Patience is a virtue – and a prerequisite

Yesterday we started a mini-series for those new to online dating, beginning with the article ‘We all have to start somewhere‘.

Hopefully, now that you’ve got a few ideas about what to put it in your dating site profile, you’re going to start seeing some responses.

But that won’t happen straight away – don’t expect to be inundated with a flood of offers the first time you log back on to your dating site.

It may be your first attempt at online dating, but other members will have been around the block a few times.

Trust is the basis of any relationship

Just because you’re looking online for love instead of in the clubs and bars or down the gym doesn’t mean that the usual rules of engagement don’t apply – trust is imperative. In many cases, you only have a photo to go on and no absolute guarantee that there is a real person behind the image.

As things stand, there are no laws in place that state dating sites must place warnings on their home page about the threat of scammers but that threat – like the scammers themselves – are very real.

As such, you’ll discover a world where people take things one step at a time – it’s not like you have to get a phone number before last orders or kicking out time.

Don’t fret if you have to wait a few days, even a week or so, before you get a bite. You may find that you get better responses off different types of dating sites, especially if you are looking for a relationship of a more adult nature, from the off.

Don’t send out desperation e-mails or private messages

What you must not be tempted to do is write one message, send that same correspondence to a list of potential partners and hope that it works with everyone, in the hope that someone responds to you.

Other members, just as you have done, have taken time to craft a profile that reflects them, expecting people to pick up on their preferences when they’er approached. You may get lucky with a few members with one ‘template’ message but most will ignore any correspondence that isn’t specific to them.

Remember, you want to find a person that’s relevant, with whom you can build a relationship, whether you’re thinking long term or fleeting; do not waste time answering or approaching anyone with whom you have no intention of developing the relationship offline.

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