When you’ve been married for some time, some of the magic can fizzle and die. Life takes over and the little signs of affection that once were the portal to passion have become platitudes.
This can be true when you first start out dating, too. If that spark looks like flickering out early on, if football always comes first, or if he prefers a game of darts down the local to a quiet night in ‘on a promise’ with all the trimmings, you have to ask yourself: does he still love me?
Many women will adopt the ostrich theory: if they sense, on a subconscious level, that things ain’t what they used to be, they bury their heads in the sand rather than approach the issue head on.
Doubtful, but here are three tests you can apply to see if that lost love can be rekindled into the fiery passion you had on those first intimate dates.
What’s love got to do with it?
How often do you hear those three little words, other than when you go out of your way to fetch a pack of beer ready for the game or when you do that ‘special thing’ he likes so much when the lights go out?
Is he afraid to profess his love in public or does he supress his feelings when you’re out together? Or when you’re alone or on the phone to each other, how often does he actually finish the conversation with the phrase, “I love you“, not just a quick ‘love you’ and be on his way.
Time for action
How much do you see of your man?
When he says he’s stopping off for a couple of beers after a work, is he true to his word, or do those two stretch to three and four, neglecting anything you may have prepared for tea or other responsibilities that allow you your free time?
And how often does he get ‘held up’ at work when he knows you’ve made special arrangements, maybe even organised a date to galvanise what you have and try and add a bit more sheen to your waning relationship, and are waiting for him to be home on time, for a change?
We’ll leave you to ponder those; boxing day, we take this love-test into the bedroom…