbook, there are exceptions to every online dating rule and you will find the odd diamond or two in the rough.

However, singles dating sites that do not charge a membership or sign-up fee are reliant upon sponsorship and advertising fees alone for their revenue. With a site-owner who has a knack for web-design, this may not be immediately noticeable, front-of-house.

Where you may notice a difference to paid membership sites, however, is in a lack of real-time admin or long-term support. This could range from individual requests being answered to the potentially more dangerous ommission of site-owners corroborating its members dating profiles.

Another important factor to keep in mind, when deciding where to start looking for love on line, is the type of relationship you’re expecting to find. Should you be looking for serious, long-term commitment, perhaps free dating sites aren’t the best place to start.

From the female point of view, if your prospective dating material is unprepared or unable to pay for the priviledge of meeting you, that in itself may raise questions about his calibre, attitude or financial standing. From the male prospective, what self-respecting woman wouldn’t dip into her purse to attract a higher class of gent than the fellow outlined above?

The exception to the rule is if you are completely new to website matchmaking services; in which case, free personals chat-rooms and forums are great places to get the hang of online dating and to get the low-down of the service you’re using.

And again, if you’re only after a casual online relationship, then free sites should suffice. More recently, they have become one of the more fashionable ways to get to know the opposite sex.

In all seriousness, though, if you do arrange to meet up with a member of a free dating site, and you have the slightest suspicion about their online credentials, do suggest that the first few dates are supervised or in close proximation to your regular stomping grounds. If there is nothing malicious about the intentions of your date, they will raise no objections, whatsoever.

Good luck – I hope your diamond doesn’t have too many rough edges!

If at first you don’t succeed…

Posted on November 2, 2011 by Dating

For every sector of the online market place that is the World Wide Web, there is always one company that does things differently. Online dating is in no way exempt from that scenario.

Many seasoned singles site users are used to one of only two different types of online dating service: free or premium. By seasoned, I’m not merely referring to the more mature dating correspondents; there are many younger members, nowadays, who have not only fuelled the momentum behind this ever-growing market, but also, by their demands, have made dating websites take a step back and look at their role, in toto.

Whichever end of the timeline you’re closest to, or to whichever type of online dating you subscribe, one common complaint is the frustration when a member whose reaction you are trying to invoke is just not answering your private messages; this becomes all the more frustrating if your free dating limit or chosen premium only permits a certain volume of direct correspondence over a given timeframe.

It can take an awfully long time to realise that you’re either punching above your weight or that the target of your affection is simply not interested. So, what to do? Be patient and risk missing other dating opportunities or go to plan b?

There is often very little you can do if the object of your desire is unresponsive. In the ‘real’ world, away from dating sites, however, when every other trick in the book has failed, there is always the last resort: throw cash at your problem. It is perhaps not the most tactful of deployments, but many long-term relationships have required such a kick-start in the past.

One online dating service recently saw the mileage in this tactic.

When alikened to a ‘charity auction’, the company’s CEO conceded that the mechanics were similar, however, the underlying motivator for his site remains solely for the purpose of guaranteeing its singles membership, who may otherwise pass unnoticed, a genuine chance of finding love on line.

If the tactic of selling first dates didn’t cause enough of a furore within the dating community, a process for which they have since applied for patent rights, the company’s more recent announcement has taken their outlandish stance to a whole new level.

To date, the CEO believes that the dating site’s growing ranks have come, in the main, by word of mouth. In an attempt to capitalise on its current popularity, the site has entered into a joint venture with an existing affiliate organisation.

This will give the online dating site a proven route to market, with the affiliate company’s huge network of publishers and webmasters primed and ready to promote the business.

The affiliate program offers each networker $1.00 for each new sign up to the dating agency’s main, free membership and a subsequent 40% chunk of every successful bid their sign-up’s win, if a new member joins within 30 days of clicking through the affiliate’s link.

And the limit? There is none. Each affiliate will get paid for as many sign-ups as they can direct to the site.

No doubt this latest foray into uncharted waters for dating websites will upset a few of the established old-guard…
…but only, perhaps, because they wish that they had conceived the idea, first.

Dating sites to benefit from new app

Posted on October 30, 2011 by Dating

Social media continually improves the methods in which we can promote ourselves across a whole host of platforms to the World Wide Web in an instant. Gone are the days spent filling in your online dating profile every single time you joined a new dating community.In the past, when looking to explore new adult networking or personals sites, disinterest could soon supersede anticipation if the plethora of information required at sign-up was unequivocally long in relation to the benefits offered.Whilst the thrill of exploring pastures new remained, the repetitiveness of entering your dating profile soon became a chore.

That changed markedly with ‘autofill’: theoretically, complete your details once, and then every time your personals were requested by the next site, your browser did the rest. However, not all forms were designed equally; my age is not as long as my mobile number, although, nowadays it sometimes feels that way.

We now have ‘OpenID’; once you sign in to your new dating site and subsequently confirm these details by clicking an auto-responsive e-mail – bang – all of your information is instantly stored on their server. Job done.

Even blogs offer the facility, once registered, to join with your Google, facebook or Twitter log-in; you can start finding your online matches immediately, without the headache of having to provide everything from the colour of your eyes to the size of your…
…feet.

How easy is it to join a new dating site, now? Simples – literally one click and you’re verified!

Now here comes the crunch: How is your information verified?

Just because some time in the distant past you’ve filled in a form and validated it by confirming the e-mail? Not exactly passport-secure, is it?

After waiting years for technology to facilitate instant, lovable online profile creation, these methods may be whipped from beneath our feet.

Tr.uly, based in Boston, US, have developed a sign-in application that, not only requires the information we are used to providing, but also requests data which aligns with US government information records.

If you have signed up to your current online dating service with false information (including your age), start worrying now. They’ll be on to you!

However, there is a positive side.

If your relationships site adopts this application, and many free dating sites in the US have expressed more than a passive interest, you can rest easy in the knowledge that Joanne from Stafford will not suddenly become Duncan the dustman from Wolverhampton on your first date.

You’re also provided with your own mobile QR code, for on-the-spot verification for added security.

Furthermore, if you want to display your credulity online, there’s an option to give your profile its own stand-alone URL (website), which you can link to any manner of online dating agency profile, although this does attract an annual fee, currently $4.95.

So, next time that drop-down menu appears, if you are thirty-something, be sure to click that “30-39” option; there’s tru.ly no rolling back the years with this new app.