Your body speaks volumes

Why learning body language can help on dating sites

Humans are not alone as a species in the animal kingdom possessing the ability to transmit messages of love without uttering a word. Far from it, we are perhaps one of the worst. Having developed our linguistic skills to such an extent as we have and being able to connect over vast distances whilst remaining invisible to the correspondent, we have become heavily reliant upon taking people at their word. Especially on social media and dating sites, where building a relationship based on trust in the other is imperative to making the transaction work.

But, in the world of online dating, how can our comprehension of body language help us sort the wheat from the chaff?

We have already looked at patterns in dating site profiles which help detect the fraudulent from the trustworthy using the way their portray themselves. Another way to digest information using textual content is when utilising the ‘live chat’ feature; if there is a long break between messages that doesn’t contain page after page of declaration of their undying love thereater, instead the next just contains a ‘yes, I know’ following your last post, then they’re obviously into something, or someone, which interests them more.

Yes, people get called away, but if your online partner does value your feelings, they will let you know they’ve been distracted from the dating site to allow you, likewise, to take a break.

If we do become interested in developing the relationship with a potential partner further than purely the online dating platform of our choice, we can always suggest a one-to-one on video-cam before arranging to meet off-line.

This is probably a good idea, in any case, just to ensure that your target dating prospect is who they say they are before you let your feelings take over and arrange a blind liaison.

Once they have agreed to a dating tête-à-tête via live video streaming, you can truly test the waters.

The first thing to look out for is eye contact. If it’s a direct lie they’re telling you, they will look away. If your partner is playing you up, their glance will head sideways; penetrating gazes deep into your soul indicate they do want you to go on that date with them.

And do not rule out ‘instinct’; there is a lot to be said for the old adage ‘like with like’, and your gut will give you an indication if the single you are looking at is dating material.

Hand gestures, too, play a high role. If your online partner is gesturing frequently, they are getting into your conversation, therefore expressing a wish to allow you closer to them. If they are playing with their hair or rubbing their fingers, well, just ask away.

And lastly, the smile. A genuine broad beam will set your date at rest; if it is forced, you may be giving the signal you want the date to end there and then. Or that you are expected to smile in a situation that doesn’t make you easy enough to do so.

So, arm yourself with these weapons and, next time you’re up on web-cam, you could save yourself a whole lot of time and effort in a wasted liaison.

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