If you were to really think about the terminology, ‘online dating’ isn’t. According to the freedictionary.com, the definition of dating is: ‘An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.’
I mean, I know times have changed and we now have fantastic touch-screen computers and mobile interfaces, but even they cannot replicate the feeling of holding hands underneath L’Arc de Triomphe on a chill, November midnight.
So, how do we cross that Champs Elysee of a road to get your new online partner to leave the comfort of their home and actually come out on a date with you? And if you have ever been unfortunate enough to have to cross that road between 7am and 10pm, you’ll know that’s no mean feat! Give me the online dating challenge every time.
a quick recap on the basics of online dating
First and foremost, you must start building bridges, and the keystone that binds any relationship has to be trust.
This can be difficult, given that any potential blossoming is still in the virtual zone and needs terra firma to really take root. Honesty is the best policy from the outset. Okay, if you’re a recovering alcoholic or have got twelve children, these are things you may want to introduce at a later stage.
But the basics like age, weight, career, ambition and what you are looking for from the dating website and any future long-term relationship you have to be straight down the line from the outset.
Do not, repeat: not, try and jazz up your profile with some ludicrous tale like you’re 6’2” and 15st, when you’re 5’4” and 9st wringing wet; or that you ‘head up the IT department’ at work, when you’ve only just figured out how to launch the internet on your 7-year old PC that the kids left behind when your partner walked out just before the divorce. Sounds harsh, but desperation leads to all of the wrong decisions.
And, if you are on a bit of a downer, do not let that dullen your profile. By all means mention that you are separated, heck – how many dating site members aren’t?, but try to keep the majority of what you’re saying about yourself upbeat, in order to attract more invitations to date. As in ‘real’ date, off-screen, where the clammy, nervous hand is a real, tangible entity, not a dream across 1,000 miles of cyber-space.
To instil confidence further, ensure that you suggest the first date be in a public place. No matter how convincing or genuinely trustworthy you are, your new online dating friend cannot really start to trust you until after a few liaisons.
And remember, people may look slightly different to their profile pic, if you’ve not had access to a web-cam date prior to your first meeting. In a recent survey, it was discovered that men’s dating site profile photos were 6 months old, on average, whereas women’s were from 18 months ago. However different your partner looks off-screen, be sure to compliment them, to set them at ease.
Okay – that’s you set, and ready to give your partner an Eiffel, when you meet and make the date a date. All of this virtual relationship malarkey – it’s enough to drive you in Seine!