Giving up monogamy this hogmanay

According to all sources, if you’re intent on cheating on your beloved, betrothed or bedraggled other half, your objectives will be outlined on 4th January more than any other day in the year. That’s the word coming from the media, backed up by new sign up figures at dating sites dedicated to adultery.

Illicitencounters.com is just one of the niche dating sites specialising in secret affairs that have reaped the benefits of one desperate half of a couple being released from the cage that has been their marital home over the festive season.

As the business sector slowly wakes up, in many cases to find the economic outlook equally as gloomy – if not worse – than it was before Christmas, phones rest in their cradles and order books lie open with a list of numbers that are nothing more than the cappuccinos and black coffee combinations to the drinks machines. All without sugar, of course, as individuals look to lose pounds, as well as fidelity, as they log back on to their computers straight to the secret dating site, rather than to a supplier’s stock screen.

It is this freedom, as married individuals become fed up of their home life and the claustrophobia that has been the festive season, coupled with the realisation that the run of the mill job isn’t going to do anything to lift the cloak of boredom from their lives, that has been blamed for increases of up to 300% for new dating site membership sites design to provide the stealth needed to have an elicit affair.

The figures really are astounding.

One of the leading dating sites aimed at capturing this unsatisfied married market had received over 600 new sign-ups by lunch-time on the fourth and missed out on a thousand for the day by a mere six individuals.

This is more than double the average daily number.

If you take the basis that, in one recent survey almost 20% of married women had admitted to cheating on their husband at least once and 25% of men on their wives, you can surmise that almost 600 of those new dating site sign-ups were the male of the species. Whilst the women are not charged for using the online dating facility in question, it will cost the married man (how he covers this up in his bank statement or explains the outgoing, we’re not sure) €100/£80 month to actually contact the results of his matchmaking search. That’s a cool £50k, almost, for the site, yesterday. In one day. More than I earn in a year. One day. Wow!

With the dating site boasting 640,000+ ‘genuine UK users’, assuming 60/40 male/female split, you’re talking over £3.5M income per annum from male members’ fees alone.

There’s an old saying in these parts: where there’s muck, there’s money.

Dagnammit, the old ‘uns got that right.

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