[…] cont’d from
Where dating sites and bars are alike is that if you expressed any of those traits whilst you were in a bar, namely either utter desperation, being off your face or dismissive and in denial (as outlined in the preceding article) the only individuals you would possibly attract would be, in the cold light of day, classed as undesirable. Harsh, and I’m sorry, but that’s the truth of it. If you were exhibiting any of the above mentioned attitudes down your local, you may end up pulling only because the person you end up with had no better offer. In a bar, yes, you may get that opportunity.
On dating sites, however, the chances of anyone returning with so many other thousands or millions of members in the dating site community to choose from are remote. If any of those descriptions sound like the circumstances under which you signed up for your dating site and you’re not doing as well as you’d hoped or you’re ready to give up because you’re only attracting losers, take a fresh look at your profile. Read between the lines of what you’ve actually written and ask yourself – or better still, ask a friend who’ll be honest with you – what do those words say about me?
The person who wrote the blog I read this evening, although I’ve not read their dating site profile, I know would scream at least one (if not all) of the above traits without those words actually appearing on the screen before me. With the addition of the killer line, that punctuated everything they wrote – not directly, but with references in the opening paragraph and comparisons throughout the blog – which I guess would have gone along the lines of: “okay, I’m gonna give you a try, but don’t expect too much coz you’re just not my ex!”
There are good reasons for joining dating sites and not so advisable ones; if you’re looking for someone who’s just like your ex, well, you’ve got their number already. Either make the decision to move on or be prepared for a whole load of unfulfilling dates before you realise you have to.
Online dating can seem like a massive place with so many members, but you’ll be surprised how quick the reputation of time-waster or even scammer can be picked up. It may not be up to you to call the shots regarding who you do and don’t date if that type of reputation precedes you.