Welcome back, and thanks for joining us for the fourth – and definitely final, this time – part in this enthralling look into the relevance of today’s dating sites compared to how they were viewed by Sarah Harris, CEO of cupidnights.com and planetsappho.com, back in 2005. Click the tag ‘prophetic words’ at the bottom of this article to bring up the other three articles.
In conclusion, we look at why the multi-national, million-plus membership dating sites are little more than a contact site and the imbalance of men to women that existed then and is still prevalent, now.
When Sarah wrote the article, she referred to the global dating sites at the top of the tree as having ‘hundreds of thousands of members’; obviously, you can add at least one zero onto the biggest sites, these days, and then some! However, the sentiment expressed then – that they are little more than sites for people who like to chat to other singles online in a type of instantaneous, cyberspace pen-pal relationship – remains the same.
Admittedly, Sarah did have a vested interest when she advised the dating populous to stick to dating sites that had a concentration of singles ‘in your region’ as cupidnights.com is a dating site for Londoners only.
There are two issues with this, if you live outside the capital:
1. you can’t assess what percentage of members will be local until you have signed up and, if we go back to the point of ‘you get what you pay for‘, paid your membership fee, which may prove to be fruitless
2. search Google for free dating sites in your area with the tag #[your town] – I’ve just searched for Wolverhampton and Black Country dating sites and the results, considering the urban density of the population(s), wouldn’t entice me to sign up if they were paying me.
My advice, if you are determined to stay local and only want pen-pals for anyone who lives further than the end of your street, is get to know a few people on the free dating sites at first, and see if they can point you to a great paid service, like those on our matchmaker here at dating.org.uk, which has members local enough to cure you of your agoraphobia.
Sarah’s last point refers to the askew dating figures, where the guys outnumber the gals 60/40. You think it’s bad in the West? Go East, where males are the preferred offspring and there are limits to the amount of children permitted per couple – then you really see the books unbalanced.
The key for lads on dating sites that are imbalanced is to get your profile bang on so that you stand out head and shoulders above the competition. As well as your dating site profile, there is other dating etiquette that should be followed.
Answer all e-mails promptly and courteously; if you are not into someone, tell them straight and don’t leave them hanging on – but let them down gently. If you are interested, do not bombard your potential partner, but be restrained, totally honest and let them know that you’re interested without smothering them with winks and smiles, building up their confidence gradually until they are ready to date offline. Do not pressure the girls – it won’t work and you will soon get a reputation which will put off other singles who may have otherwise shown an interest in you.
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