Being what is generally accepted as good looking can have all sorts of complications that being plain or less than handsome don’t inherently attract, of that there is no doubt, whatsoever. Being ‘fair of face’, to quote the old rhyme (the twelfth of October, 1970, for example – go on, write it in your diary…why, thank you), can raise all sorts of self-doubt and warrant unwanted attention from those, usually of the same sex, regarding you with little green monster eyes.
For example, Monday’s children may well have had to address the following issues whilst dating in the past that those less pretty would have no conception of (unless they had an exceptionally high opinion of themselves):
- is he/she only with me as a trophy boy/girlfriend?
- do they only want me to impress family/friends?
- Is that bloke over there, built like a brick…wall (keep it clean) with the scar and broken nose going to rearrange my ‘not the face, not the face’ because he just can’t handle the fact that I’m gorgeous?
Oh, yes – you may mock, but that has happened – or the situation, at least – and only by sheer good fortune has one escaped with little more than a black eye and a slightly skiwiff bridge of the nose that now ‘adds character’.
Good looks not always helpful in dating land
Having a super-model photograph on a dating site may seem a blessing to those who are not as blessed with looks, but there is a curse attached to having come to bed eyes, being denturally perfect and possessing long, flowing locks. Most people who are good-looking genuinely look for more faults in their appearance than anyone else. Not necessarily through vanity, either.
If you’ve been classed as a bit of a catch, generally, it sets you above the rest. Why? God knows. But it does. But that does engender a certain responsibility, if only to keep up one’s moral. The school reunion, for example. Say you’re having a real bitch of a time of the month or a shaving rash has encircled your throat and you can do nothing to hide the spots or whatever imperfection is the symptom. What’s the first thing you get asked? Or worse, hear someone tattling when they thought you were out of earshot? It’s something like: “Blimey, hasn’t XXXX let themselves go?” or, the killer, “They never looked like that when we dated!” And you feel like shouting back – it’s a ferkin spot for ferx ache. But time and tide has taught you not to and you just let it simmer in your bile duct where it can gently erode your self-confidence away whilst inflaming insecurity.
And having a perfect dating site profile picture does two things:
- attracts all of the weirdoes who either go out of the way to say something defamatory with no justification or start stalking you and will not leave you alone, no matter how many hints or outright obscenities you throw back at them.
- singles who you may be interested in don’t bother to get in touch because they think you’re out of their league. It’s so not true. Good looking people may have earned a reputation for being shallow, but that’s so not the case. We just want people to realise that beneath that cherubim face is a real person – good looks are not a shield to defend against all the jealous scorn directed at The Beautiful People.
Next time you see a genuinely beautiful person on your dating site, take the time to say hi, and that you like the way they look – you may be bloody surprised at the keen response you get back. That is all.