Festive pressures increase adult dating sign-ups

The festive season can get fraught with tension as families are cooped up for longer-than-usual periods. Like it or not, one (or both) of the individuals in such couples turn to dating sites such as undercoverlovers.com for solace when things in the marital home get just too much.

This year, the owners of the strictly adult dating site, designed specifically to target married couples looking for excitement beyond their existing relationship, were ready.

In their first year in operation, 2010, undercoverlovers.com were overwhelmed by the influx of new members in the period immediately after Christmas. This year, the trend was no less emphatic with almost three times the amount of new members signing up than average.

So, why did almost 20,000 feel the need to look elsewhere for new relationships following the Christmas holiday? Relationship experts and lawyers give their opinion as to why this should be the case.

Pressure cooker situation needs space to let off steam

Dr. Maryse Vaillant, a relationship advisor to the dating site, points out the blinding obvious.

She reasons that, whilst one or both halves of a couple are at work usually, when the festive holidays break there can be two weeks of enforced togetherness that denies the relationship its ability to breathe which it would in normal circumstances.

If there are hidden cracks, this added pressure will get between them and burst them wide open.

The legal outlook

Voices from the legal sector tend to back up what the relationship expert and the dating site tell us.

The period directly following the festive break is the busiest for family lawyers who handle divorces. More applications for separations are filed at this time of year than any other.

Poll give tips to those who fear the worst

Following last year’s glut of new arrivals, the dating site surveyed 5,000 of their new members to try to ascertain exactly why they had joined.

The top five reasons are listed as:

1. the other half doesn’t appreciate them
2. the romance has gone, yet is sorely saught
3. bedroom antics have become stale and excitement is yearned
4. arguments with the spouse have caused them to look elsewhere
5. the Christmas stocking was almost bare

The message is simple when presented with so much evidence.

Make sure you find quality time alone with each other if you’re subjected to prolonged periods of togetherness, including putting the effort in in the bedroom.

And, when considering your spouse’s Christmas gift, take the time to consider the gift to nip any recourse in the bud before it happens.

No cold front this Christmas for Carrey

Whatever Jim Carrey does, he cannot seem to keep his love-life out of the media spotlight. Although his current beau is almost 30, the fact the she’s a Russian student who flits across the country to be with the Hollywood star (presumably at his expensive), puts ole Jim in the Sugar Daddy category, according to Brandon Wade, founder of one of the largest Sugar Daddy sites on the planet.

It would seem that it took a rock concert to officially alert the press to the relationship and grease the Axl to keep the media wheels a-turning. The pair were spotted hand-in-hand in LA at a Guns ‘n’ Roses gig to officially bring to an end in the world’s eyes Jim’s relationship with Jenny McCarthy as he takes up with Anastasia Vitkina.

Is it really a Sugar Daddy/Baby relationship?

The ‘official’ definition of a Sugar Daddy, according to Wade, who is also author of ‘The Definitive Guide to Sugar Daddy and Mutually Beneficial Relationships’ so some cynics may say has a vested interest in the relationship’s encumbent publicity, considers a Sugar Daddy to be a man of definitive wealth, somewhat older than his partner, to whom he is willing to concede some of his time (and wealth) in return for her affection, be it platonic or intimate.

Loosely speaking, if reports in the press are on the money, the two do fit the bill to be tagged thus.

Many Sugar Babies live a similar lifestyle

On Brandon’s dating site, which hosts more than a million members, many of the young girls who hook up with their older partners do travel extensively to be with them and their bank accounts.

The girls on the adult dating site, who outnumber the Sugar Dadies by 10-to-1, unbelievably, are rarely expected to fund any of the accomodation or travel expenses and often list their occupations as ‘students’.

Given this, you can see where the parallels are being drawn by the media with the relationship between Carrey and Vitkina and what has become socially recognised as the Sugar Daddy/Baby relationship.

Wade puts the success of his own dating site, seekingarrangement.com, as much down to the economic crisis as anything else.

Jobs simply aren’t there that college-girls would normally take to tide them over; it is much more benfitial, and lucrative, to date an older man with wealth, who may not be expecting a long-term relationship, just a fleeting association, which suits the students to get them through college…

…we must have been going through a credit crisis when I went to University, too – I just thought the girls all had rich fathers when they were dropped off for a new term. Shows what I know.

The dating equation answered?

So, that’s what we’ve boiled down to? After years of evolving from the bubbling swamps millennia hence, we go back to science to seek the answers to the one emotion that can elate or hurt more than any other: love.

From its shady beginnings, online dating has thrust to the fore, casting off the cloak of its shady past to become the preferred method of initiating contact of millions of hopeful singles around the globe.

The last count showed that ten percent of all Americans have registered with one type of dating site or another, be they teenagers reaching out for love for the first time or baby boomers willing to give the wild ride one last whizz around the tracks.

CNBC airing documentary Valentine’s week

CNBC are to air a documentary, the first showing of which will be on the 9th of February next year, which tries to discover why so many singletons have found this type of platform an invaluable resource when looking to find love offline online.

Extracting their data from the biggest names on the Internet in online dating to the niche dating sites, which can cater for special forces and emergency service members to the extremities of what ‘decent’ folk would consider legal, the show looks to highlight why people are reaching to their lap-tops instead of lap-dancers for their thrills.

Online dating is now a $3bn industry, c/w its own digital millionaires

When I entered the term ‘online dating’ into google after cleaning my cache to ensure that we were still on page one here at dating.org.uk I was amazed, as I always am, to see how many results are returned for that search term.

Yesterday, Google returned 13,900,000 results – that’s staggering. Whether those results stem from actual dating sites or dating community members expressing their experiences online is difficult to break down; whatever the reason, that’s an astounding figure.

You can see why this is an attractive market for investment, which does not yet look to have peaked, although dating applications may erode some of the market share as more users go mobile with dating technology.  Whichever resource you use, there will be someone making a buck from your online quest for love – this documentary promises to highlight those who have made a success out of your search for the perfect partner online.

Next up – Love is…an algorithm

Love is…an algorithm

With CNBC throwing caution to the wind during Valentine’s Week 2012 and looking behind the scenes of the extreme and multi-million dollar industry that is online dating, we continue with our preview of the documentary.

Miss part one? Here:- The dating equation answered?

love is…an algorithm

Behind the scenes of many of the larger concerns, teams of scientists and mathematicians look for the key to pairing couples using, not the language of love, but strings of equations, such as: if client a’s x aspect = 23, then client b’s y tolerance is correspondent, therefore z = cha-ching! – that sort of thing.

The program, aptly entitled: “LOVE AT FIRST BYTE: THE SECRET SCIENCE OF ONLINE DATING” will air for the first time at 9pm (ET) on the 9th Feb with repeats hourly for the remainder of the day on the hour.

During the recording, NBC News and Today Show Correspondent Amy Robach will interview the psychologists, mathematicians and IT experts who claim to be able to profile you to a pin-point by the information you have written in your dating profile and by the way you use their site. As well as investigating the details you have entered about yourself, the scientists believe there is key personality hidden in the snippets you don’t say and do that can also highlight aspects of your true persona.

Do we know our true selves?

This leads to another debate entirely:- do we, as individuals involved in a much larger online dating community, know what we’re really looking for each time we log on and try and connect with someone who we may think is right for us?

Many articles on our dating site suggest not and, if nothing else, personal psychometric profiling can give us an insight into ourselves, first up, in an attempt to then further understand who our ‘best match’ dating partners are and how we can compromise to bring our online liaison to long-term fruition.

CNBC, having had some of their staff join up to such matchmaking sites, have worked with the scientists in the making of the show to highlight reasons why some of the results were deadly accurate whilst others appear, at first site, to be way off the mark.

The documentary is a result of the rise and rise of online dating popularity, of that there is no doubt. It may blow the lid off the industry or pander to the mega-buck owners, we shall see when it is aired, but we hope the exposé does the investigation justice.

Whatever the case, if love is truly little more than an algorithm, I’m sitting here wishing I’d paid a little more attention in algebra than I did when I was at school all of those years ago…

How secure can dating sites be made?

How much responsibility can an online dating agency take when a date turns disastrously wrong?

Site admin can only do so much to vet its membership, unless we are talking about high-end dating sites for professionals which charge exorbitant fees from the layman’s point of view, but are the others doing enough?

On both sides of the pond, there is a lack of regulation by the authorities, both when policing sign-ups and, indeed, monitoring people who become dating site start-ups.

Any screening is done at the point of sign-up. With a paid dating site service, one-to-one calls are becoming more and more the norm, where the value is in the monthly fee to make the practise financially viable. Typically, where the facility is a free dating service, there is not enough capital in the business to be so personal; any inquisition into a specific member is left to the dating site community itself.

How far can the authorities get involved?

If dating sites were not so popular, there may be an argument for for authority involvement. However, when social media and personals sites can attract over 100 million members in less than one year, it would mean creating a huge department just to oversee one site.

The US have took a gigantic step in protecting its citizens when interacting with non-US citizens. As the largest target market for scammers, this has grown from necessity rather than choice, but in 2007, the Intl. Marriage Broker Act was introduced, which has put the onus legally for international dating service providers to ensure the safety of its US members.

Who owns the dating sites – are they accountable?

As things stand, anyone with the money can buy a dating-site-in-a-box and have it up and on-line within days. There is little or no vetting process for new owners – cash is all that matters.

There are successful entrepreneurs who actually franchise their site and even share their membership with affiliates until they grow their own rank so that they are self-supporting. Again, it is at this point that extra screening measures could be enforced and make the dating site owners accept some of the responsibility for the new members it allows to sign up for their dating facility.

What warnings should legally be enforced on dating sites?

Sites like ours, dating.org.uk, constantly monitor the dating site headlines and therefore look to highlight possible scams as they break, such as constant updates about 419 Fraud.

However, as we do not own a dating site, only seek to sort the best of those on the net, we cannot control what measures they take to protect its membership.

It would be encouraging to see a standardised warning, or a self-regulated body that recognised dating sites can sign up to as an adjudicating organisation, by which the dating site community can draw some confidence when signing up. Much like the ‘Gas Safe’ register in the UK, whereby consumers look for that assured standard before calling upon their services.

Like it or not, no system will ever totally infallible, even those that call on governmental records. The choice will always be down to the individual to discern whether the individual you are considering dating is trustworthy, or not.

No gay app yet for women who’d like to Grind

A few applications have tried to provide an equivalent for women to the gay man’s popular mobile dating app Grindr, but none have, as yet, had the meteoric success of the male-only same-sex dating application.

If you’re a gay man, you sign up to Grindr, or so the popular theory goes; the app that lets you know where other potential partners are Grinding in your vicinity, you can check out their dating profile and decide whether you fancy getting together to start dating or, as results would seem to suggest, a casual, intimate affair with no nterest in commitment, other than essential protection.

With almost three million men having downloaded the app across the globe, and a considerable percentage of those here in the UK, if you’re gay you’re almost expected to have the app – but bi and lesbian women are pondering why this type of service is just not working for them as well as the traditional online dating site seems to be.

Others lesbian sites have tried and fell by the wayside

It’s not for the want of trying – there have been a couple of dating applications that have started out as the female equivalent to Grindr.

Qrushr Girls, adopting a similar name, set out to rival the male dating phenomenon but the site, when you try to access it, has a redirect to an insurance site.

Blendr is another dating application that, setting out with the right causes in mind, i.e. targeting straight and lesbian singles, has become off-putting for the female sector it has been aiming to capture by hosting ‘too many penis pics’.

Is it the market for lesbian love that just isn’t there?

There are thousands of bi-sexual and lesbian women hitting the right search terms on the internet, but this hopeful seeking is futile when it comes to finding a reliable app.

In the UK, there are 160k men signed up to Grindr, yet the multitudes of women looking for same sex relations cannot be tempted to sign up for similar services.

What is the different ideology between the dating preferences?

There is a very simple explanation – so simple it not only says something about the state of same-sex dating but also the difference between the mindset of men and women when it comes to hooking up with a firm date.

Men are okay using their dating applications for the use of casual sex, hence these type of dating sites and applications have developed that type of reputation.

Many women prefer a genuine coupling, looking for a more substantial relationship. They, therefore, look to the more traditional dating site and are less likely to use an app to find someone for a one night stand in the local vicinity.

There is a market for lesbian Grindr-type applications but the perceived ideas many women hold of a relationship, even same-sex, indicates that there will never be as much demand as the male-only dating applications, although it is understood that there are hundreds of thousands of bi and lesbian women in the UK, let alone the world.

If there is someone out there with a bit of nounce, this could be an ideal opportunity to plug this hole in the lesbian dating market.

Picture perfect or changing faces?

On the back of a rush to the checkout for singles looking to bag a date for New Year’s Eve, plenty of fish have offered their members invaluable advice based on recent studies about their successful membership.

It has recognised that people who present an unmodified photograph, and dedicated dating site users can tell the difference between air-brushed profile photos and the real thing, have the best reaction.

Not just to attracting people to them in the first instance but, because the dating site member has chosen to represent a true image of themselves on their profile, their partner gets what they expect when they first meet and therefore are most successful in securing a second date.

Keep it fresh to keep ’em kean

The advice from the dating site, to keep any potential partners hot to trot, is to be flexible with your profile photographs. As well as ensuring your dating profile reflects a true-to-life image, rotate the pictures to invite more interest from genuinely interested parties.

Then, when you feel you can procastinate no more, slay the dating site community with your best snap to truly get your date begging to meet with you.

Get online now if your new to dating sites

This is the busiest time of year for dating sites. As soon as Boxing Day rolls around, it is all systems go for the online dating industry until Valentine’s Day rolls around some seven weeks later, according to a source from Match.com.

New Year represents a dating milestone

Whether it’s to bury a terrible year for dating or fire up hopes for a more successful one, singles use New Year as both a full stop and the beginning of a new chapter.  A time to draw the line under past failures, learn the lessons from those disasters and prepare yourself for the challenge of dating with a whole new community and with a different attitude.

The report even suggests that, if you just can’t find or choose someone you genuinely would like to date, why not consider blind dating?

If you do do this as an option, the site are wary of the security and recommend that you invite the person to a get together where you have plenty of friends who can keep an eye on proceedings.

Start 2012 with a bang

There are times of the year when singles will go out of their way to change just that statistic – being a single – even if it is just for one night only.

Christmas is one, family or office parties are another – but the one event that no one wants to be alone for is the dawn of a New Year.

Whether it’s a psychological need or a physical requirement to have someone to see the old year out and welcome the new one in, singles across the world seek to end their loneliness, if only for one night.

Last minute shopping – for a festive date

As internet shoppers hit the online malls festooned with Christmas cheer before the festive break, it wasn’t only gift-wrapped presents for the relatives eager party-goers were in the market for.

Online dating sites reported a massive surge in activity as singles desperately looked for a date for the end of the year.

Long-term relationships not a consideration

The old adage ‘A dog is for life, not just for Christmas’ springs to mind in a truly converse sense; Heather Paul sums up the mood succinctly of what it means to singles to have someone they can call their own for this fleeting moment.

In a recent article in the NYDaily News, she states, simply, “I do not care if we click, because I will keep him around until Jan. 1 so I will have someone to ring in the new year with.”

Dating sites for just about anything

Heather has her new year date courtesy of ILoveYourAccent.com. It’s unique selling point is that it offers singles from either side of the pond the opportunity to interact and hook up together, providing they can meet, of course.

It’s amazing how far people will travel to meet up, if they feel there is a genuine opportunity for a relationship; with looking for a one-off date, as seems the case with the very recent activity dating sites are reporting, it may well be that singles are using the online dating facility to find someone local for the festive period.

The profile picture has it

According to one dating site, who have reported a 15% increase in new sign-ups to their free dating facility and 20% in their existing dating site community, the combination of beautiful eye and a killer smile is the best recipe for success.

More on that in the next article.

With the millions of online dating site users, there should be someone for everyone. But the clock is ticking and with only a few days to go until the year of the London Olympics rolls around, it’s time to get your skates on and get yourself a date for New Year’s Eve.

Well do you love me, too?

Does your man still love you, or is it time to hit the world of online dating to see if you can find love hidden away on the web’s thousands of dating site facilities?

Following on from yesterdays article, where we asked about love and quality time, we conclude with the bedroom test to see if your man still retains his ardour or whether your relationship’s all become a bit of a flop.

Let’s get physical

And the ultimate test – how is he performing in the bedroom?

Does he put the time and effort in when you’re making love for the interaction to be about the two of you? Does he only come on to you after his couple of beers have turned into several and Stella Artois is driving his ardour?

Or even outside of the bedroom, do you feel secure when he holds you, or do you only get hugs when he needs to feel warmth and affection?

When written in black and white, these sentiments seem obvious. But they are so hard to face that many women just carry on, regardless.

Don’t be that woman. We all need to feel loved – it is one of our key motivators to stave off depression and keep ourselves upbeat in our daily lives.

If this is you, or you are looking across thousands of dating site profiles to see if you can find men who exhibit traits of personality that entrust you to them to provide you with the necessary love you crave, put these (potential) lovers to the test before you go on a date with them, to see if they are rue to their word or just all mouth and no trousers.

You know what you’re looking for – devise a few questions to truly examine your existing man and see if the love is still there, but just buried by an unassociated issue that you can both deal with to eradicate and let your love flow. Or, be true to yourself if the answers are negative, what you’ve grown to expect, and it really is time to take your head out of the sand, admit that you’re going nowhere and try to find yourself a man, in real life or test the water on a dating site, and start afresh.

There are literally thousands, nay millions, of men waiting to give love a good home for the right woman on UK dating sites and right around the world. Or, if you don’t want to give up just yet, our next article will be on getting your man and keeping him, after the imminent festivities.

Merry Christmas and here’s to a properous New Year, with the right man in tow, of course!
And thank you, all the readers, for getting us on page one of Google – ya-hey! We love you – there’s more to come in 2012 – dating.org.uk will rock your dating world, next year!

Don’t let the millions of dating sites grind you down

For those of you new to the world of online dating, the plethora of dating sites spattered across the internet can be daunting. Once your profile is keyed in, and that can be a task in its own rite, there are so many other new facilities to get used to.

What you absolutely do not want, after spending possibly hours tweeking your profile so that it is the real you people can approach, is then having to wait for hours for your first bite.

One of the absolute key elements about making your online dating experience work for you is deciding what you want to get out of the experience.

Are you just testing the water?

Dating sites can be as fun or as serious as you want them to be. How you use them will be as much as an influence on the results you get back as the effort you’re putting in.

For example, you may only want to use the faclity as a contact website. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship or are recently divorced, the odds are you will not have dated for a length of time. Boy, how things have changed.

You may only want to use your service to pick up hints and tips that you can take into the realm of offline dating. This, of course, is fine, but you may exclude a sector of the dating site membership if you actually write that you’re only using their community to do a bit of flirting. Keep that bit to yourself to encourage the most overall response.

Check out the wild side of online dating

When you’re in a long term relationship, the blinkers are off; many couples experiment with sex as a way to bring their closeness together and find out about themselves in a way they never thought imaginable.

If you’ve missed out on letting your hair down there are many adult dating sites that can accomodate your every need – and some you never thought possible, or even legal.

It is important, however, to wait until you’ve built someone’s trust before mentionging this type of activity or alternatively join a site that expressly allows you to divulge that nature of information.

Your profile for the world to see

Now, this is gonna be hard to believe, but one or both halves of a married couple have been known to use dating sites.

Yep, it’s true – the sacred vow of marriage can be no barrier to accessing singles looking for a fling, or even other married folk looking for a little extra-curricular dating activity.

If you do not want your significant other to find out about your website activity, choose a dating site that keeps your information private and does not display your personal information for the world to see. This may mean you have to join a paid site as free dating sites use any means possible to increase their revenue, which may mean selling your information.

The downside to joining a paid dating site facility, especially if you have a joint banking account, is that your monthly subscription will show on the statement – be sure to create an account elsewhere to ensure you don’t get caught out this way.

In order to get the best results from your dating site, be true to your own personality from the outset. If you are looking for something a little out of the ordinary, but are wary of adult dating sites, build up trust with other members before you either get a reputation on the site or the site admin choose to suspend your membership if enough of the dating community complain.

Well do you love me?

When you’ve been married for some time, some of the magic can fizzle and die. Life takes over and the little signs of affection that once were the portal to passion have become platitudes.

This can be true when you first start out dating, too. If that spark looks like flickering out early on, if football always comes first, or if he prefers a game of darts down the local to a quiet night in ‘on a promise’ with all the trimmings, you have to ask yourself: does he still love me?

Many women will adopt the ostrich theory: if they sense, on a subconscious level, that things ain’t what they used to be, they bury their heads in the sand rather than approach the issue head on.

This may keep the relationship alive in an literal sense, but does it take you back to when you first started dating, when you’d get butterflies just thinking about going to meet him?

Doubtful, but here are three tests you can apply to see if that lost love can be rekindled into the fiery passion you had on those first intimate dates.

What’s love got to do with it?

How often do you hear those three little words, other than when you go out of your way to fetch a pack of beer ready for the game or when you do that ‘special thing’ he likes so much when the lights go out?

Is he afraid to profess his love in public or does he supress his feelings when you’re out together? Or when you’re alone or on the phone to each other, how often does he actually finish the conversation with the phrase, “I love you“, not just a quick ‘love you’ and be on his way.

Time for action

How much do you see of your man?

When he says he’s stopping off for a couple of beers after a work, is he true to his word, or do those two stretch to three and four, neglecting anything you may have prepared for tea or other responsibilities that allow you your free time?

And how often does he get ‘held up’ at work when he knows you’ve made special arrangements, maybe even organised a date to galvanise what you have and try and add a bit more sheen to your waning relationship, and are waiting for him to be home on time, for a change?

We’ll leave you to ponder those; boxing day, we take this love-test into the bedroom…

Get back on track after breaking up 2

Carrying on from part 1, we conclude with a couple more tips to at least ensure that your first date secures a second. More than that, tips to help you identify possible timewasters, wrapped up in a long-since dead love affair, next to which you’ll have to live up to for the rest of your, or the relationship’s, days, whichever ends soonest.

Be upbeat and not too probing

The key to a good date, in the reconnaissance sense, is to get an overview of your potential partner. At this stage, you do not want to delve deep into any specifics, especially relationships. Would you like to be given the third degree about your divorce on the first date? Absolutely not.

Keeping the conversational tone light and positive will discourage your partner from throwing up barriers, giving you a truer sense of the real them than a guarded view if you take on the role of inquisitor.

Also, you want something to talk about next time. If you’ve done all of the positives to death first time around, the second date will end up focusing on the negatives.

It’s about the two of you

A bout of nervousness is usual for most people before any date, but even worse for those who have grown out of the habit of hooking up for the first time.

You may want to proclaim your new found freedom – you could go on for hours and you probably would – but you’ll be far better off taking stock, gauging feedback and allowing your partner to express themselves during every point of the evening.

It’s understandable that you want to make an impression, but allowing them to paint a picture of themselves as well as you daubing their walls with the colour ‘you‘ will ensure you can make a reasoned assessment of the evening and whether a second date is warranted.

Dating should be fun; try and stay relaxed (not seven sheets relaxed, though), keeping the objective in focus all the way. Be as honest as you can without giving too much away – there’ll be plenty of time for in depth psycho-analysis, if and when your relationship gets that far, down the line.

Getting to know the real them and giving them an insight to what makes you happy is imperative to long term happiness, in any relationship. Be true to yourself, accentuate positives and let them have their say.

If you’ve got it right, just said enough to get them hooked and given them chance to at least outline their profile and the second date is still on, then that’s job done; you can stop worrying what all the fuss was about and get ready for the second date.

Get back on track after breaking up 1

Dating can be an arduous task at the best of times; an elite small percentage can just do it, whereas many of us have to build up tentatively, uncertain of how the ground lies, even more uncertain of ourselves.  This is never more true than after exiting a long term relationship.

Whether it is marriage we’re talking or having lived with your ex in a common-law partnership, it has possibly been a while since you’ve been on a date and wonder if you want to put yourself through the mill yet another time, just to be hurt again some way down the line.

Here are a few guidelines to get you back into the swing of things and eliminate some of the issues that may lead you to jump out of the frying pan into the fire…

Time to move on

When you’re on that first date, even if you have been communicating fluently and for a period of time over your dating site forum, it is inevitable that conversation will stall at some point during the occasion.

Do not use tales about your ex to bridge those awkward silences. The first signal that falling back onto that topic will send out is one of pining for your lost love. Can you imagine being with someone on the first date and, the moment you’ve said your piece and they theirs, they start comparing your answers or mannerisms to their recently divorced partner? Not fun – you imagine what they’re going to be comparing next…

Don’t you be the one to make your new partner think that they have to compete on every level with your ex – that’s a sure-fire way to guarantee your relationship ends the moment that first date draws to its natural conclusion, if not before.

Focus on your partner and the date itself

If your date has read the ‘tips for a first date‘ handbook (of which there are thousands online), they will have gone to extreme lengths to get their look just right for the occasion. That’s everything from hair and general attire to the time, setting and location.

Nothing will quite kill the mood and atmosphere if you start talking about what a pain your three year old son Billy was at nursery or why your department at work is not hitting its sales target.

Yes, you may have had the day from hell, but leave it roasting in the fires of Hades and celebrate this moment and the possible paradise to which it may lead.

Continued in Get back on track after breaking up 2

Less flack nowadays as cougar styles move in one direction

When Doctor Foster happened upon Gloucester in the middle of the nineteenth century, never to return again, it wasn’t perhaps the fact that he stepped in the piddle up to his middle that stopped him returning. More likely, if the women way back then were anything like the city’s present female population, it was the fact that he was being hunted by cougars that made him uneasy about going back.

This is what the results of a recent survey, show: Gloucester has more cougars than anywhere else in the country, with 7 out of 10 women actively considering dating younger men. Of those, 12 per cent are actively on the prowl, looking to get their claws stuck in to a strip of younger flesh for nothing more than a passing liaison.

Quite surprisingly, that figure is not excessively higher than the national average, with just over half of the women on singles network Badoo who took part in the online questionnaire conceding they had seriously considered picking up toyboys at one time or another.

The dating site polled 2,000 UK women to find out which city was the country’s cougar capital, with Gloucester having one in ten more women likely to pounce on a young buck than its closest rivals. Both cities completing the top three in the adult dating survey were north of the border, with Aberdeen registering 62% of its women looking for a highland fling with a younger man and Scotland’s second city, Glasgow, finishing in third, with 61% of its females pining for younger Gorbals looking to sow their oats.

As recently reported here on dating.org.uk, although fashionable, this type of relationship can soon get fraught. Demi Moore’s relationship with Ashton Kutcher, 16 years her junior, lasted a fleeting six years after they made it down the aisle. Madonna and Guy Ritchie promised so much, both at the pinnacle of their professions, but lasted such a short time.

Of course, the current flavour of the month is media presenter Caroline Flack, dating X-Factor wannabe Harry Styles from the group One Direction, made popular by money-magnate Simon Cowell’s show. At 32, Caroline is taking the cougar theme to the extreme by dating the 17-year old, who would still be at school, albeit sixth form, if it wasn’t for the ‘fame’ bestowed by the popular update of New Faces.

Will this one go the distance? I’d bet him a pint that it won’t, but he’s not yet old enough to buy it me when I win…

Intimate inmates 1

Many posts on this dating website have been written specifically to promote members’ awareness of the fact that, behind many profiles, lies the face of a criminal just waiting to coax you out of your hard-earned cash.

To some, this is no surprise; yet others are genuinely shocked when they fall for the sob stories without realising that Jeanette from Dagenham is really a college graduate from Nigeria working from his laptop in a cafe well on his way to earning $60k a year, towards which your ‘gift’ is just a token contribution.

It is quite possible, too, that your ‘Jeanette’ on one dating site is ‘Rachel’ on another, or at least the real person behind the front is one and the same. Your tokens of affection, which you assume are heading to different parts of the UK, will never be cashed in a European bank. If you could trace the wire that sent the money transfer, you’d see your money sitting in a bank in Africa.

This is deceitful, but nonetheless commonplace; some people carry on for years, transferring huge amounts of money before they realise that they’ve been duped by a criminal mastermind.

There are, however, very different kinds of criminals on dating sites, becoming all the more popular. If there is such a thing, these criminals are legitimate, posting their loosely disguised dating profiles on ‘pen-pal’ sites from their cells across the US. There is a substantial market for women who genuinely want to date men on the inside, likewise, men who become enthralled with female prisoners.

Not that inmates have a PC waiting for them when they check in to whichever penitentiary it is they are to serve their time. The onus is on their circle of friends from ‘the outside’ to get them set up on dating sites – this can incur a charge, depending upon the site and the type of service they purport to offer.

One of the first reactions, other than ‘what do the couple gain physically from the relationship’ is ‘why do prisoner governors allow this?’

Many are, as mentioned, fronted as a pure contact site, however the details of the profile are straight from any ‘dating site in a box’ you can buy or affiliate from the internet. Otherwise, being able to form a remote relationship beyond the confines of the prison establishment promotes a sense of self that can be so difficult to find once one gets sentenced to spend time behind bars.

Prisoners with a sense of purpose and something to look forward to once they have served their time are much more likely to stay away from activities that would jeopardise parole than those with nothing to lose by flouting the laws whilst incarcerated.