First dates – keep the personal stuff to a minimum

There is a world of difference on your first date between letting your date know a little bit about you and you either giving them your life history or being that pleased with your achievements that you come across as boastful.

Money is a great thing to have but there are better ways of letting someone you’ve met on a dating site know about it other than by reeling off a list of what you bought with your ‘spare change’ or by actually dropping into the conversation your latest bonus or pay-rise. Sure, that’s the kind of stuff you need to be honest and open about when you’re in a long-term commitment together, but not the kind of subject you want to be discussing at a first date. If you’ve got class, it will shine through in your actions and personality; you won’t have to tell your date about it – they’ll work that one out.

And another slip-up that many singles often make when it’s their first time out with someone they’ve met through a dating site is asking how come the other’s unattached. If they want to discuss that (other than with someone whom they’ve developed a deep relationship), they’ll have mentioned the reason they’re single on their dating site profile or during private communication. If you have to ask, you’ve either not been paying them close enough attention or they’re not ready to talk about it with someone who they hardly know. Leave the subject of past relationships – even if you are totally stuck for anything else to say on your early dates – until your partner starts to open up about them.

Likewise, they will definitely not want to hear in too much detail about everyone you’ve ever snogged the face off. Please, try and remember, dating in the early stages is about getting to know your new partner – past relationships are just that: past. The clue’s in the question, folks.

As well as overwhelming questions, there is also the possibility of rushing the physical aspect of a new relationship. No matter who it is, no matter how good looking he/she is and how much they implore you for a little first date physicality, say no.

Unless, of course, the object of the date is purely on the pre-determined understanding that you’re just meeting up for an ‘online dating friends with benefits’ type of arrangement, of course. It has been known to happen but, generally speaking, if all someone wants is adult dating, they will head towards a dating site that specialises in quickie dates or one-off intimate liaisons; it is not the done thing on a first date with a member from one of the mainstream dating sites.

There is more about that aspect in our first date tips for him, for her and for the two of you series, if you need further clarification as to why that type of activity is not the best basis for a long-term relationship.

So, one more article to go for January from the #datingguruuk series, then we’re into the month of lurve…February!

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