Abba, gold tracksuits and the treadmill dancing queen

cont’d from “Stop trudging the treadmill of dating…

This is not just a flight of fancy, but this one girl at a gym I used to attend became, in her blissful ignorance, something of a figure of ridicule and goes to prove all the more why you shouldn’t wear earphones on the treadmill at the gym if you’re going there to possibly attract a date as well as tighten up those glutes and abs.

And, no, this not a boring lecture about health and safety and how she went careering off the end of the treadmill because she couldn’t hear us warning her to stop. Although, that would have been a lot less embarrasing for the young lady and would certainly have attracted a lot more male attention if that had happened, instead. No, it is more to do with the fact that a certain type of person can get lost in their music. I mean lost as in wrapped up in it completely.

If you’re only using the text facilities, i.e. e-mailing other singles or private messaging potential partners on your dating site whilst you’re at home, you can have your music on as loud as you want and no one will care a fig. Those to whom you’re chatting will never be any the wiser, although Axl Rose at maximum volume could fall outside of dating site ettiquette if you’re having a one-to-one web-cam date.

But having your music on loud on the treadmill is an awful idea because you can’t hear yourself, or you become totally unaware of the fact that, you’re singing your head off to Abba’s greatest hits. That gold tracksuit you’re wearing takes on a whole new meaning; any chance of a date from anyone other than that guy who looks like a seventies German porn star has gone completely out of the window along with your credibility.

Oh, the faces that girl used to pull as she was singing along; she was, I suppose, quite pretty, but used to get so into Benny, Bjorn and the girls that it did actually become quite scary. And, yes, after those little Monday night performances, faces were all she ever did pull, too.

So, by all means, take your music along with you if you plan on heavy sessions on one machine, but remember two things. Firstly, if you want to be in the least bit approachable by someone who could be a potential partner, only ever have one earpiece in at any given time. And secondly, make sure the volume is up only high enough so that it can be a slight distraction from the tediousness of the exercise, and not so that it drowns out all else as if you were having your own private concert in the bathroom at home – you are not Agnetha or Anni-Frid.

More dating tips on gym can and gym carna, up tomorrow.

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