Carrying on from part 1, we conclude with a couple more tips to at least ensure that your first date secures a second. More than that, tips to help you identify possible timewasters, wrapped up in a long-since dead love affair, next to which you’ll have to live up to for the rest of your, or the relationship’s, days, whichever ends soonest.
Be upbeat and not too probing
The key to a good date, in the reconnaissance sense, is to get an overview of your potential partner. At this stage, you do not want to delve deep into any specifics, especially relationships. Would you like to be given the third degree about your divorce on the first date? Absolutely not.
Keeping the conversational tone light and positive will discourage your partner from throwing up barriers, giving you a truer sense of the real them than a guarded view if you take on the role of inquisitor.
Also, you want something to talk about next time. If you’ve done all of the positives to death first time around, the second date will end up focusing on the negatives.
It’s about the two of you
A bout of nervousness is usual for most people before any date, but even worse for those who have grown out of the habit of hooking up for the first time.
You may want to proclaim your new found freedom – you could go on for hours and you probably would – but you’ll be far better off taking stock, gauging feedback and allowing your partner to express themselves during every point of the evening.
It’s understandable that you want to make an impression, but allowing them to paint a picture of themselves as well as you daubing their walls with the colour ‘you‘ will ensure you can make a reasoned assessment of the evening and whether a second date is warranted.
Dating should be fun; try and stay relaxed (not seven sheets relaxed, though), keeping the objective in focus all the way. Be as honest as you can without giving too much away – there’ll be plenty of time for in depth psycho-analysis, if and when your relationship gets that far, down the line.
Getting to know the real them and giving them an insight to what makes you happy is imperative to long term happiness, in any relationship. Be true to yourself, accentuate positives and let them have their say.
If you’ve got it right, just said enough to get them hooked and given them chance to at least outline their profile and the second date is still on, then that’s job done; you can stop worrying what all the fuss was about and get ready for the second date.